# All Hail Zenster!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 5, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280 "2001-07-05T02:03:14Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/1 "2001-07-05T02:03:14Z")
I just want to publicly acknowledge and thank Zenster, who provided us with his amazing ribs recipe, and gave me a few tips besides, which resulted in one of my guests declaring, “It’s quite possible that these are the best ribs I’ve ever had.” Wow.
Hey Zenster: I was skeered of the sugar, but I took the plunge. I held back on the cayenne and the salt, it definitely could have used a bit more, but it rocked anyway. 16 pounds of ribs demolished. You rule!!!
ALL HAIL ZENSTER!
(Who not only has great recipes, but has shared them with us so generously, and did the extraordinary Ultimate Recipe Index.)
Thank you!
Stoid
(My potato salad was also lauded loudly, but that was really all my doing.)
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/2 "2001-07-05T02:14:36Z")
I don’t know if I can hail him … he still refuses to recognize the legitimacy of Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni.
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/3 "2001-07-05T06:46:24Z")
Thank you **Stoid**.
I’m really glad you enjoyed the recipe and it’s an honor that you deemed it worthy to risk on such a big party of yours. It’s also a pleasure that you should provide such a glowing testimonial to the very first recipe I ever posted in [The Ultimate Recipe Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39219). **Ogre** was willing to name me an honorary Southern gentleman upon review of it, so I must be doing something right.
The recipe itself is modeled after comments made by Charlie Vergo, owner of [The Rendezvous](http://www.memphismojo.com/places/downtown/restaurants/rendezvous.html) in Memphis, Tennessee. They were made on a television show narrated by Tennessee Ernie Ford called, “Great Barbeque Chefs of the Mid-West”.
Never have I seen such a long cooking show with a near total lack of precise recipes being mentioned. All you would usually get was this, “Homina… homina… homina…” sort of stuff out of the chefs when they were asked about their dry rub recipes and sauces. During the show they provided a brief breakdown on dry rubs that I used as a model for my own.
A few weeks earlier I had the privilige of tasting some ribs from The Rendezvous when they were flown in for a Christmas party, here in Silicon Valley. They were superb and my **R** ibquest™ began. Within five attempts I got to within 90% of what I remember tasting. Here is their recipe for [Pork Shoulder](http://www.foodtv.com/recipes/re-c1/0,1724,15471,00.html), just for grins.
Again, thanks for the appreciation **Stoid**. I’ll have to bump the thread with my barbecue sauce recipe, now that grilling season is here again.
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### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/4 "2001-07-05T07:28:48Z")
Well, it’s pretty killer, and now that I know how it all works together, I will be comfortable with doing heavier vinegar, salt, and maybe messing with it a bit.
You rock.
stoid
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/5 "2001-07-11T11:16:16Z")
That’s funny … I’d have figured **obfusciatrist** would have checked into this thread to reiterate his unabashed devotion to **Zenster**. I just can’t believe it.
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### Author:  [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2001, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/6 "2001-07-11T11:30:27Z")
**Astroboy reverently approaches his Zenster shrine… lights incense, purifies himself in the sacred BBQ sauce (daubing gently behind the ears), and approaches the altar. Astroboy yearns to gaze upon the visage of the Great Zenster, but knows that it is forbidden… so he approaches with his eyes downcast… Astroboy kneels before the altar, and succumbing to a religious fervor, begins to sway back and forth, chanting, “Zen-STER, Zen-STER, Zen-STER!” Reaching a frantic peak, Astroboy suddenly screams out, "Great Zenster! Grant us this day your blessing on our…"**
Wait, what are we talking about? **Astroboy frantically scrolls down to see what we are praising Zenster for…**
Oh, yeah!
**"…cooking, if it be thy will!" Astroboy collapses weeping upon the floor…**
😃
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### Author:  [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/7 "2001-07-12T01:19:25Z")
//// **Zenster** \\, you rock!
----:)/ x o x o x
----///\\
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### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/8 "2001-07-12T01:46:05Z")
That was me d@ng it, not **imthjckaz**.
----:o/
----///\\
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### Author:  [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/9 "2001-07-12T02:09:06Z")
That **Zenster** is indeed a fine fellow, and an all around splendid human being.
[sub]Psst… Zenster, I’d keep an eye on Astroboy. That shrine of his is a little…unsettling.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/10 "2001-07-12T02:17:53Z")
That **Zenster** is indeed a fine fellow, and an all around splendid human being.
[sub]Psst… Zenster, I’d keep an eye on Astroboy. That shrine of his is a little…unsettling.[/sub]
---
### Author:  [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/11 "2001-07-12T02:32:32Z")
That **Zenster** is indeed a fine fellow, and an all around splendid human being.
