# All time WORST movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 6, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028 "2003-06-06T06:52:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/141 "2003-06-10T21:36:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nephelium \* > \*\* > > - Planet of the Apes…Another Mark Wahlberg disaster, Charlton Heston must be rolling in his grave. \*\* And him not even dead, too. ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/142 "2003-06-10T21:48:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Bad Voodoo Lou \* > \*\*10. Dreamcatcher. This was like a bad episode of South Park, complete with a ridiculous alien invasion, Morgan Freeman as a crazed black-ops military leader, heroic childhood friends who got super powers from a retarded kid who was really a friendly alien, and monsters that crawled in and out of people’s asses and looked like giant pieces of crap with sharp teeth. \*\* Which, you might be surprised, pretty aptly describes the “shit-weasels” from the book. By the way, thank you for that. I read the book _Dreamcatcher_ with absolute disdain… I consider it King’s worst novel, hands-down. I had intended not to see the movie, because the book was so bad. Then the trailers came out, and I almost wanted to see the movie, because the trailer made it look halfway-decent, and I had a sort of morbid curiosity to see if the movie could actually improve on the book. You make me glad that I never had the chance to blow the money on it. So… thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/143 "2003-06-10T22:07:31Z")
I can’t believe that no-one has mentioned “Night of the Leapus” - a horror movie about **giant radioactive killer bunnies!**. And it is _not_ campy, but dead serious. 😛 Also, has anyone seen “The Terror of Tiny Town”? A Western ‘singing cowboys’ movie - with (I shit you not) an all-dwarf cast. Pure shit-tastic. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/144 "2003-06-10T22:10:51Z")
Chuck Heston was in it, too. He played Tim Roth’s dying father. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/145 "2003-06-10T22:14:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jack@ss \* > \*\*Chuck Heston was in it, too. He played Tim Roth’s dying father. \*\* By “it” I meant Tim Burton’s remake of Planet of the Apes Starring Marky Mark. Damn me straight to hell for not previewing!!! ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/146 "2003-06-11T02:22:50Z")
anyone ever see “The Sweetest Thing” ---
**Author:** ![Zander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecb155/32.png) [@Zander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zander)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/147 "2003-06-11T05:21:32Z")
I know these are both decent movies by decent directors-- great directors, even-- and all the acting was fine and the production values are fine, it’s all fine-- but I could not STAND either AI or Vanilla Sky. Ok, sorry-- there’s spoilers in here. AI was really interesting and cool for the first third, until the little boy gets put out in the wilderness or whatever; then the middle third was OK if you forget the first third and just watch it as a summer “run from here to there while bad people chase us” kind of movie; but the last third, well, it felt like when a four-year-old is telling you a story, and it just never seems to end. "And then, I got in a ship and flew to the submerged city. And then my friend got sucked away. And then I met the guy who made me. And then I jumped off a building. And then I saw a blue fairy. And then I just sat there talking to the goddamn blue fairy for a million years. And then the aliens found me… and so on and so on. I just bugged my eyes out and stared at the screen, not believing that this movie was still going. And it wasn’t even really that long of a movie. I mean, Magnolia (which I loved) was too long, but at least it had a rain of frogs to wake you up at the end and tie it together, but this just killed me. Vanilla Sky looked good, and minute to minute it was well done. I didn’t like the characters, but that doesn’t necessarily ruin the movie. But toward the end, when we start to realize that he’s in some sort of computer-generated dream world, and that he’s been dreaming the last part of the movie, I thought: there wasn’t enough established to allow us to believe that this kind of technology existed, particularly since accepting a major plot point hinges entirely on it. But even then, I thought, all right, so the technology exists. Not very well established, but what are you going to do? Might as well enjoy the rest of the movie. But then we find out his secret and his friends are figments of his imagination, his psychiatrist is his dad and a few other people put together, everyone’s been dead for a hundred years, we all know what’s going on, and the movie still goes on for another 20 minutes! WHY ISN’T THIS MOVIE OVER? TURN OFF THE CAMERA! TURN OFF THE CAMERON! Why do we just keep going on and on and on? I knew it was trouble when Steven Spielberg had a cameo in the main character’s birthday party (I’d seen AI just weeks before). I don’t know. It’s like that guy at a party who likes hearing himself talk. Oh, and please don’t tell me I don’t get Vanilla Sky. I freakin’ get it. They spent the last half hour of that thing explaining it ten times. Got it. Frozen. Dreaming. Tech support. Psychiatrist. Vanilla-colored sky. Got it, got it, got it. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/148 "2003-06-11T11:05:38Z")
I’ll agree with you, Vanilla Sky was awful. I’m also glad someone mentioned Moulon Rouge. I had a friend who always used to drag me to $1.00 movies, he said you can’t go wrong. WRONG! He made me see Gymkata, a martial art gymnist movie and Night of the Comet. ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/149 "2003-06-11T11:42:11Z")
I’m not a regular poster here, but I hope no one minds if I pop in to vote for a very old movie called “Up In Arms” with Dinah Shore. I sat all the way through it on television and I am still wondering why. I will admit that most of the movies in this thread I have not seen so they are probably worse. (I must also admit that my friend and I walked out of Punch Drunk Love after half an hour. It could have been us though.) ---
