# All these years, I've been crapping the wrong way! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020 "2002-04-16T21:27:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/21 "2002-04-17T04:51:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jojo \* > \*\*y’know, I’ve got a theory about this. > > I’ve noticed how people who come from cultures where they use the squat’n’shit method (India, China, Vietnam etc) are often very comfortable squatting without putting their bottom on the floor. They can hold this position for quite long periods without any noticeable strain. > > Western people, on the other hand, could not hold this position for very long without getting tired. \*\* There is a chicken-and-egg problem here. These people don’t necessarily squat to sit because they squat to shit. They may squat to shit because they squat to sit. In those cultures, furniture styles are different. And poorer people won’t have enough chairs to seat each family member. They squat a lot because they have no other option. (Do they squat less as they become wealthier? I don’t know.) Until the 19th century in the U.S., chairs were considered a luxury item, too. Poor people just didn’t have chairs. Colonial Americans squatted an awful lot, too. And I’ll bet they did just fine squatting to poop. ---
**Author:** ![Tsubaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Tsubaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tsubaki)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/22 "2002-04-17T10:51:14Z")
We had a squat toilet in our last house. I had no problem with it…until I was six months pregnant. Then I would squat and wouldn’t be able to get back up again. So we ended up buying a gizmo which fit over the top to turn it into a seat toilet. But everything DOES come out easier when you squat. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/23 "2002-04-17T13:06:03Z")
Did anyone else parse it as Nature Splat Form in the url? ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/24 "2002-04-17T13:14:52Z")
It can keep you from having heart attacks?!? Good God, people, how hard do you push? So… if Elvis had a Nature’s Platform, would he be alive today? ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/25 "2002-04-17T13:28:26Z")
1. I was doing fine until I came to the part about Nature’s Curtain. Then, ze big laffs come. Ha ha! 2. I have never had any problem shitting. Who are these people who can’t shit? 3. What if you fell off mid-crap? 4. If squatting is so important, why not just get a litter tray? ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/26 "2002-04-17T13:35:40Z")
1. I was doing fine until I came to the part about Nature’s Curtain. Then, ze big laffs come. Ha ha! 2. I have never had any problem shitting. Who are these people who can’t shit? 3. What if you fell off mid-crap? 4. If squatting is so important, why not just get a litter tray? ---
**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/27 "2002-04-17T15:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tsubaki \* > \*\*But everything DOES come out easier when you squat. \*\* I’ve heard this position results in much easier delivery than the on the back with legs in stirups position that’s dominant in Western hospitals. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/28 "2002-04-17T15:29:52Z")
I learned to do this when living in Asia. I have IBS and I find this position _much_ more conducive to the ‘job’. Have to spend a long time building up the calf muscles though. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/29 "2002-04-17T15:44:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spritle \* > So… if Elvis had a Nature’s Platform, would he be alive today? No, he just would’ve died of head trauma instead. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/30 "2002-04-17T15:45:49Z")
From the myriad endorsements of said product: “Nature’s Platform has taught me to listen to my muscles which announce the action of elimination.” Megan Lurie McCarver, MA, CMT Maybe this helps answer **Tansu’s** question “Who are these people who can’t shit?” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/31 "2002-04-17T16:27:29Z")
I think there are a lot of people who can’t shit. Look at all the laxatives on the shelf. Perhaps a different position would be good for these people–probably healthier than taking a lot of drugs or whatever. Of course, the Nature Splat Form people can’t just leave it at that–they have to claim that the damn thing also cures heart attacks, athlete’s foot, and the National Debt. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/32 "2002-04-17T16:35:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > **I think there are a lot of people who can’t shit. Look at all the laxatives on the shelf.** And a lot of those who can’t control when they do. Look at all the other stuff on the shelf… 😉 Can you say, “Oops, I crapped my pants?” 😃 Imodium can be a godsend sometimes, especially if you have irritable bowel syndrome, or if you’ve just had an **operation** on your **ass** and are intermittently, uncontrollably dripping liquid cack because they sliced up your sphincter all the while pumping you full of antibiotics that killed all the “good” flora in your GI tract, causing diarrhea and a possible e. coli infection. Don’t ask. No, do you really want to know? I didn’t think so. - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/33 "2002-04-17T22:32:15Z")
I’ve done it both ways, but I prefer a seat. Makes it easier to lose yourself in a book that way. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/34 "2002-04-17T23:40:10Z")
and eat pizza while drinking a mug of coffee. What? ---
**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/35 "2002-04-18T01:22:28Z")
> [@](#): > > poorer people won’t have enough chairs to seat each family member. They squat a lot because they have no other option. (Do they squat less as they become wealthier? I don’t know.) They do have another option, they could just sit on the ground cross-legged. This would take the weight off their calf muscles and is a much less strenuous way to sit. The fact that they _choose_ to sit in a squatting manner suggests that, to them, it’s quite comfortable. It’s not a chicken and egg situation because we know what came first. Before the invention of chairs and toilets we all used the squat’n’shit method. ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/36 "2002-04-18T01:45:06Z")
_cough_ I hate to say it… am I the only one who has instinctively climbed up onto the toilet so I could squat when I needed that little extra push? :o It certainly felt better once I had… whether it helps prevent colon cancer I can’t testify to, but I haven’t gotten it yet. For normal operations, however, sitting is preferable. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/37 "2002-04-18T01:56:38Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Hemlock_ > **(I’ll spare you details on what to do when there’s no toilet tissue).** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*Please fight my ignorance! \*\* Water. ---
**Author:** ![Jibby7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/65b543/32.png) [@Jibby7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jibby7)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/38 "2002-04-18T03:19:29Z")
Ugh, I could just see myself crapping all over my feet using this thing. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/39 "2002-04-18T10:45:13Z")
Yeah, until i scrolled down and saw the guy squatting, I thought “ohh…you sit on it”. Then i scrolled and thought “WTF?” My chief complaint would be the “plopping” that comes after the poop. The splash of water would be bigger, and my ass would get toilet water all over it. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020/40 "2002-04-18T11:56:29Z")
I’ve read doctor’s advice to subcontinental people in the newspapers here to “go Western style” (ie DON’T squat) to avoid knee/joint/hip strain, in cases where people have joint problems or mobility issues. These are usually subcontinental doctors too. And isn’t there a column of Cecil’s… …[hmm no, not quite](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mtoilet.html)… …but I am certain of haveing read somewhere that it’s more dangerous to “hover squat” over a western-style public toilet to avoid contact with the seat that to sit on it. You’re more likely to do yourself joint damage than you are to pick up disease from sitting down. Cecil’s column above in part confirms this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-these-years-ive-been-crapping-the-wrong-way/104020.md?page=3)