# All-Time Funniest SNL One-Off Sketches **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464 "2009-07-09T15:55:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/21 "2009-07-09T17:43:34Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > _Larry’s Corner_ from back on 10/8/83. > > Brad Hall was the host of a talk show and decided rather than having a celebrity guest he would have some of his old high school friends on the show. > Eddie (Tim Kurzinsky) - The guy who would drink anything. > Dale- The guy who when drinking milk and laughing the milk would come out of his nose. > Jimmy- The guy who could make fart noises under his arm. > > Larry (Brad) introduces them and welcomes them to the show. Dale starts drinking a glass of milk, Jimmy starts making fart noise, milk starts coming out of Dale’s nose, Eddie uses the glass to catch the falling milk and drink it, hilarity ensues, Eddie bypasses the glass and gets down on his knees to catch the milk coming out of Dale’s nose directly into his mouth. > > I also remember this skit ending by being immediately interupted for the “Buckwheat has been shot” story but it appears my memory is wrong. Seconded! No written description can do this justice. Even twenty-six years later, I’ll think of this sketch and laugh. I think Dale was Gary Kroger. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/22 "2009-07-09T17:45:59Z")
The Chippendale’s one is up there. They had a skit on the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings that was an all-timer. The discussion leads from Thomas’ various harassment allegations to favorite porn films, what types of porn are best for seducing women, general hook-up tips (Hartman as Ted Kennedy: “Another way is to get them out on your boat, because then, well, they can’t get away”) and ends with Long Dong Silver as a character witness. Also “Dysfunctional Family Feud” again with Hartman as patriarch of a seething family, and Christian Slater as the rebellious oldest son. Each answer was met with a sarcastic “Oh, Good answer” and pathetic clapping. One question was “Name something you might find in your closet?” Oldest son: “A gun” Dad: “You don’t have the guts, punk” Son: “No, no, it’s there, you’ll see.” Daughter’s (Victoria Jackson, I think) answer: “My Daddy” Dad: Nervous shuffling and trying to laugh it off Plus a bunch of other lines I don’t remember. Great stuff In my list of greatest skits ever, I would bet Hartman is in 75-80% of them. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/23 "2009-07-09T17:48:34Z")
[The Nude House of Wacky People](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/89enude.phtml) [Satan’s Mystique](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93lsatan.phtml): set in Hell, with Patrick Stewart as Satan and David Spade, Norm McDonald, and Rob Schneider as his sarcastic underlings [The Census](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99pcensus.phtml) ([hulu](http://www.hulu.com/watch/4165/saturday-night-live-census-taker)): Census worker Tim Meadows interviews Christopher Walken at his surrealistic best. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/24 "2009-07-09T17:48:53Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I’m kinda partial to the SNL fake commercials. I always liked this one, \*Turlington Tattoo Remover. > > - > > [Redirecting...](http://www.guzer.com/videos/snl_tattoo_removal.php) > > “That tingling lets you know it’s working!” I liked Bass-o-matic and Donuts. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/25 "2009-07-09T17:51:07Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Morning talk show with Will Ferrell and David Allan Grier. They lose their TelePromTer feed and quickly descend into **Lord of the Flies** -style savagery. See, I’d have voted for this one as one of the All-Time Worst SNL One-Off Sketches. My vote for the best would be the Chris Farley motivational-speaker-guy (“In a van, down by the river!”). I think there are a few of these but the one I’m thinking of is when a mom & dad ask him to come to their house to talk some sense into their kids, one of which is played by David Spade. Farley’s doing his thing and Spade can’t contain his laughter, & then Farley does a belly flop onto the coffee table. Good stuff. ETA: And, I just realized that since this was a running skit, it breaks the rule of the thread. Ooopsies. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/26 "2009-07-09T17:52:20Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Seconded! > > No written description can do this justice. Even twenty-six years later, I’ll think of this sketch and laugh. > > I think Dale was Gary Kroger. I always remember Brad Hall yelling “Dale! Dale! No, no Dale!” ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/27 "2009-07-09T17:54:27Z")
My favorite from (somewhat) recent times – Queen Latifah pitching Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/28 "2009-07-09T18:18:01Z")
This one was what is normally a throw-away later sketch in the show, but Christopher Walken as the gardener who puts googly eyes on plants had me laughing harder than anything in recent memory. ---
**Author:** ![Kingspades](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@Kingspades](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kingspades)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/29 "2009-07-09T18:23:22Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > **Massive Head Wound Harry** - Dana Carvey is at a party with a nasty huge open head wound. The hijinks ensue when a dog finds a tasty snack of his brain. This is at least on Hulu: [http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry](http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry) > [@corkboard](#): > > My vote for the best would be the Chris Farley motivational-speaker-guy (“In a van, down by the river!”). I think there are a few of these but the one I’m thinking of is when a mom & dad ask him to come to their house to talk some sense into their kids, one of which is played by David Spade. Farley’s doing his thing and Spade can’t contain his laughter, & then Farley does a belly flop onto the coffee table. Good stuff. What is so funny about these sketches is when the performers start cracking up. It’s those rare “this show is live” moments that to me are the most memorable and the funniest. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/30 "2009-07-09T18:24:15Z")
Jingleheimer Junction. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/31 "2009-07-09T18:25:28Z")
