# All Time Worst One Hit Wonders **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 14, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971 "2007-01-14T20:01:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/81 "2007-01-15T20:14:36Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] And Kraftwerk’s\* _Autobahn_, probably the worst road song in history, which featured endless repetitions of: _“Wir fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn”_ Roughly translated, “We are driving on the Autobahn”. Like _cosmic_, man. \*I know they sold a bunch of albums to deluded people, but this is their only pop hit that I know of. [/QUOTE] :eek: Don’t be dissing Kraftwerk. Those guys are legends. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/82 "2007-01-15T20:21:11Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] [Nope](http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Lyrics/Disco-Duck.html) [/QUOTE] Yep. His only hit, but he did record a biographical song about Elvis called “He Ate Too Many Jelly Donuts.” I’ve never actually heard it, but someone told me it is replete with gluttonous, munching, chomping sounds. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/83 "2007-01-15T20:37:21Z")
I don’t like “I’ve Never Been to Me” or “The Ballad of the Green Berets,” but I really don’t mind most of the others posted here. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/84 "2007-01-15T20:55:33Z")
“Rock Me Amedeus” by Falco ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/85 "2007-01-15T20:59:19Z")
[QUOTE=Christopher] “Rock Me Amedeus” by Falco [/QUOTE] Dar Commisar Blinded by science Twilight Zone ooohhhh the memories… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/86 "2007-01-15T21:16:02Z")
[QUOTE=Yookeroo] :eek: Don’t be dissing Kraftwerk. Those guys are legends. [/QUOTE] Driving songs are supposed to energize you, not induce narcolepsy. _fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn…fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn_ …nod…og SMASH. As long as I’m pissing off hard-core fandom, I might as well mention Nazareth\*, whose plodding, clanking, moaning version of _Love Hurts_ evoked deep spiritual and physical pain, not unlike that generated by a severe case of constipation. Speaking of which, the all-time best song on _that_ subject (_Constipation Blues_) was recorded by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, who does not by any means qualify as a one-hit wonder, having churned out such enduring greats as _I Put A Spell On You_ and _Feast of the Mau Mau_. \*It is possible Nazareth had more than one singles hit, but if they did they didn’t deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/87 "2007-01-15T21:20:36Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] \*It is possible Nazareth had more than one singles hit, but if they did they didn’t deserve it. [/QUOTE] You don’t remember? Well, now you’re messin’ with a (BOMP BOMP) son of a bitch. :mad: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/88 "2007-01-15T21:39:49Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] You don’t remember? Well, now you’re messin’ with a (BOMP BOMP) son of a bitch. :mad: 😛 [/QUOTE] Alright, that was OK. But in general, Nazareth is the musical equivalent of [canned haggis.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=404056) ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/89 "2007-01-15T21:47:05Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] No kiddding. I LOVE _Turning Japanese_. My vote is for Taco’s _Puttin’ on the Ritz_…yowza what a piece of crap. [/QUOTE] :drops dead: You just nominated _Irving Berlin_ as a “one hit wonder”? :drops dead again: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/90 "2007-01-15T21:56:11Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] :drops dead: You just nominated _Irving Berlin_ as a “one hit wonder”? :drops dead again: 😉 [/QUOTE] Read my next post! I love the _song_, I just hate Taco’s version of it. If there is anything worse than a song that’s just plain bad, it’s when someone takes a classic and destroys it. Listen to Taco’s recording sometime, and tell me if you think it does the song…or Irving Berlin…justice. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8797f3/32.png) [@Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ins_Outs_What-have-yous)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/91 "2007-01-15T22:01:29Z")
My vote: The Crash Test Dummies with the song “Mmm mmm mmm mmm.” I like **Qadgop** ’s answer too ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/92 "2007-01-15T22:02:48Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] As long as I’m pissing off hard-core fandom, I might as well mention Nazareth\*, whose plodding, clanking, moaning version of _Love Hurts_ evoked deep spiritual and physical pain, not unlike that generated by a severe case of constipation. [/QUOTE] It was, however, VASTLY superior to the Everly Brothers version, which had whining instead of moaning and was even slower. However, Nazareth did ruin the dumbest line, making “Love is like a flame/It burns you when it’s hot” out of “Love is like a **stove** /It burns you when it’s hot.” A little archaic for a song written in 1960, though I’m sure plenty of people will pipe in, like my wife, claiming to have cooked on a wood stove after 1960. