# All Hail Kang and Kodos **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 21, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122 "2002-05-21T16:30:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/21 "2002-05-21T19:39:24Z")
Homer: “Oh, great…Mormons.” Kang: “Actually, we are quantum presbyterians.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/22 "2002-05-21T21:31:56Z")
To somebody not especially familiar with Kang and Kodos (they’re the two one-eyed aliens, right?), this thread is truly surreal. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/23 "2002-05-21T22:07:46Z")
If you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/24 "2002-05-21T22:29:35Z")
“To pronounce it corectly, I would have to rip out your tongue.” ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/25 "2002-05-21T22:30:31Z")
_giggles insanely_ unfortunatly all the quotes I know have been used so I can’t contribute. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/26 "2002-05-21T22:41:06Z")
My 2nd favorite characters, Capt. McAllister being my favorite: “I am CLIN-TON. As overlord, you will all kneel before me and obey my brutal commands. End communication.” “It doesn’t matter which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOOOOOOMED.” “The politics of failure have failed! We need to make them work again! Tomorrow, when you are sealed in the voting cubicle, vote for me, Senator KA—Bob Dole.” “I too am looking forward to an orderly election tomorrow, which will eliminate the need for a violent bloodbath.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/27 "2002-05-21T23:31:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*To somebody not especially familiar with Kang and Kodos (they’re the two one-eyed aliens, right?), this thread is truly surreal. \*\* Yup, none other. LOL, i’m getting giggly just thinking about how this thread must appear to people who have never even heard of “The Simpsons.” It’s the same for me whenever I wander into a Monty Python thread… ---
**Author:** ![Kang\_and\_Kodos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8baadc/32.png) [@Kang\_and\_Kodos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kang_and_Kodos)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/28 "2002-05-24T14:05:53Z")
Wait, there appears to be more space dust on the book. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/29 "2002-05-24T14:12:33Z")
HOW TO COOK FOR HUMANS ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/30 "2002-05-24T14:15:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*HOW TO COOK FOR HUMANS \*\* HOW TO COOK FORTY HUMANS ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/31 "2002-05-24T14:37:01Z")
HOW TO COOK FOR FORTY HUMANS You thought we were going to eat you? GOOD GOD ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/32 "2002-05-24T14:52:47Z")
“Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!” ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/33 "2002-05-24T16:09:54Z")
**Kang or Kodos** : It seems the earthlings won. **Kang or Kodos** : Did they? That board with a nail in it may have defeated us. But the humans won’t stop there. They’ll make bigger boards and bigger nails, and soon, they will make a board with a nail so big, it will destroy them all!! [then both laugh evilly for a long while] ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/34 "2002-05-24T17:03:26Z")
Kang is my co-pilot. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/35 "2002-05-24T17:11:48Z")
Flanders: “First thing I’m going to do is wish away those pesky aliens.” Not exactly a K&K line, but it is about them so it kinda qualifies. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/36 "2002-05-24T20:02:04Z")
"To put you at ease, we have recreated the most common spawning locations of your species. You may choose either the back seat of a Camaro, an airplace bathroom, a friend’s wedding, or an alley behind a porno theatre. " ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/37 "2002-05-24T20:35:20Z")
> [@](#): > > “It doesn’t matter which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOOOOOOMED.” KENT BROCKMAN: Well, a refreshingly frank answer from Senator Dole… ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/38 "2002-05-24T22:13:36Z")
It is 100% impossible to read these lines in anything other than the Kang and Kodos voice. ---
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/39 "2002-05-24T22:30:28Z")
(Woman in Jerry Springer crowd wearing a poodle sweater) “If yer the father where you been at?” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122/40 "2002-05-24T23:31:19Z")
“Anyone from a species that has mastered intergalactic travel raise your hand.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-kang-and-kodos/110122.md?page=3)