# All In the Family: Gloria cooks horse-meat **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 26, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432 "2013-02-26T15:22:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/1 "2013-02-26T15:22:43Z")
With the recent fuss in the news about horse-meat getting accidentally sold in Wal-mart, I recalled an episode of “All In the Family” with a sub-plot in which Gloria cooks a horse-meat dinner. Yet nobody I’ve mentioned this to remembers it. The episode starts with the Meat-head coming home from work and Gloria is in the kitchen making dinner. (They were still living with Archie & Edith at the time.) When he asks how she could afford to pay for steaks, she blithely remarks that it’s horse-meat, her friend brought them back from New Jersey, and remarks “a lot of people are eating it now.” Of course, Meat-head & Gloria agree that they have to keep this fact a secret from Archie, because he will not be “open minded” enough to try it if he knows this isn’t (cow) beef. It leads to one big laugh during the episode, when they all sit down at the table to eat and Archie exclaims “Hold your horses!” (about something completely different, but Meat-head & Gloria both freeze in panic.) It was not the main plot of the episode, it was a sub-plot although I don’t actually remember what the main topic they were discussing that week. People accuse me of making this up, but I swear I saw this. Does anybody else remember it? Help! ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/2 "2013-02-26T15:24:26Z")
I don’t recall seeing the episode but it looks like it was episode 4 of season 9, titled [“Edith’s Conversion.”](http://www.tv.com/shows/all-in-the-family/ediths-conversion-38177/) > [@](#): > > Archie becomes concerned when Edith begins attending Irene Lorenzo’s church. Edith also begins wearing a Catholic medallion and gets literature on how to be Catholic. This leads Archie to believe that Irene is trying to convert Edith to Catholicism. Meanwhile, with the rising meat prices, Gloria brings home horse meat and makes it for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/3 "2013-02-26T15:29:12Z")
Yes, I remember that episode. I also remember Meathead whinnying at Archie after the dinner. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/4 "2013-02-26T15:40:48Z")
OMG, that sounds hilarious! Did Archie ever find out what he’d eaten? Doesn’t really ring true though, it’s Gloria I would have expected to really object. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/5 "2013-02-26T15:41:34Z")
A classic, and both the horsemeat and the conversion plots had really funny lines. (Archie trying to find out if Edith got tricked into converting to Catholicism: “Did you eat a cookie?!”) Meathead was as aghast at first as well until she tricks him into eating a piece, after which he’s fine with it. It made me want to try horse meat, which I still haven’t done but wouldn’t be averse to. IIRC, the horse head used in _The Godfather_, which was a real horse head, came from a New Jersey slaughterhouse. > [@TruCelt](#): > > OMG, that sounds hilarious! Did Archie ever find out what he’d eaten? No. The dinner is interrupted because he has to go make an ass of himself with the Lorenzos over his suspicions of their trying to convert Edith, and the final scene is when he comes back home and asks them to reheat the steak because “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse”. In true sitcom style, Gloria and Mike collapse laughing, but it’s still funny. My favorite line of the episode is Edith’s, who does know what the meat is and is sickened by it. When Gloria tells her a horse is an animal that can be eaten just like a chicken she cries out: “But the queen don’t _ride_ a _chicken_!” ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/6 "2013-02-26T16:02:13Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > It made me want to try horse meat, which I still haven’t done but wouldn’t be averse to. I ate horse meat by accident\*. It was quite good. - Roaming through the streets of Berlin, I saw a butcher shop called “Ross” - figured it was a family name. Like most butcher shops in Germany, you can also go in and order some sandwiches and other prepared food. I ordered a “Boulette” - a specialty of Berlin - sort of a mini-meatloaf they eat like a hamburger with a roll - you can eat them warm or cold. It was very good - nicely spiced. And cheap! I mentioned this to a friend and the next time we were walking around, I took him there to try one. He saw the name “Ross” and laughed. _“Ross” was not a family name_. That is the German word for meat from horses (like “Schinken” (ham) is meat from pigs, “Rindfleisch” (beef) is meat from cows, etc.). He refused to try it. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/7 "2013-02-26T16:53:09Z")
I do remember seeing this ages ago. > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Yes, I remember that episode. I also remember Meathead whinnying at Archie after the dinner. IIRC, Michael also did that thing where you imitate the sound of a galloping horse by slapping your hands on your thighs. Archie thought he was piggishly wiping his hands. Sampiro has already quoted the other thing I recall from this episode: “But the queen don’t ride a chicken!” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/8 "2013-02-26T17:05:34Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > That is the German word for meat from horses (like “Schinken” (ham) is meat from pigs, “Rindfleisch” (beef) is meat from cows, etc.). He refused to try it. I thought the Germans just went ahead and called ham ‘pigmeat’ (_schweinefleisch_). That’s part of what I love about German - they don’t shy away from much. Only Germans could call nipples \*brustwoertze \* (breast warts). ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/9 "2013-02-26T17:26:20Z")
“Did you bow down and kiss some guy’s ring? Did someone take wet a stick in a bowl and then sprinkle it all over you? DID YOU EAT A COOKIE???” This is actually one of my favorite episodes. Thanks for tracking it down. > [@TruCelt](#): > > Doesn’t really ring true though, it’s Gloria I would have expected to really object. It’s not hard to imagine a modern day version of AITF in which the Meat-head and Gloria are vegan hipsters. (And Archie being a tea-party member.) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/10 "2013-02-26T17:28:39Z")
