# Alligator lizards in the air **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 11, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659 "2004-03-11T06:57:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/1 "2004-03-11T06:57:39Z")
So I’m making a CD for a road trip to Los Angeles, and I put “Ventura Highway” by the band America on there, because it’s got a nice little hook and we’re going to be driving on the Ventura Highway. As soon as it comes on, the driver of the car starts bitching about America and how much they sucked, going so far as to call them one of the stupidest bands ever. “Just listen to the lyrics,” he said. I’d always thought of America as being completely inoffensive; I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to them, but I wouldn’t run away screaming either. But after paying more attention to the lyrics, I realized that America wasn’t just one of the stupidest bands ever, they were THE stupidest band ever. Because it’s so insidious; you hear a pleasant little tune and think nothing of it, while the vapid lyrics work their magic and actually make you stupider just for having heard them. Exhibit A: “Ventura Highway” > [@](#): > > ‘Cause the free wind is blowin’ through > Your hair > And the days surround your daylight > There > Seasons crying no despair > Alligator lizards in the air > > Wishin’ on a falling star > Watchin’ for the early train > Sorry boy, but I’ve been hit by > Purple rain What in the name of all that is good and holy does “Alligator lizards in the air” refer to? I suppose it could be an enigmatic “pompatous of love” type phrase, if you didn’t have the rest of the lyrics reminding you that the whole song is just random incoherent words strung together. “The days surround your daylight there?” “Been hit by purple rain?” Why are you sorry about that? Does it have something to do with your missing the train? Exhibit B: “Horse With No Name” > [@](#): > > On the first part of the journey > I was looking at all the life > There were plants and birds and rocks and things Do tell. The words paint a picture in my brain. There were not only plants and birds in this desert, but also rocks, and then things. _Things_! > [@](#): > > The heat was hot and the ground was dry > But the air was full of sound And that sound was “Duuuuuhhhhhrrr.” The heat was _hot_, you say? > [@](#): > > You see I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name > It felt good to be out of the rain Because, presumably, he was in danger of looking up and drowning. I’m convinced now that the only reason the horse _didn’t_ have a name was because he was too dense to come up with one. He probably would’ve named it “Horse.” Or “Thing.” Exhibit C: “Muskrat Love” Too easy. Exhibit D: “You Can Do Magic” > [@](#): > > You can do magic > You can have anything that you desire > Magic, and you know > You’re the one who can put out the fire Sure, the whole damn song is repetitive, and if a 4th grader turned it in for a poetry class he’d get a C+ at best, but that last line is the stupidest part. The whole song is about how this person made him fall in love with her/him. So he/she isn’t putting _out_ the fire, she’s _starting_ it. Dumb ass. It may be true that Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, but this guy still should’ve checked to see if the wizard could set him up with a brain. I feel like I’ve been duped all these years, humming along mindlessly and never realizing that America was the _stupidest band ever_. ---
**Author:** ![Tortuga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@Tortuga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tortuga)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/2 "2004-03-11T09:31:06Z")
What, “alligator lizards in the air” doesn’t draw you back to golden childhood memories of lizard-flinging fights? Quick! Grab it before it drops its tail and you lose it! Quick! Fling it at your friend before it bites you! (those little fuckers could draw blood, they weren’t called alligator lizards for nothin’) …Enjoy the high pitched girlish screams and run before they can throw it back on you… ---
**Author:** ![Nurobath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a88e57/32.png) [@Nurobath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurobath)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/3 "2004-03-11T09:50:38Z")
I always thought that the lyrics to Ventura Highway were about tripping or at least written with the idea that the listener would most likely be tripping while listening to it. Their other songs…mostly just silly to me, and I like America. Listened to them all the time when I was a kid so I guess maybe it’s a nastalgia thing for me. I think many of their lyrics are just early seventies stream of consciousness kind of writing. It doesn’t have to make sense as long as it sounds groovy, man. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/4 "2004-03-11T13:30:15Z")
It’s abour drugs. Obviously. 'Cause if you see “alligator lizards in the air” you _had better_ be on drugs, or you’re stuck in a bad Godzilla flick. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/5 "2004-03-11T13:37:15Z")
I have always thought Horse With No Name was an amazingly annoying song. The others don’t bother me as much, but that one I always turn off. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/6 "2004-03-11T13:58:53Z")
It’s the 11th and final Plague against the Egyptians in the Bible book of Exodus. I lie! I always figured it mean dragonflies ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/7 "2004-03-11T15:07:39Z")
Also the fact that I’m something of a herp geek and used to sell [alligator lizard](http://www.wildherps.com/images/herps/big/017921_SF_alligator_lizard.jpg)s. Also relevant to this thread, one of my favorite unknown bands–The Loud Family–has an album entitled “[Plants and Birds and Rocks and Things](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000001HUQ/qid=1079017622/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl15/103-8034133-6475863?v=glance&s=music&n=507846).” ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/8 "2004-03-11T15:59:50Z")
