# All European descended people are really black **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 22, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221 "2009-12-22T18:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/61 "2009-12-24T11:21:43Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > I’m glad I’m not the only one here to know about the oompa loompa lineage. The word is spreading, and a rapidly growing number of people are **reclaiming their racial heritage** by going to **tanning parlors.** > > Our government is fighting the truth, even putting a tax on tanning parlors in the health reform bill. I am amazed that John Boehner allowed that tax to go through. Think the NSA got to him? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/62 "2009-12-24T14:03:47Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I am amazed that John Boehner allowed that tax to go through. Think the NSA got to him? Boehner won’t balk until they start taxing spray tan. Nobody ever turned that shade of orange naturally. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/63 "2009-12-24T18:54:48Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > There’s already a growing subset of people reclaiming their Oompa-Loompa heritage. > > Cites; > > [http://www.frakincool.com/pictures/ginos-love-spray-tan/](http://www.frakincool.com/pictures/ginos-love-spray-tan/) > > [http://failblog.org/2008/03/31/orange-fail/](http://failblog.org/2008/03/31/orange-fail/) > > [http://www.paleisthenewtan.com/](http://www.paleisthenewtan.com/) WTF!?!? Are those real? Jebus. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/64 "2009-12-24T18:58:21Z")
yes, yes they are. Do some minor googling. See more of the same. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/65 "2009-12-24T22:20:34Z")
[Woman Proud Of Horrible Tan](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39032) [Horde Of Orange Monsters Exits Local Tanning Salon](http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/horde_of_orange_monsters) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/66 "2009-12-25T05:32:29Z")
I think that theory isn’t far-reaching enough. Protozoan powah ftw! ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/67 "2009-12-25T08:25:17Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Yeah, but can you jump? Let me put to you this way. I signed up for my High School Freshman basketball team, and was 6’3". They made a 5’4" black kid the center. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/68 "2009-12-25T10:17:28Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Fun fact - Colin Powell is a fluent Yiddish speaker. [Not true.](http://www.snopes.com/glurge/powell.asp) (Although snopes declares the stated myth to be true, if you read the article, it’s clear that while Gen. Powell does speak a little Yiddish, he is not actually fluent.) ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/69 "2009-12-25T17:46:16Z")
But he was a shabbos goy, right? Or am I mixing him up with Elvis Presley? Fun fact: Elvis was in fact a shabbos goy- but technically he was Jewish, too\*. Talk about identity crises. \*His mother’s mother’s mother identified as Jewish. As Judaism is matrilineal, that makes the King a _melech_. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/70 "2009-12-25T18:48:19Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Let me put to you this way. > > I signed up for my High School Freshman basketball team, and was 6’3". > > They made a 5’4" black kid the center. I bet this scarred your precious little teenage mind so much you decided that those lazy blacks deserve no help from anyone because they get all that welfare money for doing drugs all day, right? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/71 "2009-12-25T19:27:42Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > I bet this scarred your precious little teenage mind so much you decided that those lazy blacks deserve no help from anyone because they get all that welfare money for doing drugs all day, right? I think he meant that he can’t jump. I don’t think he meant anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/72 "2009-12-25T20:27:05Z")
Oh. Never mind. [/Emily Litella] ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221/73 "2009-12-27T05:32:45Z")
Perhaps it was a mis-hearing of, **Colin Powell is flatulent in Yiddish.** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-european-descended-people-are-really-black/522221.md?page=3)