# All Time Worst One Hit Wonders **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 14, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971 "2007-01-14T20:01:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/41 "2007-01-15T13:35:07Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] You betcha. “In the Year 2525” is the worst song ever, by any band, one hit wonder or no. Hell, it’s not just the worst song ever, it’s the worst ANYTHING ever. Anyone who thinks any other song is worse surely hasn’t heard “In The Year 2525.” Oh, don’t go out and TRY to hear it. You don’t want to. [/QUOTE] Ah, hush now child. Think, why was _In The Year2525_ the only hit for Zager and Evans? Because they brilliantly followed it with the far worse _Mr Turnkey_, an ode to a convicted rapist. Surprisingly not many women rushed out to buy a single with lyrics like: \*Mr Turnkey, it’s 10 pm in Wichita Falls August 16, 1969 and I’m in some bar Mr Turnkey, I need a woman and I ain’t getting far I never was the kind of man a woman looked for. But Mr Turnkey, she looked at me with flirting eyes Mr Turnkey, she was lovelier than oil lights Mr Turnkey, she led me on, she led me on, She knew she wasn’t going to let me love her.\* Sniff, beautiful isn’t it? Certainly a challenge to their previous release. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/42 "2007-01-15T13:41:24Z")
[Convoy](http://www.narrowgauge.org/4x4/cw_pages/lyrics/spirit/convoy.html) by CW McCall. So awful that I betcha few people even remember (or want to remember) it ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/43 "2007-01-15T13:42:58Z")
[QUOTE=Sgt Schwartz] Nobody has said “The Vapors” Remember “Turning japanese” [/QUOTE] OK, now we’re fightin’. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/44 "2007-01-15T13:48:01Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] [Convoy](http://www.narrowgauge.org/4x4/cw_pages/lyrics/spirit/convoy.html) by CW McCall. So awful that I betcha few people even remember (or want to remember) it [/QUOTE] One of my all-time favorites. Sad, but true. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/45 "2007-01-15T13:54:03Z")
I have almost all of these on my iPod back at the house and enjoy them all. Especially the 70s ones. I spent WAY too much time in my Mom’s Nova driving from Redondo to USC during her grad school days listening to KHJ (“KHJ plays all the hits!”) to not be in love with early 70s songwriter pop. Woot! ---
**Author:** ![GLWasteful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f05b48/32.png) [@GLWasteful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GLWasteful)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/46 "2007-01-15T13:57:26Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] . . .and “Last Game Of The Season (The Blind Man in the Beachers)” about a baseball player whose blind dad dies, and therefore finally sees his son play (apparently from a seat in heaven.) [/QUOTE] 'Twas a football player, not a baseball player. And to think that I had mostly purged that song from my memory. Back to liberal applications of vodka and the occasional Q-Tip shoved into my ear canal until the lights go all pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/47 "2007-01-15T14:02:49Z")
[QUOTE=rackensack] **“The Night Chicago Died”, Paper Lace, 1974** \*\*“Billy, Don’t Be a Hero”, Bo Donaldson and the Haywoods, 1974. \*\* [/quote] These songs deserve to be mentioned (if they have to be brought up at all) along with _Seasons In The Sun_, which was a hit at about the same time. I’m surprised that anyone ever listened to the radio again. > [@Annie=Xmas](#): > > Convoy by CW McCall. So awful that I betcha few people even remember (or want to remember) it. C.W. actually had at least a marginal hit before this, with a “song” derived from a bread commercial, “The Old Home Filler-Up And Keep On A’Truckin’ Cafe”. As long as someone had to bring up “Ballad of the Green Berets”, let us not forget the other big popular song from the Vietnam War\*, C Company’s _“The Battle Hymn of Lieutenant Calley”_ (of My Lai massacre fame). It reportedly sold 200,000 copies within days of Calley’s conviction, and included these immortal lines (sung to the tune of _Battle Hymn of the Republic_): “While we’re fighting in the jungles They were marching in the street, While we’re dying in the rice fields They were helping our defeat. While we’re facing VC bullets They were sounding a retreat, As we go marching on…” I was fortunate enough to secure a copy years later and it is one of my most valued 45 RPM records. :dubious: \*The only other Vietnam-inspired pop song I can think of, Country Joe and the Fish’s _Feel Like I’m A-Fixin To Die Rag_ is, unlike the other two, a genuine classic. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/48 "2007-01-15T14:25:20Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] \*The only other Vietnam-inspired pop song I can think of, Country Joe and the Fish’s _Feel Like I’m A-Fixin To Die Rag_ is, unlike the other two, a genuine classic. [/QUOTE] [hijack] Not as militant as those others, but there’s “To Susan on the West Coast Waiting” by Donovan, which was probably the first chart song to even mention Vietnam. (Trivia: The B-side of this single was “Atlantis.” “To Susan” was a moderate hit before the DJs flipped the record over to discover the much bigger hit.) [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/49 "2007-01-15T14:25:58Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] One of my all-time favorites. Sad, but true. [/QUOTE] 😃 I actually like most of these. Most were popular when I was young and they bring back good memories. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/50 "2007-01-15T14:28:44Z")
I’ve had a look through this thread and I don’t see any mention of “The Birdie Song”…please tell me they didn’t have another misguided ‘hit’? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/51 "2007-01-15T14:31:29Z")
If you mean the Chicken Song, it’s Las Ketchup and I mentioned it. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/52 "2007-01-15T14:39:03Z")
I did not expect them to have a followup hit, but my god, **Chicago Bears - Superbowl Shuffle** mixes everything that makes music bad. Here, enjoy some cringe-inducing visuals to accompany this travesty: [http://youtube.com/watch?v=aXN564HRVF8](http://youtube.com/watch?v=aXN564HRVF8) ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/53 "2007-01-15T14:41:16Z")
How about that execrable “Girl, you’ll be a woman soon” song by whoever it’s by? I’ve always hated that song - sounded like it’s sung by a lecherous old rapist who’s scoping out his next target. Seems to me he’s saying she’ll be a woman soon because he’s going to make her one. Ew. I feel like I should go take a shower now. As I always do after hearing even a snippit of that song. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/54 "2007-01-15T14:50:57Z")
I have always hated the songs [Blue - Eiffel 65](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tStmreuvBF0) and Who Let the Dogs Out? ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/55 "2007-01-15T15:05:18Z")
[QUOTE=Snickers] How about that execrable “Girl, you’ll be a woman soon” song by whoever it’s by? I’ve always hated that song - sounded like it’s sung by a lecherous old rapist who’s scoping out his next target. Seems to me he’s saying she’ll be a woman soon because he’s going to make her one. Ew. I feel like I should go take a shower now. As I always do after hearing even a snippit of that song. [/QUOTE] The original was Neil Diamond. Way, way, WAY far away from being a one-hit-wonder. (Not to say it’s not creepi-fying, just that it doesn’t qualify.) It was later redone by Urge Overkill and used in Pulp Fiction. They, too, had another popular song, Sister Havana. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/56 "2007-01-15T15:07:28Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] If you mean the Chicken Song, it’s Las Ketchup and I mentioned it. [/QUOTE] Nope, it’s a different one, definitely called the Birdie Song and I think it’s by The Tweets. I’d google for it, but I think I’d barf. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/57 "2007-01-15T15:11:35Z")
[Biz markie’s "Just a Friend](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_a_Friend_%28song%29) was an absolute travesty. The only thing worse than the song was the video, which enhances the utter awfulness of the song. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/58 "2007-01-15T16:12:41Z")
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini They areComing to Take Me Away There was a one hit wonder a few years ago that the singer changed his name to the song title. I am drawing a blank though. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/59 "2007-01-15T16:15:50Z")
Duke of Earl? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/60 "2007-01-15T16:18:20Z")
[QUOTE=Freddy the Pig] This thread would be incomplete without at least an honorable mention for _Playground in my Mind_, credited to Clint Holmes although its most annoying moment was the cloying child singer warbling, “My name is Michael, I got a nickel, I got a nickel shiny and bright”. [/QUOTE] Thank you! But also Damn you! Because now that song is stuck in my head on an endless loop. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971.md?page=4)