# "All the Girls in France Do the Hoochie-Coochie Dance" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 14, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304 "2003-11-14T20:31:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/21 "2003-11-15T01:47:44Z")
_There’s a place in France Where the ladies wear no pants And the men all stare 'Cause they don’t wear underwear There’s a whole in the wall Where the men can see it all_ Apparently my community was too uptight to come right out and say that the ladies were naked. (That reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me. She was working at a camp for kids with Attention Deficit Disorder. One day one of the kids started pitching a fit and had to be restrained, and he just went ballistic. He was kicking and screaming every cuss word he could think of, “Shit! Fuck! Damn!” and more; she told me he was quickly able to run through just about every one even she’d heard. Eventually he ran out of curses and just stopped sputtering, realizing he wasn’t going to be able to break free, then finally exploded with the most profane possible thing he could think of: “_Naked lady! Naked lady! Naked lady!_”) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/22 "2003-11-15T03:57:16Z")
This reminds me of a book called something like “Green Grimy Gopher Guts”. Well worth reading. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/23 "2003-11-15T04:02:33Z")
We sang it as: _From the land of Mars where the lady smokes cigars Every puff she makes is enough to kill a snake When the snake has died they put diamonds in his eyes When the diamonds shine it is 1999_ ---
**Author:** ![teleute12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@teleute12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teleute12)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/24 "2003-11-15T06:34:15Z")
When we sang it as kids, the hole in the wall was where _you_ could see it all. We were quite sure that we were being very naughty. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/25 "2003-11-15T07:51:29Z")
Ok, I guess I have a unusual variation… “Oh they don’t wear pants on the other side of France But they do wear grass to cover up there ass.” Except the kids I knew would spell out A-S-S…and then squeal and roll around on the floor at fliting so closely with depravity… ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/26 "2003-11-16T01:44:58Z")
My grandfather sings it as follows: “Oh, they don’t wear pants On the sunny side of France And the dance they do Is enough to make you chew.” (Or alternately, “Is enough to kill a Jew.”) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/27 "2003-11-16T05:31:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mobo85 \* > \*\*My grandfather sings it as follows: > > “Oh, they don’t wear pants > On the sunny side of France > And the dance they do > Is enough to make you chew.” (Or alternately, “Is enough to kill a Jew.”) \*\* . . . And thus comes to light a hitherto unknown aspect of the Vichy regime’s atrocities . . . ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/28 "2003-11-16T15:05:44Z")
I must admit to being aware of only the version of the song which imparted homicidal capabilities on the women’s dances which would only cause the demise of Semitic peoples. Children in my community in rural Mississippi in the 60s weren’t likely to have ever met or seen a Jew, I know that I hadn’t, and I’m not sure that we really knew what we were singing. I like the other versions much better. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/29 "2003-11-16T15:30:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TeaElle \* > \*\*I must admit to being aware of only the version of the song which imparted homicidal capabilities on the women’s dances which would only cause the demise of Semitic peoples. Children in my community in rural Mississippi in the 60s weren’t likely to have ever met or seen a Jew . . . \*\* Well, they _might_ have, if your community hadn’t taken in all those French ladies after WWII . . . ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/30 "2003-11-16T16:07:01Z")
There’s a place in France, where they do the hula dance And the way they shake is enough to kill a snake when the snake is dead, they put diamonds in his head red, purple, blue, and orange & yellow too when the diamonds break, it is 1988! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/31 "2003-11-16T16:15:22Z")
**pizzabrat** and **Guin** seem to have heard variants of the song I’m used to. Wonder what the common connection is. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/32 "2003-11-16T17:15:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\ ***pizzabrat** and **Guin** seem to have heard variants of the song I’m used to. > > Wonder what the common connection is. \*\* . . . Apparently, that when French ladies remove either their undergarments or all of their clothing and do the “hoochie-coochie dance,” it proves fatal to reptiles and/or Jews. The only way to arm yourself against them, it seems, is to chew your underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/33 "2003-11-16T19:57:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cher3 \* > \*\*There a place in France/ > Where the alligators dance/ > But the one wouldn’t dance/ > So they shot him in the pants/ > And the pants that he wore/ > Cost $1.64/ > Plus tax. \*\* This is the one I grew up with, except the pants cost $1.94. ---
**Author:** ![leafrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cab0a1/32.png) [@leafrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leafrog)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/34 "2003-11-16T21:37:55Z")
This is too funny…growing up in Oregon in the 70s, the version I heard/sang was a mix of all of these, but I haven’t seen this particular version here yet: There’s a place called France Where the ladies wear no pants. But the men don’t care, 'Cause they smoke their underwear. I was never sure whose underwear was being smoked… ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/35 "2003-11-17T04:19:00Z")
Origin of the OP song: [http://www.gildedserpent.com/articles3/streets-of-cairo.htm](http://www.gildedserpent.com/articles3/streets-of-cairo.htm) Other schoolyard ditties: [http://www.tikifish.com/schoolyard.html](http://www.tikifish.com/schoolyard.html) ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/36 "2003-11-19T15:11:38Z")
Wow, I just found a variation in a profile of Scottish comedian Billy Connolly in the November 17th **New Yorker**. > [@](#): > > With the Parachute Regiment of the Territorial Army, in which he enlisted in 1962…[Connolly] was renowned for leaping onto tables to do the “Dance of the Flaming Arseholes,” a barroom competition to see who could last the longest with a lighted newspaer in his butt. Amid paratroopers chanting, “Oh the girls in France / Take their knickers down and dance,” Connolly was the undefeated champion. ---
**Author:** ![Breezy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@Breezy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breezy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/37 "2003-11-19T15:47:38Z")
There’s a place in France Where the alligators dance. If you’re not careful they will bite you in the pants. OY! ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/38 "2003-11-19T16:20:16Z")
**Eve** , I just read your Vichy regime comment and spat orange juice all over my keyboard. Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had all week. Even if I do need a new keyboard now. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/39 "2003-11-19T16:27:06Z")
If another keyboard is ruined, my job here is done. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/40 "2003-11-19T17:20:45Z")
Overall, I would say “Ladies, Dance Naked and Kill Them” is not so bad as “Go take a shower!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304.md?page=3)