**Author:** ![Leechboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Leechboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leechboy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/150 "2003-06-11T11:42:31Z")
I will always offer up these as the single worst I’ve seen - **Hugo Pool -** Directed by Robert Downey Sr. as a tribute to his wife, who died from Lou Gehrig’s disease. And of course the best tributes take the form of 1. A long lingering closeup of Alyssa Milano’s ass as she reaches into her truck. 2. Malcolm MacDowell shooting up using a hand puppet. 3. Sean Penn, the finest actor of his generation as a leprecaun 4.Robert Downey Jr. trying his hands at another accent 5.Richard Lewis. (Sorry, but outside of Curb Your Enthusiam, Lewis is a surefire indicator of how awful a movie will be.) \*\*Voyage of the Rock Aliens - \*\* Why ? 1. Pia Zadora 2. Musical 3.Jermaine Jackson. Goodnight. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/151 "2003-06-11T13:42:48Z")
I have one that is not only one of my least favorite movies of all time, but _also_ I think is one of the worst movies of all time. A movie that looms, Godzilla-like, over all others and has earned it’s place in the Pantheon of Bad Movies by its very existance. That movie is [**Monsturd**](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0364527) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/152 "2003-06-11T15:43:43Z")
My favorite moment in _Gymkata_ is the crazy priest who turns around to reveal that his clothing is backless and he is bare-ass naked. In case you’re wondering, this happens for no reason. Second best pointless moment is the pommel horse-like device that sits in the middle of a wide-open square, just so the protagonist can beat the baddies with it. ---
**Author:** ![MSU\_1978](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@MSU\_1978](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MSU_1978)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/153 "2003-06-11T16:11:33Z")
Joe vs. the Volcano- what a stinker. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/154 "2003-06-11T16:38:08Z")
I’m no expert of bad bad movies, but my friend watches a lot. His nomination goes to **Killer Nerd**. It’s completely amateur; I don’t think anyone at the MPAA has ever heard of it. But it shows up in IMDb, so I guess it’s a real film. ---
**Author:** ![Erik\_the\_Viking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Erik\_the\_Viking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erik_the_Viking)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/155 "2003-06-11T16:45:14Z")
My all-time least favorite: _Polyester_ by John Waters _Second Sight_ with Bronson Pinchot ('nuff said) _Eraserhead_, even though I love Lynch’s other work Worst movie I never saw: _Pearl Harbor_–it was so bad I knew I shouldn’t bother seeing it. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/156 "2003-06-11T18:27:19Z")
I’m amazed no one has mentioned **Bulletproof Monk** , and if they have, I second it. That movie was sooooo bad. It was my first big-screen stinker. ---
**Author:** ![Dawne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/157 "2003-06-11T19:42:46Z")
Out of all the films I’ve seen I’d have to say Calamity Jane but if theres a film that could possibly be worse it would have to be something that I’ve not seen, Kangaroo Jack. It looks absolutely horrible from the clips I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/158 "2003-06-11T20:40:43Z")
Twister, Little Nicky, Jeepers Creepers. ---
**Author:** ![Grousser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Grousser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grousser)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/159 "2003-06-13T00:20:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zander \* > \*\*Vanilla Sky looked good … Oh, and please don’t tell me I don’t get Vanilla Sky. I freakin’ get it. They spent the last half hour of that thing explaining it ten times. Got it. Frozen. Dreaming. Tech support. Psychiatrist. Vanilla-colored sky. Got it, got it, got it. \*\* I don’t say you didn’t get Vanilla Sky. Just pointing that it’s based in a spanish-spoken movie called “Abre los Ojos” (Open Your Eyes), by autheur Alejandro Amenabar, that’s darker, misterious and tragic. Vanilla Sky is a lighter version of it, and “Abre los Ojos” was aimed at a hispanic audience non-habituated to that nearly (Philip K.) Dickinsian issues. It’s still a great story; not as ambitious and high-leveled as Matrix, but still works. Amenabar is the writer-director of “The Others” and a spanish movie called “Tesis”, also good enough to credit him a good reputation for dealing-with-nature-of-reality, though light-treated themes. ---
**Author:** ![kalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dfb087/32.png) [@kalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kalex)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028/160 "2003-06-13T01:27:49Z")
Zander, I’m with you on Vanilla Sky. Oh, I’ve sat through Lost in Space, (when Matt Leblanc is the best actor in the movie, things have clearly rolled off the tracks) and I watched poor Genna Davis in not only Pirates, but The Long Kiss Goodnight (Reny Harland (sp?) was her about-to-be-ex-husband and also directed this unfiltered spew of bile, and clearly hated her guts). But these films, along with many others already listed here, only made me want to twist off my own head, thereby hurting but one person. Vanilla Sky, on the other hand, long about the 10th time I thought it was over, made me want to go back in time and kill everyone involved in the invention of cinema. I wanted a really big body count. I kind of liked Eraserhead. When my allergies are flaring up and my eyes itch, I can’t help but think of the scene where he was in bed with his eye-rubbing wife. Squeeek-squeeeek-squeeek… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-movie/180028.md?page=9)