All-Time Funniest SNL One-Off Sketches

[CaptMurdock]

My multi-quoted two cents:

@Mehitabel

From 1976: The Godfather Therapy sketch with Belushi and Elliot Gould.

It’s not just Belushi’s Godfather that’s great, it’s Larraine Newman’s proto-Valley Girl Sherry: “She said, ‘Look, the shicsa’s making us a Presbyterian pie!’ Gross me out royal, man!”

@batsto

Dana Carvey was in a skit called “Night of the Masturbating Zombies” which made soda come out my nose while I watched it.

It was “Island of…” and Robert Wagner’s line killed me: “Men, there’s a bunch of zombies running around this island…and they’re ‘punching the munchkin’!”

@Johnny_Q

You Can Pick Your Friends, You Can Pick Your Nose, But You Can’t Pick Your Friend’s Nose.

“Hey! You know the rules!”

@cochrane

Over two years and no one’s mentioned the Douchebags?

Salisbury Manor, 1730.

Harry Shearer as Lord Salisbury hosting a fancy English party and offering chopped steaks to his guests. Bill Murray as the Earl of Sandwich. Garret Morris as a page loudly announcing the guests. “The Duke and Duchess of Arrrrgyllllle!” Buck Henry as Lord Douchebag. “Tell me, Douchebag, what kind of an invention are you sitting on?” “Many’s the time, I’ve heard the King say of your family, and yours, too, Sandwich, ‘Give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag and there is nothing I cannot do.’”

Thirty years on, and this one’s still a classic.

“Lady Douchebag, what kind of dressing would you like on your salad?”
“Oh, just some vinegar and water!”

---

One of my all-time faves: Big Bitch Bull-dyke Bust-Out of 1989, featuring Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker (Rick Moranis and Jan Hooks), Zsa Zsa Gabor (Victoria Jackson) and Leona Helmsley (Nora Dunn). I fell out of my chair.

[Quercus_alba]

And as Life continues to imitate Art…

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/09/07/140266537/yes-its-true-ben-jerrys-introduces-schweddy-balls-ice-cream-flavor?sc=fb&cc=fp

[standingwave]

@Greg_Charles

Another good one is Steve Martin’s, “If I had one wish for this holiday season …” which starts with the children of the world coming together in song, and finally devolves into “revenge against my enemies. They should die like pigs in hell!!!”

*You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can’t think of her name. *

[TBG]

There was another one I liked by Steve Martin about how you could get a million dollars and never pay taxes.

[standingwave]

@TBG

There was another one I liked by Steve Martin about how you could get a million dollars and never pay taxes.

Isn’t that his excuuuuse me routine? You get in trouble for never paying taxes so you say the magic words, “I forgot.” When the authorities continue to give you grief, you say, “excuuuuuse me!!!”

[Suburban_Plankton]

My vote has to go to the Chevy Chase/Richard Pryor Janitor interview sketch.

One that nobody has mentioned yet: The Pepsi Syndrome

[JohnT]

@standingwave

*You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can’t think of her name. *

Doesn’t it end up with Steve saying “Screw the kids! The logistics of getting all those kids together would be a nightmare!” (or something along those lines?)

[Yorikke]

More favorite commercials :

Cookie Dough Gatorade
Uncle Jemima’s Mash Liquor
Oops I crapped my Pants!

Joe

[Thudlow_Boink]

@JohnT

Doesn’t it end up with Steve saying “Screw the kids! The logistics of getting all those kids together would be a nightmare!” (or something along those lines?)

Here’s the transcript.

[standingwave]

@JohnT

Doesn’t it end up with Steve saying “Screw the kids! The logistics of getting all those kids together would be a nightmare!” (or something along those lines?)

The kids get demoted tofifth wish.

[Becky2844]

I saw Kevin Klien portray a Don Juan type with a bad gassy problem. Every few seconds, at the romantic table for two, he farted and tried to “sweep” the evidence away. When he turned his face over his shoulder and just gave a kind of thin-lipped blow, I lost it.
For Weekend Update, everything Gilda Radnor was in.
Never mind.

[Manduck]

Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute: “Skedaddle into that bed, young lady!”.

I’m not a big fan of the cowbell sketch, but it’s impossible not to think of it whenever you hear a song that has cowbell.

[TBG]

Another one I’ll never forget had Phil Hartman playing Charlton Heston doing the book on tape version of Madonna’s Sex book.

Pushy