[QUOTE=Don Draper] “Did you bow down and kiss some guy’s ring? Did someone take wet a stick in a bowl and then sprinkle it all over you?” [/QUOTE] I can’t remember if this is the one where he mentions the priests “sprinkling incest over everybody”, but was or wasn’t, another great Archism. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/11 "2013-02-26T17:34:38Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I thought the Germans just went ahead and called ham ‘pigmeat’ (_schweinefleisch_). > > That’s part of what I love about German - they don’t shy away from much. Only Germans could call nipples \*brustwoertze \* (breast warts). You are correct - should have written “Schweinefleisch” (Pork) instead of “Schinken” (Ham). Yeah, German is direct and to the point. I always like to use the example for the German word for “birth control pills”…they call them “Antibabypillen”. How’s that for blunt?! Sorry for this slight hijack. Regarding this episode of All In The Family - I must have either forgotten or not seen this episode! I thought I had seen them all, but don’t remember the horse-meat show! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/12 "2013-02-26T19:40:55Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Sorry for this slight hijack. Not altogether a hijack. In this episode Archie suspects Edith of unwittingly turning Catholic, and in another episode he suspects her of unwittingly dating a German (played by Polish-Israeli actor Theodore Bikel), so there’s a connection. Then on an even later one, her German ersatz boyfriend returns with his German girlfriend, played in a dual role by Jean Stapleton. Point: apparently Norman Lear didn’t like hiring Germans. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/13 "2013-02-26T19:48:55Z")
The whole episode’s on YouTube, btw. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-ZeLMzn2uU) ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/14 "2013-02-27T01:19:33Z")
“You really whipped up a winner tonight!” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/15 "2013-02-27T02:14:39Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > The whole episode’s on YouTube, btw. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-ZeLMzn2uU](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-ZeLMzn2uU) Thanks. I just watched the whole thing. It’s still funny after all these years, and the underlying message regarding religion is still so very poignant. ---
**Author:** ![Hottius\_Maximus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ab097/32.png) [@Hottius\_Maximus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hottius_Maximus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/16 "2013-02-27T03:05:09Z")
I remember the episode. My favorite exchange comes when Archie confronts Father Majeski (Played by Barnard Hughes) and the priest gives him some advice. Father Majeski: Don’t talk to me; talk to your minister. Archie: The Reverend Fletcher? Father Majeski: FELCHER. Archie: Whatever…Geez why should I talk to that dumb bell? He’s responsible for turning more Protestants into Catholics than YOU are. HILARIOUS EPISODE! ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/17 "2013-02-27T04:04:13Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > “But the queen don’t _ride_ a _chicken_!” I remember another Edith line about the Queen “I can imagine the Queen brushing her teeth, but I can’t imagine her spitting it out” As a naive 12 year old, I didn’t realize the double entendre then. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/18 "2013-02-27T04:15:28Z")
I remember that episode very well. If I’d been one of the writers, I’d have Archy find out about the horse meat, right after he finishes it off. (They could have told him it was “fillie mignon.”) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/19 "2013-02-27T04:33:31Z")
Archie: I’m afraid my wife is gonna turn into _a Catholic!!_ Father Majeski: You make it sound like a horror movie. How did this happen? Under a full moon? Great, wonderful episode. Really proves that _All in the Family_ is just as good today as ever. The character of Father Majeski was recurring. He was introduced in another good episode where Edith dents the Father’s car with a can of cling peaches (in heavy syrup). Or mmm-hmms according to Edith’s hilarious monologue. Honest to god, they don’t make television that funny anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432/20 "2013-02-27T15:51:15Z")
[QUOTE=Two Many Cats] Honest to god, they don’t make television that funny anymore. [/QUOTE] Most shows today are either way too afraid of offending to make jokes about Catholics or horse meat or racism so they have the smark aleck kids and wacky neighbors but nothing with any substance, or (like the MacFarlane/South Park contingent) they love to offend for the sake of offending so the jokes are edgy but neither realistic nor poignant. _All in the Family_ was certainly controversial in its time (especially the first season), but can you imagine what it would be up against today? This episode alone would likely have The Catholic League, PETA, various anti-horsemeat factions, probably some anti-Polish defamation groups just for good measure, allegations that Archie was emotionally abusive, etc., all over the net and on any news show that would give them airtime. It irks me when I watch the show on cable and they’ve taken out words like _fag_, _spade_, _Hebe_, and anything else that might be considered offensive. Like Huckleberry Finn, the show was one of the most powerful indictments ever _against_ racism, and by having Archie as a surprisingly complex character it was one of the first to really seriously address the psychology of racism, and yet it was at the same time hysterical. Just a brilliant show. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-in-the-family-gloria-cooks-horse-meat/651432.md?page=2)