Some of these being mentioned aren’t one-off sketches, but recurring ones. Anyways, the Farley/Swayze Chippendale dance-off is hard to beat. Amy Poehler’s Sarah Palin rap was pretty awesome–especially when the fake Todd Palin shows up in a snowmobile outfit. And I totally lose it when she shoots the moose. I remember a funny _Aliens_ parody they did, with Dennis Miller as the android lying cut-in-half on the floor gushing fluids, and at the end the marines all unload their weapons on the alien that is about to step out of the elevator and it turns out to be… E.T. There was also an old sketch where a character (Dana Carvey?) is putting on some Chapstick and his friend says “Oh, Chapstick! Can I use it?” He obviously is grossed out by the idea, but he reluctantly lets his friend use his chapstick. As the skit progresses, characters with progressively more disgusting mouths keep walking by before he can put it away and ask to use his chapstick, including a dirty homeless guy, a prostitute with sores on her mouth, and culminating with an alien who beams down and has large, disgusting, blistery lips. Another one I remember from those days: It was the first time I had ever seen Penn and Teller and they did a whole sketch where gravity seemed to be reversed–everything 'fell" upward. It was all very clever and of course at the end it’s revealed that both they and the camera were hanging upside down the whole time. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/32 "2009-07-09T18:33:05Z")
The funniest one-off is without a doubt the Chippendale’s tryout. There’s no contest. > [@HeyHomie](#): > > Bonus: the all-time funniest thing ever said on “Weekend Update”: “Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal announced their engagement. They’re registerd at Craate and Baarrell.” That’s not even the funniest thing ever said about their engagement. After he proposed, Sarsgaard went off somewhere to film Jarhead. Which lead to this line in a magazine interview: “After I got engaged, the first thing I did was hang out in the desert for a month naked with her brother.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/33 "2009-07-09T18:34:13Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > **Massive Head Wound Harry** - Dana Carvey is at a party with a nasty huge open head wound. The hijinks ensue when a dog finds a tasty snack of his brain. This is at least on Hulu: [http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry](http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry) “I think he smells my dog!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/34 "2009-07-09T18:35:05Z")
What is that? What is that thing? What is that? Oh! I know what it is… … … What the hell is that? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/35 "2009-07-09T18:42:59Z")
Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary mix. Watching Mr. T standing behind Jane Curtin in a bald wig trying and failing not to laugh killed me. Richard Pryor & Chevy Chase interviewing a janitor & word association. My favorite moment in the Weekend Update has to be back when Anti French hysteria had us renaming French Fries as Freedom Fries, and their line was ’ In a related story, in France, American cheese is now referred to as idiot cheese.’ ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/36 "2009-07-09T18:44:31Z")
There was a recent episode that had a sketch with Zac Effron and Andy Samberg going to a bar that was rumored to not check ID’s. After some banter with the bartender, Samberg says “The crowd here _does_ look a little young.” And the camera cuts to a scene of three pre-teen children at a table, knocking back shots. Later in the sketch… [Bartender brings two drinks to ZE & AS] AS: We didn’t order these. Bartender: They compliments of a couple of ladies. Be careful, those ladies are gerbils? ZE: Gerbils? What are gerbils? Bartender: They’re the opposite of cougars. Camera cuts to two pre-teen girls, smiling and waving at the guys. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/37 "2009-07-09T18:46:40Z")
My favorite is the bush/gore debate from the 2000 election. “lockbox.” ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/38 "2009-07-09T18:47:18Z")
The “Colombian Crystals” sketch, which was a take-off of those commercials where they replace restaurant patrons’ regular coffee with Folger’s, or whatever. They go up to interview Chris Farley, and tell him that they’ve replaced his regular coffee with “Genuine Colombian Crystals” coffee… and he goes COMPLETELY APESHIT. It ends with this tableau, with his arms outstretched as he bellows in rage, and his wife kneeling at his feet weeping, and people running away in the background. (Edited to add: I found [a link to this](http://www.esnips.com/doc/bd2c8cf2-be66-4868-81cf-1e3dfdbcbf46/Chris%20Farley%20-%20Columbian%20Coffee%20Crystals).) I cannot remember ever laughing as hard as I did at this sketch. My favorite Weekend Update line, by the way, was one of Tina Fey’s, right after 9/11. I looked it up online because I couldn’t remember it word-for-word: “On Monday, Attorney General John Ashcroft issued a terrorism warning asking all Americans to be on high alert this week. Then on Friday he announced that the period of high alert will be extended indefinitely. I think I speak for all Americans when I say: Bitch, I can’t BE any more alert than I already am! Okay, I’m opening my mail with salad tongs, I take my passport into the shower with me. I’m watching so much CNN I’m having sex dreams about Wolf Blitzer. How 'bout this: you be on full alert. I’m gonna freeze my head like Walt Disney, and you can wake me up when everything’s cool. Okay?” ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/39 "2009-07-09T18:52:56Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > I remember a funny _Aliens_ parody they did, with Dennis Miller as the android lying cut-in-half on the floor gushing fluids, and at the end the marines all unload their weapons on the alien that is about to step out of the elevator and it turns out to be… E.T. “Okay.. we’ll say he was drunk” -puts bottle of booze in dead ETs hand " and waving a gun around." -puts pistol in dead ETs other hand. Dana Carvey as Bill Paxton “It’s game over man!” ---
**Author:** ![tds1273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@tds1273](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tds1273)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464/40 "2009-07-09T18:56:48Z")
> [@thirdname](#): > > I think it was Jimmy Stewart, not Rich Little. It was on “The Jow Pesci Show.” Yep, good episode all around. Carrey and Meadow’s ‘hot-tub life guard’ sketch was also hilarious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-funniest-snl-one-off-sketches/502464.md?page=3)