# All-time best opening line in a news story

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-best-opening-line-in-a-news-story/827192>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 4, 2019, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-best-opening-line-in-a-news-story/827192 "2019-01-04T13:48:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2019, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-best-opening-line-in-a-news-story/827192/1 "2019-01-04T13:48:24Z")

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The headline is pretty fabulous too, but it’s hard to beat the following sentence as an attention-grabber:

“A murder-for-hire suspect till the end, John Litchfield - the longtime lover of a fellow Galveston cruise ship captain imprisoned for stealing an infant’s identity - has died of mad cow disease in a Friendswood nursing home.”

> **[Galveston mariner suspected in murder-for-hire plot dies of mad cow disease](https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Galveston-mariner-suspected-in-murder-for-hire-13505837.php?fbclid=IwAR1A836OYD0hadwfGY-zDoBEbRjzIPEivXTI92-kvawiU6Dr-bFOrBbH2SQ)**
>
> A murder-for-hire suspect till the end, John Litchfield - the longtime lover of a fellow...

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**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2019, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-best-opening-line-in-a-news-story/827192/2 "2019-01-04T14:15:52Z")

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Gotta admit - it makes me want to read more…

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2019, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-best-opening-line-in-a-news-story/827192/3 "2019-01-04T14:33:55Z")

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The New York Times on September 12, 2001: It kept getting worse.

Sums up the day in four words.

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**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2019, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-best-opening-line-in-a-news-story/827192/4 "2019-01-04T18:08:50Z")

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> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> “A murder-for-hire suspect till the end, John Litchfield - the longtime lover of a fellow Galveston cruise ship captain imprisoned for stealing an infant’s identity - has died of mad cow disease in a Friendswood nursing home.”
> 
> [https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Galveston-mariner-suspected-in-murder-for-hire-13505837.php?fbclid=IwAR1A836OYD0hadwfGY-zDoBEbRjzIPEivXTI92-kvawiU6Dr-bFOrBbH2SQ](https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Galveston-mariner-suspected-in-murder-for-hire-13505837.php?fbclid=IwAR1A836OYD0hadwfGY-zDoBEbRjzIPEivXTI92-kvawiU6Dr-bFOrBbH2SQ)

Great sentence. Positively [Bulwer-Lyttonian](https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/)!