[sub]Psst… Zenster, I’d keep an eye on Astroboy. That shrine of his is a little…unsettling.[/sub]
---
### Author:  [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/12 "2001-07-12T02:38:15Z")
Apparently I like him even more than I knew.
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/13 "2001-07-12T02:41:42Z")
Well, I suppose I’m not entirely out of line with this, so:
Zenster, my brother just made a great mess of ribs this weekend, and would like some input from you. He’s got the standard cylinder smoker (can’t think of the make, but coals go in bottom, ribs go on rack, lid goes on top - usual setup). Well, he had his ribs in foil, with openings cut in the foil for the smoke to penetrate. He did this mostly so his rub wouldn’t be disturbed, and so he could move them around a bit better with tongs. What’re your thoughts on this?
And also, why don’t you soak your wood overnight as well?
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/14 "2001-07-13T05:07:50Z")
Your brother is to be admired for his devotion to the craft. The pierced foil routine is a bit over the top, but completely understandable when it comes to keeping the crust intact. I would be cautious using the technique with my own recipe, as it calls for the use of a vinegar marinade. Any residual acid from the soaking might react with the aluminum foil with potentially disastrous results.
Soaking the wood overnight is only required if you are using substantial pieces of hardwood. Otherwise starting in the morning is all you need to do.
Thanks for the kind words (and words, and words), Mister **B**. As to you **Astro** , send the complete contents of your bank account and wallet to;
17 Rupee Buildings
West 12
Wessex, UK.
And gosh **Snooooopy** , I’m still waiting for **Obs** to accept the presidency of my fan club. I guess I’ll just have to lay awake through the long winter nights wondering why he has yet to respond. Oh, the heartbreak!
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### Author:  [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2001, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/15 "2001-07-13T05:15:15Z")
heres a thumbs up for zenster, a mans man, and friend to the poor.
and a pretty damn good (cyber)cook. i like his recipes.
hold on. “i like zenster! he is my friend! i like his autograph!”
sorry, just channelin a little stimpy. im better now.
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### Author:  [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/16 "2001-07-13T21:12:01Z")
Now Snooooopy, I was purposely staying out of this thread. Hell, if you can get beyond his personality, Zenster is a hell of a guy (of course, by the time you get beyond it, he’ll probably have passed out from the alcohol).
However, if I post to this thread and rip into Zenster I would a) be violating the calmer tone of MPSIMS, b) be raining on Zenster’s parade (not that I have much of a problem there), and c) raining on Stoid’s parade. I don’t know really know much of Stoid so that is more than enough reason for me to hold my tongue.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/17 "2001-07-13T22:44:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \*
> \*\*Now Snooooopy, I was purposely staying out of this thread. Hell, if you can get beyond his personality, Zenster is a hell of a guy (of course, by the time you get beyond it, he’ll probably have passed out from the alcohol).
>
> However, if I post to this thread and rip into Zenster I would a) be violating the calmer tone of MPSIMS, b) be raining on Zenster’s parade (not that I have much of a problem there), and c) raining on Stoid’s parade. I don’t know really know much of Stoid so that is more than enough reason for me to hold my tongue. \*\*
Oh, you! I can’t believe you’d think I’d be trying to start a commotion between you two. I simply resurrected this thread because, as we all know, **Zenster** has a crippling problem with low self-esteem, and he seemed so depressed that a thread devoted to him didn’t get very far that I wanted to make him feel a little better about himself.
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/18 "2001-07-15T01:57:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \*
> \*\*…(of course, by the time you get beyond it, he’ll probably have passed out from the alcohol).
>
> However, if I post to this thread and rip into Zenster…\*\*
Gee, those statements reconcile just perfectly. Let’s see now, the only time you ever saw me completely hammered, was on the Superbowl, which incidently happened to be my own birthday.
* * *
\*\*NEWS FLASH!
MAN GETS LOADED ON HIS OWN BIRTHDAY!\*\*
* * *
Nice try **Obs** , but what you thought was a sly, transparent dig, was just another dose of your usual fare. I don’t think I would enjoy being you very much at all.
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### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/19 "2001-07-15T17:28:02Z")
Ahem…
Once more, with feeling, the title of this thread is:
ALL HAIL ZENSTER!!!
Not “All Get Snotty With Zenster”.
Because as far as I’m concerned, Zenster rocks. And this is my thread. And it’s not a GD. So be nice or leave. Thanks.
stoid
who wants more ribs!
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-hail-zenster/71280/20 "2001-07-15T23:33:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Stoid \*
> **stoid**
> who wants more ribs!
**Stoid** dahling, please send me the measurements from your dry rub recipe and I will cheerfully give you some pointers towards evolving your own personal masterpiece. I see that you have already found my [reply](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=78156) to the bull’s pizzle seen above.
PS: Thanks for the kind words **essvee** and all others who replied. Threads like this are always a gas (despite the occasional whizzer in the cheerios).
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