# "All the Girls in France Do the Hoochie-Coochie Dance" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 14, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304 "2003-11-14T20:31:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/61 "2010-09-06T01:43:13Z")
Me three. I was giddy for a second, then said, Oh, probably a zombie. Boy, we all miss Eve! ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/62 "2010-09-06T03:23:12Z")
**Eve**? Oh. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/63 "2010-09-06T03:25:19Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > And on seeing this thread, I thought **Eve** was back. ☹ Yeah, me too. Damn. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/64 "2010-09-06T03:44:12Z")
permit me to post a most illogical version… “There’s a place in France where the ladies jump and dance, And the men walk around with their wing-wongs hanging down…” Down? _DOWN?_ even at 13 I knew they should be UP! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/65 "2010-09-06T05:01:57Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > We’re no longer automatically closing zombie threads, so I’ll leave this open for now. Yes, but a message to any newbies who happen into this thread. Don’t mess with Eve. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/66 "2010-09-07T08:44:40Z")
I always thought it was “but the men don’t care / Cause they’re wearing underwear.” As in, the men can see the “naked” ladies dancing through the hole in the wall, but the naked ladies turn out to be falsely advertised - they’re actually wearing underwear. So the men end up not caring about looking through the hole in the wall. I dunno. It made sense to me when I was 8. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/67 "2010-09-07T17:27:32Z")
The one version I recall (from the early 1960s) that hasn’t been cited yet was: All the girls in France Wear tissue-paper pants, But the boys don’t care, 'Cause they’re guaranteed to tear. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/68 "2010-09-07T18:43:04Z")
Courtesy of my mother-in-law: “Oh, they wear no pants in the hootchie-cootchie dance” Unfortunately, that’s as much as she knows of that version. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/69 "2010-09-07T18:54:48Z")
You guys had all the fun. We sang, “Davy, Davy Crocket. King of the wild frontier.” Didn’t think about France too much. Except for “I see London. I see France. I see \_\_\_\_\_\_'s underpants.” ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/70 "2010-09-07T19:53:01Z")
What I learned: “There’s a place in France Where the ladies do a dance And the way they shake Is enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead They put roses in its head When the roses die They put diamonds in its eye When the diamonds turn to glass They put silver up its ass When the silver falls out They begin to scream and shout.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/71 "2010-09-07T20:36:16Z")
Fortunately, since this thread was started, [KeSha has settled the question](http://www.metrolyrics.com/take-it-off-lyrics-kesha.html) of the definitive lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/72 "2010-09-08T12:59:23Z")
The version I (vaguely) remember from a Glaswegian childhood was: “All the girls in Spain, wash their knickers in champagne, All the boys in France, do the hula hula dance, And the dance they do, is enough to tie a shoe, And the shoe they tie, is enough to tell a lie, And the lie they tell, is enough to ring a bell, And the bell they ring, goes ding a ling a ling!” ---
**Author:** ![Shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/73 "2010-09-08T15:12:15Z")
Here’s the version I learned from my neighbor some time in the 70’s There’s a place in France Where the ladies do a dance And the dance that they do Was written by a Jew And the Jew didn’t know how to dance So they shot him in the pants And the pants that he wore Cost a $1.94 [basso profundo] plus tax [/basso profundo] ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/74 "2010-09-08T15:25:32Z")
I’m surprised not to see the version we sang as kids. It’s much shorter than what you all have here: All the girls in France Don’t wear any underpants When they climb the pole You can see their hiney-hole. ---
**Author:** ![StivittheBlivit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@StivittheBlivit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StivittheBlivit)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/75 "2011-12-13T03:54:53Z")
I am joining this “conversation” a few years late & I also must have sung this song many years before all of you did. When I was a kid & sang the song we sang: All the girls in France Do the hula hula dance And the way they shake it’s enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead they put diamonds in its’ head When the diamonds are gone they put rubies in its’ eyes When the rubies are gone it is 1969! Thus you know can extrapolate this song was around since at least the early 1960’s. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/76 "2011-12-13T15:44:46Z")
There’s a place called Mars where the women smoke cigars and the men there wear bikinis and the children drink martinis there’s a place called Mars… UT ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/77 "2011-12-13T15:55:11Z")
What’s with all the Jew-killing? Should I stay the heck away from naked French ladies? I only heard the song once, in camp, and I only remember fragments. In the land of Mars Where the (babies?) (ladies?) smoke cigars And the boys wear bikinis And the (girls?) (Babies?) something something… And then I’m pretty sure there was something about snake with glass in its eye, and the year 1999. Even though I only heard it that once, the tune captivated me for years. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/78 "2011-12-13T17:53:43Z")
[A parallel thread on same the topic.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=577136) ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/79 "2011-12-13T18:01:36Z")
Eight years and two zombifications, and I still haven’t seen the version I knew in grade school: \*There’s a place on Mars where the ladies smoke cigars The cigars they smoke are enough to tell a joke And the joke they tell is enough to take a pill And the pill they take is enough to fry a snake And the snake they fry is enough to tell a lie And the lie they tell is enough to go to \* (here the tune changes) _Hell-o Operator, get me number nine And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick your fat Behind the (something something) on a piece of broken glass Little Orphan Annie fell right on her Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies!_ ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304/80 "2011-12-13T18:27:29Z")
> [@bughunter](#): > > You mean this one? > > - Miss Lucy had a steamboat > The steamboat had a bell > Miss Lucy went to heaven > The steamboat went to > HELL-o operator > Give me number nine > If you disconnect me > I’ll kick your big be- > HIND the frigerator > There was a piece of glass > Miss Lucy fell upon it > And cut her big ol’ > ASS me no more questions > Tell me no more lies > The boys are in the bathroom > zipping up their > FLIES are in the meadow > The bees are in the park > Miss Lucy and her boyfriend > Are kissing in the dark…\* > > Gawd, I’m ashamed I remember that much… > > I’m going to be a terrible influence on my children. 🆒 That reminded me of [this performance.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgvihRmyd5o) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-the-girls-in-france-do-the-hoochie-coochie-dance/213304.md?page=5)