# All right, I'll ask. Being a jerk via PM? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 17, 2010, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750 "2010-03-17T13:17:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/241 "2010-03-19T16:55:59Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > _snip_ > > And since drawing lengthy inferences from single data points is apparently the new sport, my inference is that after receiving **Sleeps’** PM **Marley** threw a dancing shitfit around his apartment screaming incoherently about how everybody must “RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH, DAMMIT, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND I AM AN ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING DOPE MODE!!!” then fruitlessly attempted to link **Sleeps’** IP with that of another poster before figuring out a suspension is all he could get away with. > > But of course, that’s just MY inference, and unlike some people **I know how much it’s worth.** Bolding mine. It’s worth a pound of comedy gold it is. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/242 "2010-03-19T17:02:32Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The gist of it was, “Don’t throw claims of harassment around lightly, because we will take them all seriously.” And if \*\*Sleeps \*\*came to ATMB with an accusation that Marley was harassing her, she absolutely should have been dealt with for making such a frivolous claim. **But she didn’t.** ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/243 "2010-03-19T17:15:43Z")
Well, really. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/244 "2010-03-19T17:16:34Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > And if \*\*Sleeps \*\*came to ATMB with an accusation that Marley was harassing her, she absolutely should have been dealt with for making such a frivolous claim. **But she didn’t.** EXACTLY. I don’t see why folks in this thread don’t get that. She was never allowed to complain. She was suspended for (allegedly) \*threatening \*to complain. And that allegation hangs by the thinnest if threads. Frankly, I don’t see it at all. But even if she did threaten to complain, **Marley** ’s response should have been to direct her to ATMB. The forum specifically set aside FOR COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE BOARD. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/245 "2010-03-19T17:25:34Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > As I said before in this thread, the stated position of the Straight Dope is to take claims of harassment very seriously. Someone (I think it was **TubaDiva** ) said just that at some point within the last year (I tried to find the post but I was unsuccessful - maybe someone remembers the situation better than I do). The gist of it was, “Don’t throw claims of harassment around lightly, because we will take them all seriously.” _facepalm_ Yeah, you go right ahead and keep saying that while the point sails above your head. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/246 "2010-03-19T17:54:15Z")
[Today’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11519429&postcount=124) [180°](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11504205&postcount=22) brought to you by the way back machine. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/247 "2010-03-19T18:47:46Z")
I’m older and wiser now. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/248 "2010-03-19T21:25:21Z")
The correct response to the harassment comment was “Yeah, ok. Whatever.” It’s tiring, really, to watch the Mods make up their own rules… “Don’t piss this one off!”, “Don’t win an argument with that one!”, “Show proper respect, damn you!” I could just not pay it any attention. I mean, it’s _only_ a messageboard, right? But then, somebody might decide to paint a target on my back, and my back doesn’t want a target painted on it. I could just leave, not come here anymore. But the board’s sometimes fun and it’s sometimes interesting. I guess I could just consider that the price for the fun for the interesting material is having Staff who make up ludicrous rationales, but that just seems wrong. So no, I won’t be doing any of that. What I _will_ be doing is working roots. That’s right. For every frivolous warning and unwarranted suspension, I’ll be tossing another chicken foot into the pot. Won’t be long before y’all come around to seeing things the right way. It’s past time for some conjure. ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/249 "2010-03-19T22:53:41Z")
Just gotta throw this into the mix…they hate me anyway… Ad from the Snackpit: “At least OUR moderators don’t sleep around.” I lolled. ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/250 "2010-03-19T22:58:48Z")
Hey! I said cunt a bunch of times and got suspended for a month. Sleeps got knocked off for a week. Now what would have happened if she had called Marley a worthless cunt? In a PM? Bannination for life? Keelhauling? It’s nothing but the same old bullshit of the mods making shit up as they go along and never, EVER backing down from a dumbass decision. ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/251 "2010-03-19T23:08:19Z")
And just for all you Mod apologists, go take a look at the Giraffe Boards and see exactly how your beloved modmins act outside the sacred halls of hte SDMB community. Nothing new but worth noting anyway. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/252 "2010-03-19T23:37:37Z")
Again, I’ll ask, why are the moderators here incapable of consistency in their decisions? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/253 "2010-03-19T23:52:35Z")
Because they’re people, and people aren’t consistent. ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/254 "2010-03-19T23:53:52Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Because they’re people, and people aren’t consistent. Understandable, but rules should be consistent. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/255 "2010-03-20T07:19:44Z")
> [@Xploder](#): > > Understandable, but rules should be consistent. If you think of the mods as referees in any sport, the current application of the rules is perfectly understandable too. Some mods are like young triple A refs that got called up to the pros because of an illness or something. Others have played all their long lives and ref’ed at the higher levels for years. It’s no surprise that a wet behind the ears and eager to prove himself mod like Marley blew the whistle quick and loud when he was being “tested”. And IMHO, as someone who knows a little about “testing” the mods, that’s exactly what Sleeps was doing. Don’t think she needed a suspension so much as Marley just saying “fuck you”, but I’m not the Commissioner around here. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/256 "2010-03-20T09:40:07Z")
I can’t be certain of **Sleeps** mindset or motives. A year ago she jumped to some conclusions about my motives and she was so wrong. She judges too quickly. Maybe she did that with **Marley**. That still doesn’t excuse what **Marley** did. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/257 "2010-03-20T22:59:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Sleepies > … > Remembering that he has a history of continuing to PM people over and over and over again I sent a PM back that said “Do not PM me again. If you do I will consider it harassment” So, let me get this straight, Marley reacted to something that Sleeps didn’t actually say when she was reacting to something that Marley hadn’t actually done. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/258 "2010-03-22T16:35:50Z")
Aaaaaaand still no mods or admins have been back to address the very valid point that Sleeps “threatened” to do something she’s entirely allowed to do. I’m not _angry_, SDMB staff… I’m _disappointed in you_. :sad concerned Mom face: ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/259 "2010-03-22T17:38:17Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Aaaaaaand still no mods or admins have been back to address the very valid point that Sleeps “threatened” to do something she’s entirely allowed to do. > > I’m not _angry_, SDMB staff… I’m _disappointed in you_. :sad concerned Mom face: Well what are they supposed to say? “Instead of interpreting her words to mean what they said, we interpreted them to mean something far more dire, that is, that she would complain, which would be totally unacceptable in this particular situation, but is acceptable in others, as evidenced by the jillions of complaint threads in ATMB. Hope that clears things up for ya.” ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750/260 "2010-03-22T17:41:55Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Well what are they supposed to say? “After careful consideration, we’ve decided that you’re right and we overreacted. \*\*Sleeps \*\*has been unbanned and given an apology, and we will endeavor to learn from this experience and not make the same mistake again.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-ill-ask-being-a-jerk-via-pm/532750.md?page=14)