# All rise (?)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-rise/1883
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [June 19, 1999, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-rise/1883 "1999-06-19T15:59:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 9, 1999, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-rise/1883/41 "1999-07-09T20:08:00Z")
Sorry, Tigs. The personal profiles on this MB are so damn vague, and I couldn’t check the TM Homepage since it’s down right now. 🙂
An aside:
The word of the day is MISDIRECTION.
“This mornining - after my girlfriend had already gone to work - I woke up with a _major_ woody. Later, I called my girlfriend and told her about it. She was pissed. She hates to hear about a MISDIRECTION.”
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 9, 1999, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-rise/1883/42 "1999-07-09T20:10:00Z")
Although I guess I could’ve checked your homepage!
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 9, 1999, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-rise/1883/43 "1999-07-09T23:25:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> So I ask you guys… “why?”
My theory on the split-stream is that the inside of your pants is a dark, humid, and often compacted place. You know how, if you sit down shirtless on a leather couch for a long period of time, you tend to stick to the leather when you get up? The same thing happens to the skin around the urethra. This pinched-off exit causes the familiar split-stream.
As for morning wood… the Morning Wood Fairy brings it. Don’t you people watch Beavis and Butthead?
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“If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading” --Quid’s Theorem
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 10, 1999, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-rise/1883/44 "1999-07-10T02:46:00Z")
HAHAHAHA…nooo problem Strainger. It was an innocent “misdirection” 🙂
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Risk looking foolish for love, for your dreams, and for the joy of living…
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