# All straight people please answer these questions?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2000, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424 "2000-03-03T08:32:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dandmb50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@Dandmb50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandmb50)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/1 "2000-03-03T08:32:00Z")
One of my friends sent this to me… I thought the majority of you would appreciate it 🙂 Heterosexual Questionnaire 1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality? 2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual? 3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of? 4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex? 5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay/lesbian lover? 6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react? 7. Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your lifestyle? 8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet? 9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face? 10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers? 11. Even with all the societal support marriage receives the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals? 12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex? 13. Considering the problem of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you? 14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own leanings? 15. How can you become a stable person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive, heterosexuality, and fail to develop your natural, healthy homosexual potential? 16. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed which enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy? Did this open your eyes at all?? * * * Please feel free to email me. I’m not conceited, I’m convinced! [Dandmb50@aol.com](mailto:Dandmb50@aol.com) The only stupid question is the one YOU do not ask !! [http://members.aol.com/dandmb50/1.html](http://members.aol.com/dandmb50/1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/2 "2000-03-03T13:53:00Z")
Moderator…we need your official ruling here! (One vote for moving this post from General Q’s.) ---
**Author:** ![Yankee\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7ea924/32.png) [@Yankee\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yankee_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/3 "2000-03-03T13:56:00Z")
Two votes. * * * All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/4 "2000-03-03T14:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Jinx: > **Moderator…we need your official ruling here! (One vote for moving this post from General Q’s.)** Survey Says… Bxxxxt. Off to MPSIMS. * * * [Change Your Password, Please](http://204.95.48.199/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ubbmisc.cgi?action=getannounce&ForumNumber=3&Start=2451545.99&End=2451911&Session=2451598.1854) and don’t use HTML, as it has been disabled ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/5 "2000-03-03T15:41:00Z")
Well I, for one, thought it was pretty damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/6 "2000-03-03T16:41:00Z")
Actually, I had the honor and good fortune to be published in a journal the entirety of which was devoted to exactly that question. Heterosexuality, a **Feminism and Psychology** Reader, (Sage:1993), pp. 150-168 Online copy of the article, should you wish to explore, is available @ [http://home.earthlink.net/~ahunter/Same\_Closet\_Diff\_Door/hpsissy.html](http://home.earthlink.net/~ahunter/Same_Closet_Diff_Door/hpsissy.html) * * * Disable Similes in this Post ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/7 "2000-03-03T17:30:00Z")
I don’t think much of it because about every 1000th time a hearing person asks me if I’ve always been deaf I reply, ‘have you always been hearing?’ Most people are neither all gay or all straight anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dandmb50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@Dandmb50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandmb50)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/8 "2000-03-04T00:55:00Z")
any other comments from the teeming millions? * * * Please feel free to email me. I’m not conceited, I’m convinced! [Dandmb50@aol.com](mailto:Dandmb50@aol.com) The only stupid question is the one YOU do not ask !! [http://members.aol.com/dandmb50/1.html](http://members.aol.com/dandmb50/1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/9 "2000-03-04T01:03:00Z")
I remember seeing this somewhere a few years ago. I think it’s so funny. I consider myself to be very open-minded, but I admit that when I read that I got a little hint of what kind of treatment homosexuals must get in their daily lives. ---
**Author:** ![Dandmb50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@Dandmb50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandmb50)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/10 "2000-03-07T04:58:00Z")
I really think everyone should take this questionaire, so you understand how others feel… * * * Please feel free to email me. I’m not conceited, I’m convinced! [Dandmb50@aol.com](mailto:Dandmb50@aol.com) The only stupid question is the one YOU do not ask !! [http://members.aol.com/dandmb50/1.html](http://members.aol.com/dandmb50/1.html) Remember it’s nice to be important but important to be nice. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/11 "2000-03-07T05:02:00Z")
Ah, yes. I have something of a passing familiarity with that test. I love to watch people’s reactions after they’ve read the first few questions. Some laugh and shrug it off, some get outraged, but some keep reading with a thoughtful expression… Whoever came up with that test is a certified genius by my estimation. * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/12 "2000-03-07T05:03:00Z")
This is obviously a part of the homosexual agenda. We must stop the spread of it immediately. Won’t someone please think of the children? BTW, thanks for opening my eyes to what you have to put up with when gay. * * * It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-straight-people-please-answer-these-questions/14424/13 "2000-03-07T06:08:00Z")
The point is well taken, but I’ve seen the gag so many times before. Personally, I’ve never seen anyone ask the kinds of questions the list makes fun of without getting _tore into_. If it makes you feel any better, straights sometimes do put up with inquiries just this silly. There are feminists who will insist that women who choose to be heterosexual do not have any choice at all. Straights are often told that their expressions of heterosexual desire are attempts to distract themselves from their own repressed homosexual desires. Both of these would sound pretty silly if they were turned around.