# All Hail the new "Dining Sleeve" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450 "2007-04-24T14:29:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/21 "2007-04-24T21:16:45Z")
I support the dining sleeve only if it can be used to slap Karl Rove’s face at Washington dinners. If it could be filled with quarters first, I’d donate the first dollar. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/22 "2007-04-24T22:14:10Z")
And the ads at the bottom of the page are for “peace flags” and “earth flags”. I smell…conspiracy… …yes, that’s what conspiracy smells like. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/23 "2007-04-24T22:15:59Z")
I have a proposal which will enable us to eliminate the use of toilet paper altogether! After crapping, Sheryl Crow can lick our bung holes! This is _way_ more environmentally friendly than what Ms. Crow is proposing, plus, she’ll be eating better! (Is it wrong of me to suggest that the world would be better off if she’d have choked on Lance’s cancer filled testicle?) ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/24 "2007-04-24T22:19:03Z")
I wonder if Sheryl Crow wants us all to stop eating vegetables, fruit, fibre, and so on, shitting for the minimising of? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/25 "2007-04-24T23:18:13Z")
I’ve long done the sarcastic eye-roll at the shenanigans of anal-retentive celebrity activists, but this is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/26 "2007-04-25T00:15:30Z")
I don’t care, not a care to spare, one way or t’other about Sheryl Crow, but, for the record, today she said it was all a [joke](http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3071833&page=1). ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/27 "2007-04-25T00:18:25Z")
[QUOTE=elelle] I don’t care, not a care to spare, one way or t’other about Sheryl Crow, but, for the record, today she said it was all a [joke](http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3071833&page=1). [/QUOTE] Ah, the “Keith Richards” defense. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/28 "2007-04-25T00:22:38Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] I tell you what, let me take a dump on her face and see if she thinks that two or three squares of toilet paper will clean her up just fine. [/QUOTE] This is the best possible answer one could come up with. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/29 "2007-04-25T00:27:51Z")
[QUOTE=elelle] I don’t care, not a care to spare, one way or t’other about Sheryl Crow, but, for the record, today she said it was all a [joke](http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3071833&page=1). [/QUOTE] From that article: > [@](#): > > “We’re just so happy that people are talking about global warming, even if it’s brought on by a joke,” Crow told ABC News. But they’re not talking about global warming; they’re talking about what an idiot Sheryl Crow is. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/30 "2007-04-25T01:15:59Z")
What does it say about you, Ms Crow, that most people took what you said (an _obvious_ joke) as the truth? heh. You _can_ sing, tough, I’ll give you that. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/31 "2007-04-25T01:50:24Z")
Hmm, I don’t even like her music, but, here’s the [original post](http://www.sherylcrow.com/news.aspx?nid=7786) from her blog. She was ham-handedly trying to be funny. That’s what so-so writing gets ya: a big can o’ whup ass on the wipe ass issue. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/32 "2007-04-25T03:58:21Z")
I dunno why I did this, here’s my rewrite of Ms. Crow’s trying to be funny, it coulda been done: Original Blog writing Possible Rewrite: I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with some easy-ass ways for each and everyone to become a part of the rectification of the problem of global warming. Ideas come rumbling through my mind, undigested, as of yet, but well worth investigating. Most important is the conservation of trees, which we rely on for oxygen, our simple breath of life. Paper, made from trees, is used without much thought at all , willy-nilly. People often don’t give a shit about this, but we should . We should appreciate our use of those products, and seek to conserve our precious resources. Therefore, I propose a limitation on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in an individual’s daily squatting duties. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights of elimination, but I think we are a resourceful enough people that we can just up and make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those expansive occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. We just need to think ahead, and, so, “Have that square to spare”, for Future Generations. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.” Well, he was a fool, I guess, implicitly… %^D! I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness (Ed.: sheesh, spell a little ?). How about this, fellow enviromentalists: a clothing line that has a “dining sleeve”? Work with me here: The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another “dining sleeve,” after usage. This will offer the diner of the simple convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product… The sleeve could be then be rewashed , and reused. What is so brilliant about this is that one shirt may last for several seasons, with the simple change of sleeve styles that has plagued many a fashion-conscious, and germ-a-phobic, snot-dripping shirt wearer, for decades. \ ***Could’ve been kinda funny** ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450/33 "2007-04-25T04:45:47Z")
I’d do her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-the-new-dining-sleeve/401450.md?page=1)