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/93 "2007-01-15T22:06:45Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] These songs deserve to be mentioned (if they have to be brought up at all) along with _Seasons In The Sun_, which was a hit at about the same time. I’m surprised that anyone ever listened to the radio again.C.W. actually had at least a marginal hit before this, with a “song” derived from a bread commercial, “The Old Home Filler-Up And Keep On A’Truckin’ Cafe”. As long as someone had to bring up “Ballad of the Green Berets”, let us not forget the other big popular song from the Vietnam War\*, C Company’s _“The Battle Hymn of Lieutenant Calley”_ (of My Lai massacre fame). It reportedly sold 200,000 copies within days of Calley’s conviction, and included these immortal lines (sung to the tune of _Battle Hymn of the Republic_): “While we’re fighting in the jungles They were marching in the street, While we’re dying in the rice fields They were helping our defeat. While we’re facing VC bullets They were sounding a retreat, As we go marching on…” I was fortunate enough to secure a copy years later and it is one of my most valued 45 RPM records. :dubious: \*The only other Vietnam-inspired pop song I can think of, Country Joe and the Fish’s _Feel Like I’m A-Fixin To Die Rag_ is, unlike the other two, a genuine classic. [/QUOTE] CW McCall was Bill Fries, who did the advertising for a bread company that led to the “The Old Home Filler-Up And Keep On A’Truckin’ Cafe”, and Chip Davis, more notably of Mannheim Steamroller fame. I have a anti Vietnam 45 by Homer and Jethro, I’ll have to look and see what the title is. And in that box of 45s is “The Monster Mash”, there’s a one hit wonder for you. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/94 "2007-01-15T22:25:21Z")
Loren Greene’s [Ringo](http://www.lyricsdownload.com/lorne-green-ringo-lyrics.html) I have not thought of this song in forty years. I now feel so dirty and retched. It’s below “In the Year 2525.” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/95 "2007-01-15T22:27:57Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] And in that box of 45s is “The Monster Mash”, there’s a one hit wonder for you. [/QUOTE] Yet every year Bobby “Boris” Pickett had to take off a month from work (was it Home Depot?) to tour with it. Early New Years Day, after the “A Prairie Home Companion” special, the local PBS station broadcast a Clint Holmes concert. About halfway through the fifteen-minute rendition of “Playground In My Mind” he started teaching the audience the chorus in case it hadn’t already been branded on their brains for eternity. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/96 "2007-01-15T22:42:59Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] Of course! 😃 Actually, the song itself is not a loser, it’s just that arrangement Taco used…awful, awful, awful. He ruined a perfectly good old classic. I’m actually quite fond of the old version Fred Astaire sang in _Blue Skies_. [/QUOTE] Ahhh. Come back a few minutes later to read the rest of the thread and find that my original post was lacking. Mr. Berlin has stopped spinning in his grave, I’m sure. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/97 "2007-01-15T22:56:19Z")
You know what really sucks? Paper Lace was a **TWO HIT** wonder: [Billboard #1 June 15 - June 28: Billy, Don’t Be A Hero - Paper Lace](http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Pop-Modern/1974.html) ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/98 "2007-01-15T23:00:49Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Early New Years Day, after the “A Prairie Home Companion” special, the local PBS station broadcast a Clint Holmes concert. [/quote] Oh my God. Are they _trying_ to get de-funded by Congress? > [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Paper Lace, following the hit single of “The Night Chicago Died,” wrote mayor Richard Daley about the possibility of a special shindig in their honor when they came to town. Replied a Daley aide, to the group’s publicist: . . . “Pray tell us, are you nuts?” Sure, but in 1974 Al Capone was still a living memory. Since then we’ve learned to embrace our gangster heritage, with tours and theme restaurants and all that. I think the song is ready for . . . Yes! A revival! > [@Duke of Rat](#): > > And in that box of 45s is “The Monster Mash”, there’s a one hit wonder for you. _Monster Mash_ is in the odd category of novelty hits that were so popular they spawned their own sequels. _Monster Mash_ spawned _Monsters’ Holiday_, which charted at Christmas 1962 and _technically_ saves Boris from being a one-hit wonder. Likewise with _Snoopy vs. the Red Baron_, which spawned _The Return of the Red Baron_ and _Snoopy’s Christmas_. The former charted for the Royal Guardsmen, and the latter still gets occasional holiday airplay. _Mash_ and _Snoopy_ are pretty bad, but I sort of think novelty songs should be excluded from this category, because no matter how bad they are they’re never as bad as songs that are trying to be good. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/99 "2007-01-15T23:04:35Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] You know what really sucks? Paper Lace was a **TWO HIT** wonder: [Billboard #1 June 15 - June 28: Billy, Don’t Be A Hero - Paper Lace](http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Pop-Modern/1974.html) [/QUOTE] Probably a typo/copying error. “Billy…” was a hit for Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods that year. See #56 on the first list in your link, the one that dominates the page. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971/100 "2007-01-15T23:07:52Z")
[QUOTE=KayElCee] Probably a typo/copying error. “Billy…” was a hit for Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods that year. See #56 on the first list in your link, the one that dominates the page. [/QUOTE] Sorry for the double post. Apparently Paper Lace had a hit with “Billy” in the UK. > **[Billy—Don't Be a Hero](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Don't_Be_a_Hero)** > > "Billy—Don't Be a Hero" is a 1974 pop song that was first a UK hit for Paper Lace and then, some months later (with its title punctuated as "Billy, Don't Be a Hero"), a US hit for Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods. The song was written and composed by two British songwriters, Mitch Murray and Peter Callander. Because the song was released in 1974, it was associated by some listeners with the Vietnam War, though the war to which it actually refers is never identified in the lyrics. It has been sugge... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-time-worst-one-hit-wonders/387971.md?page=6)