# All right, wiseacres! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 1999, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068 "1999-11-19T01:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/1 "1999-11-19T01:14:00Z")
This is directed at Polycarp, WallyM7, Satan and others like them (OK, like us) who drop a quick witticism into a thread. Have you ever decided not to? Not because it isn’t funny, or because the thread is too serious. I mean when it’s a really good one, and doesn’t detract unnecessarily detract from the topic, but you’re concerned that it might be taken the wrong way. If you don’t normally do the quick-joke post, has there ever been a time when you really wanted to, but demurred? **Well, drop it off here. Let the other SDMBers try to figure out where it belongs!** I’ve got one, but I’m only gonna post it if this thread gets some response. * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/2 "1999-11-19T01:18:00Z")
Yes. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/3 "1999-11-19T01:19:00Z")
I will go to my grave embarrassed that I didn’t see that one coming. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/4 "1999-11-19T01:26:00Z")
Yep. I used to be too quick on the trigger. I think I’ve toned it down simply because a lot of times it wasn’t funny after all. And even if it was, it was out of place. I still get the urge, but I manage to overcome it. Most of the time. 🙂 * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/5 "1999-11-19T01:34:00Z")
As an example, in the “earth is flat” I was sorely tempted to tell Phaedrus that evolution does not apply in his case, but I was afraid he would take that as an endorsement of his stance. Whatever that stance is. ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/6 "1999-11-19T01:55:00Z")
…and so the rabbi said “For a nickel I will!” * * * “My hovercraft is full of eels.” ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/7 "1999-11-19T02:26:00Z")
I’ve started to smart off a couple of times and then deleted it. As a newbie, there’s still a little trepidation there. But I’ll get over it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/8 "1999-11-19T03:05:00Z")
After Konrad posted this little bon mot in the BBQ pit, reffering to Diane, > [@](#): > > Listen jiggles, what say you and your little dyke friends swing by my house for dick tonight. Does that answer your question? I was going to write: > [@](#): > > Listen Konrad, what say you swing by my house tonight for a strap-on up the ass? > > Signed, Diane’s little dyke friend. I didn’t, though. It was kind of lame, it didn’t add anything to the debate, such as it was, and I figured there wasn’t any point in provoking him into any further diatribes. Don’t feed the trolls, as it were. But it shows that, although it doesn’t always look like it, I usually think carefully about what I’m going to post. * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![Kanooka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@Kanooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kanooka)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/9 "1999-11-19T03:30:00Z")
Fear the midget with a breadstick. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/10 "1999-11-19T04:24:00Z")
She and I are fightin’ over him. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/11 "1999-11-19T05:30:00Z")
Well, to answer this question giving it a tad more brevity than most would give it, I think that my ratio of smart-ass drive-bys is not out of proportion with posts oof significant length and attemps at actual conversation. And in my world, attempting to make people laugh and attempting to give something back to a board I take a lot from are of equal importance to me. If my ratio is out-of-wack, please let me know. I do not want to be just the “class clown” here. I’ll leave that to Wally! (DOH! 😃 ) * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/12 "1999-11-19T05:37:00Z")
The Guy Stuff thread has done wonders in satisfying my urge to drop one-liners where they won’t do any good. It’s a great place to blow off steam. Thanks UncleBeer! …and then the nun said… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/13 "1999-11-19T11:00:00Z")
No, I’ve never refrained from posting a wise-ass remark that was off topic or slighlty insulting. ## So… how d’y’all think I’m doing in terms of SmartAlecNess ? 😉 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/14 "1999-11-19T11:42:00Z")
So far I haven’t made nearly as many wisecracks as I do in real life, because A) they don’t always come of as well typed, and B) I was new, so I didn’t want to be thought of as a troll. Now that I’m just about comfortable making smartass remarks to those that need 'em, she had to go dump Satan. Timing. It’s all in the timing. ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/15 "1999-11-19T12:44:00Z")
And off to the right ladies and gentlemen you will see Wiseacres, the estate of the illustrious poster manhattan. Next up the World Trade Center. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/16 "1999-11-19T13:14:00Z")
Quote Satan: > [@](#): > > Don’t mind me… Just thought I’d see how the other half lives! I waited all day for you to post that in the unpopular posters thread. I’m glad you finally did. The problem with being a wiseacre is you can become predictable. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/17 "1999-11-19T15:28:00Z")
**Satan** : > [@](#): > > If my ratio is out-of-wack, please let me know. Not at all! But I just bet you’ve got one or two drive-bys that you didn’t drop. I created this thread so “orphaned” witticisms could find a home. Here’s mine: It’s been my experience that the people who most object to the use of the term “babe” are, well, babes. P.S. to **Satan** : I still have your package, I just haven’t got to a post office. I hope this weekend. * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/18 "1999-11-19T15:32:00Z")
I have an eleven inch penis. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/19 "1999-11-19T15:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I have an eleven inch penis. Really, whose? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/20 "1999-11-19T15:37:00Z")
Not sure…lemme just read the tag, here. It was a PUNCH LINE, TS. You’re supposed ta figure out which THREAD I was gonna put it in! Sheesh, read the damn OP. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068.md?page=2)