# All of the clothes you're wearing right now vanish this second. How screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396 "2016-11-29T18:33:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/41 "2016-11-29T21:53:09Z")
I have extra socks and shoes in my office, as well as a sweater and jacket, so I’m sure I could improvise something. Plus, I could call any of my friends in the office and they would help me out however they could. Mostly it would just be another hysterical **SpoilerVirgin** wardrobe malfunction story to share. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/42 "2016-11-29T21:58:08Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > Mostly it would just be another hysterical **SpoilerVirgin** wardrobe malfunction story to share. Oh? There are more stories? Do tell! (I once dropped my belt in the toilet and peed on it. That was the same day I got a folder cut and found out we’d been running the wrong commercial for a client for month. A very not good day.) ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/43 "2016-11-29T22:31:12Z")
As of right now, zero problem. I just got in from cleaning the gutter and threw my dirty rotting-organic-matter-covered clothes in the hamper, and pulled up the dope resting up in bed in underwear and socks as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/44 "2016-11-29T22:32:36Z")
Right this second? I’d be fine, but only because it’s the one day each week that I have a gym bag with me. I’m sitting in a proposal war room, but everyone else is gone for the day and the door is closed (and the room is windowless). Anyone with the right access could open the door at any moment, but I think I’d have time to scramble into my workout clothes. Being bra-less could be kind of weird/awkward, but not nearly as much as being nekkid. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/45 "2016-11-29T22:41:00Z")
If “now” means when I read the OP and type my answer, not very. I’m home alone with my wife and just about to go down for a nap. If “now” means when **Idle Thoughts** writes and posts the OP, pretty screwed, probably. Had a cleaning lady over at the time. She was working on the bathroom about then, so I might have been able to get my wife to fetch me a robe. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/46 "2016-11-29T22:46:59Z")
If it’s this second, I’m in my office with a door. I have my winter coat but if that disappeared I also have a tablecloth for one of the clubs that I advise. I’d wrap that around me like a toga until I got to the car. Now if I had been reading this an hour ago, I’d be sitting in the classroom on break for the three-hour class I teach. I’ve heard of nightmares about sitting in a classroom naked, but now this is a new one: being naked while teaching. I’m sure that wouldn’t be good (for anybody involved). ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/47 "2016-11-29T22:56:06Z")
I’d be REALLY Pissed! I Like these jeans! They fit, they don’t drop or drag by the back of my shoes… and they wear Really well. These jeans… they’re that 1 in 100 pair of 501s that shape and Bond to the shape of your body! I’ve got but ONE word for Anything that would take This pair… “Run…” ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/48 "2016-11-29T22:58:18Z")
I’m in the break room at work with two guys. I could hunch over the table enough to not show much, and thankfully, there’s a pile of jackets right beside my chair. I could fashion enough covering to get to my car, where there is some spare clothes, or call someone to help me. Regardless, it would not be a good introduction of the newbie to Whoville. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/49 "2016-11-29T23:00:25Z")
No problem, at this moment I’m home alone!😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/50 "2016-11-29T23:04:39Z")
10 minutes ago I would have been completely screwed, because standing in front of a bunch of high school students naked is frowned upon, both legally and in this case aesthetically. But now that school is over and there is no-one in my room but me, I could grab the spare team sweats and make it to my car without any problem. Explaining my situation to the wife, OTOH…BIG problem! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/51 "2016-11-29T23:20:42Z")
Well, at home right now in an inner room, with a change of clothes within arm’s reach and my closet two rooms over, so I’m safe and trouble free. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/52 "2016-11-30T00:22:48Z")
I’m working at home right now, with my husband in the same room. Aside from his cracking up over my sudden state of undress, no problem. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/53 "2016-11-30T03:12:42Z")
I’d be in deep shit. I’m at work in my office. Outside are about 40 women. The only other article of clothing I have is my suit jacket hanging on the cupboard. I could put the jacket around my waist to cover my junk but that’s only going to help me get down to the car and drive home, it’s not going to help me explain to any of them, or my boss, how I suddenly ended up naked in the office. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/54 "2016-11-30T03:16:18Z")
I’d be fine, I have a closet full of clothes less than half a metre away from me. I don’t really do any internetting outside of my home. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/55 "2016-11-30T03:45:28Z")
I’m in my living room at home. The front door’s open, but it’s a short sprint to the bedroom to get more clothes. The wife, however, might be so overcome with lust that I might very well get screwed indeed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/56 "2016-11-30T04:59:28Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Let’s say as you are reading this, right this second, all of your clothes disappear leaving you fully naked wherever you are sitting/standing. Er… I’m just out of the shower and relaxing before bed. I’m already naked. So no problem! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/57 "2016-12-01T00:23:55Z")
Sitting on the John now with no one else around. Much less inconvenienced than in a few hours and I would be reading during lunch. Even then it would be a quick run out to the scooter and get my rain gear. ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/58 "2016-12-01T00:49:01Z")
There’s a chance I could make from my (reception) desk to the office restroom without anyone noticing, but just as likely Security will be here any minute. ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/59 "2016-12-01T00:55:33Z")
**Idle Thoughts** , huh? Hmm, never would have guessed. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396/60 "2016-12-01T01:09:10Z")
At the time of reading this, I’m at home on my sofa. Aside from my 5 y.o. pointing and laughing at my pudge, I’d be ok. Well, except for having to go _all the way_ upstairs to get some replacement clothing, which would annoy me since I just got comfy. And I may be on my last pair of clean trousers, now that I think about it. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-of-the-clothes-youre-wearing-right-now-vanish-this-second-how-screwed-are-you/773396.md?page=4)