# All right, wiseacres! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 1999, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068 "1999-11-19T01:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/41 "1999-11-19T22:57:00Z")
I also don’t proofread as often as I should… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/42 "1999-11-19T23:03:00Z")
Just do what I do Doc Jack. Proofread everyone else’s posts. Then they’ll do your’s for you. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 1999, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/43 "1999-11-19T23:20:00Z")
Nope…never changed my mind about posting coz of what I wanted to say. I am a pro at sticking my foot in my mouth or getting people pissed at me for being sarcastic… don’t think a message board is gonna change what years of real life abuse hasn’t. Then again maybe I should just delete this…NOT! * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/44 "1999-11-20T16:28:00Z")
To actually answer the OP: “Hitler used to think that way, too…” As a joke. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/45 "1999-11-20T23:48:00Z")
I totally missed the point of the OP, folks. But I have a good reason - I seem to never be able to stop myself from committing a drive-by as I call them, so since I am an addict, there is no unfulfilled posting from me. You think I’m around 1900 posts by being demure? 🙂 * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/46 "1999-11-22T21:46:00Z")
Sorry I’m late on this one, I was home with a tummy-ache. As someone who’s a lifetime sufferer from Weisenheimer’s Ddisease, I have a terrible time not bustin’ in with smart-ass remarks. But–since discovering that three or four Board members are severely humor-impaired–I have stifled myself. And Ike, if you didn’t bring enough for everyone in class to play with, please put that thing away. –Flora [politely averting her eyes] ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 1999, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/47 "1999-11-24T01:29:00Z")
I’m dropping this here because it was too easy to put it in the thread where it belongs, but I still feel the need. Equally importantly, after you have touched those peppers, _do not slice your penis!_ ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 1999, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/48 "1999-11-24T01:53:00Z")
Like my previous posting, this is ever so slightly off topic, but… Just the other night, I was in the GQ, and reading the thread about the woman who did most of the female voices on South Park. I hit reply, and typed “Oh my god! They killed Mary! You bastards!” Then I hit “Clear Fields”. I may not be able to resist a cheap shot, but that’s a little _too_ cheap. It just goes to show, if you think my one-liners are bad, you should see the ones I don’t post. * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/49 "1999-12-09T23:56:00Z")
OK, I don’t want to pick on Phaedrus, but I had to resist this one. In the “Great Debates” thread [The earth is flat, I read in the paper…](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000488.html), aka the longest SDMB thread ever, Phaedrus said yesterday (12-08-1999 11:51 PM) > [@](#): > > I have enough (native american blood) to hold land on a reservation and legally eat Peyote The mind boggles at the possible retorts. So far, no one has used it. * * * Quand les talons claquent, l’esprit se vide. Maréchal Lyautey ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/50 "1999-12-10T00:17:00Z")
I’ll tell you this, Arnold, Hell will have been frozen over for 10,000 years before Phaedrus eats this Peyote. Good god, what a horrible thought. I think I’m going to have to go to a tavern tonight. Oh, the horror, the horror. * * * The Coyote gnaws … but he does not swallow. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/51 "1999-12-11T00:19:00Z")
That, plus asparagus. ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/52 "1999-12-11T00:33:00Z")
Hmm. Am I a wiseass or just blunt? Donät know. I do have a solution to things I donät want to say under my _primary_ board name. I use the other one. ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/53 "1999-12-11T00:35:00Z")
And then ONCE, just once I slipped that ä for ’ under the fake name. I use two keyboards and forget to switch. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/54 "1999-12-11T00:50:00Z")
The world can always use a wise crack. The more experience the better. * * * I’m only your wildest fear, from the corners of your darkest thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/55 "1999-12-11T00:57:00Z")
Did you know that the First Congress banned members from eating asparagus. I think this was in the Straight Dope. Reguardless thats the facts Jack. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/56 "1999-12-11T01:49:00Z")
I wanted a pony. Meanwhile, Cecil combats ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/57 "1999-12-13T03:01:00Z")
Another good man down the drain…heehee! ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 1999, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/58 "1999-12-15T06:56:00Z")
…was wearing… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/59 "1999-12-14T19:20:00Z")
elelle, ouch. That’s a classic. * * * “There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.” ~P.J. O’Rourke~ ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068/60 "1999-12-14T20:10:00Z")
There are a few times I wish I could undo a post I just sent out, but I am usually content with making an attempt to elicit a laugh from someone. But then again, I may just be trying to artifically inflate my number of posts due to my extreme competitiveness and a need to post more than anyone else. * * * Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-right-wiseacres/12068.md?page=4)