Sorry, Tigs. The personal profiles on this MB are so damn vague, and I couldn’t check the TM Homepage since it’s down right now. 
An aside:
The word of the day is MISDIRECTION.
“This mornining - after my girlfriend had already gone to work - I woke up with a major woody. Later, I called my girlfriend and told her about it. She was pissed. She hates to hear about a MISDIRECTION.”
Although I guess I could’ve checked your homepage!
My theory on the split-stream is that the inside of your pants is a dark, humid, and often compacted place. You know how, if you sit down shirtless on a leather couch for a long period of time, you tend to stick to the leather when you get up? The same thing happens to the skin around the urethra. This pinched-off exit causes the familiar split-stream.
As for morning wood… the Morning Wood Fairy brings it. Don’t you people watch Beavis and Butthead?
“If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading” --Quid’s Theorem
HAHAHAHA…nooo problem Strainger. It was an innocent “misdirection”
Risk looking foolish for love, for your dreams, and for the joy of living…