> [@Nurobath](#): > > I think many of their lyrics are just early seventies stream of consciousness kind of writing. It doesn’t have to make sense as long as it sounds groovy, man. Yep. In the '70s, artists like America, Steely Dan, and Bernie Taupin (via Elton John) gave the music scene the lyrical equivalents of Monet paintings. The words of many of their songs are meant to provoke impressions, and are not meant as strict narrative. Among contemporary groups, Train and Third Eye Blind do some of that impressionistic schtick. Coldplay, too, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/9 "2004-03-11T16:08:38Z")
To the OP: congratulations on your awakening. Yes Virginia, America was a shit band. Now you know the truth. My g/f and I have this discussion often. She loves the band and insists that all her smart friends thought their lyrics were great. At that point I politely change the subject; better to stand mute than insult your g/f’s friends. I think Randy Newman’s comment on “Horse With No Name” says it best: “It’s about a kid who thinks he’s taken acid.” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/10 "2004-03-11T16:32:43Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > My g/f and I have this discussion often. She loves the band and insists that all her smart friends thought their lyrics were great. At that point I politely change the subject; better to stand mute than insult your g/f’s friends. You are a wise man sir. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/11 "2004-03-11T16:44:48Z")
Oh **Sol** you really made me laugh! You too **Tortuga**! I’m always amazed when I hear that old classic by the Moody Blues. What a beat! What a groove! What the hell are they saying. _Ride my see-saw_?? > [@](#): > > Ride, ride my see-saw, > Take this place > On this trip > Just for me. [Complete lyrics](http://www.lyricseek.net/Moody%20Blues%20Ride%20My%20SeeSaw%20lyrics.asp) ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/12 "2004-03-11T17:12:30Z")
You better watch out before someone accuses you of being “un-American” or worse, “anti-American!” har har… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/13 "2004-03-11T20:16:20Z")
The free wind was blowing through my hair, and I kicked the Horse with No Name in the ribs and edged him up over eighty, rumbling along through the desert as the amber liquid sloshed in the square bottle gripped in my sweaty fist. My accountant and personal trainer needed to vomit so he asked if we could stop soon. I looked at him through a pair of triple-wide gold rimmed aviator sunglasses with red lenses, trying to decide whether the blood was on him or on my eyes, and hollered over my shoulder, “We can’t stop here… this is ALLIGATOR LIZARD country!” His quizzical look could have been a side effect of the acid, or of the _America_ album in his eight track. Ah… poor bastard doesn’t see the alligator lizards. Well, I’m not going to say anything. He’ll see them soon enough. Where’s that ether? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/14 "2004-03-11T21:46:58Z")
I agree with the impressionistic lyrics interpretation. It’s not like the lyrics of 99% of today’s popular music is any less inane. Really, tell us who you like to listen to, and I bet we can pick out lyrics that in the cold light of day, look just as stupid as anything in the America canon. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/15 "2004-03-11T22:04:35Z")
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who never could figure out the lyrics to “Ventura Highway.” However, I still like the song a great deal; it’s a catchy little ditty. I also like “Sister Goldenhair,” but not because I think it has any redeeming musical merit. It was popular my first year in college when I worked on the student newspaper and the editors were two blondes and times were pretty interesting. I hear that song and get nostalgic for one of the few good times in my life. My opinion of America, before today, was that they were one of those lightweight bands that plagued the 1970’s; they were not terrible, but neither were they good. However, upon learning they wrote “Muskrat Love” (I’m only familiar with the Tony Tennille version, which is bad enough. In fact, when one of the local radio stations was asking listeners to name bad songs for a Thanksgiving “Turkey” Special, I and several others named that ditty.) I’ve come to the conclusion that this is one crime not even God can forgive. As an aside, I once heard a DJ ridicule “Horse With no Name.” His suggestion was: “You’re stuck in the desert with nothing else to do. Name the damn horse.” ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/16 "2004-03-12T00:31:40Z")
Discussions like this always remind me of the brilliant Blues Traveller song, “The Hook”: It doesn’t matter what I say So long as I sing with inflection That makes you feel that I’ll convey Some inner truth of vast reflection But I’ve said nothing so far And I can keep it up for as long as it takes . . . . Because the hook brings you back! ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/17 "2004-03-12T00:40:16Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > I agree with the impressionistic lyrics interpretation. It’s not like the lyrics of 99% of today’s popular music is any less inane. Really, tell us who you like to listen to, and I bet we can pick out lyrics that in the cold light of day, look just as stupid as anything in the America canon. Steve Allen used to have a bit where he’d read the lyrics to popular songs like serious poetry. It was pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/18 "2004-03-12T01:13:05Z")
> [@LoganDear](#): > > You better watch out before someone accuses you of being “un-American” or worse, “anti-American!” har har… 😉 If we can’t make fun of crappy 70s bands… (Wait for it) …then the terrorists have already won! ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/19 "2004-03-12T02:47:41Z")
> [@YellowTail](#): > > Steve Allen used to have a bit where he’d read the lyrics to popular songs like serious poetry. It was pretty funny. It was \*not \* funny. It was hilarious. Ba Ba Ba Ba Babra Ann Ba Ba Ba Ba Babra Ann Take my hand Barbara Ann Barbara Ann Ba Ba Ba Ba Babra Ann… Intoned with beatnik-serious inflections and poignant pauses. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659/20 "2004-03-12T03:34:34Z")
If we’re going to go after song lyrics, can someone please explain these: Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you. ??? **Please**. Explain it. Do it for the children. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alligator-lizards-in-the-air/233659.md?page=2)