Milk Money. I confess, I’ve never actually seen this, but the plot is of a lonely (widowed?) single father whose two young, precocious children pay for a prostitute to spend time with him. (This is a storyline that could make **Pretty Woman ** seem almost wholesome by comparison.) Presumably, romantic antics ensue.
You Light Up My Life. The 1977 film that had America wishing that Debbie Boone (and actress Didi Conn) would just put a sock in it. One wonders how many women dragged their S.O. to this, in retaliation for having been forced to sit through a Bronson “Death Wish” picture…
Playing By Heart (alt. title: Dancing About Architecture). Waste of a great cast. Not nearly as bad as the others, perhaps, but the greatest waste of potential.
And I’ll toss in When a Man Loves a Woman. I would’ve got up and walked out except I was with a group, and I wasn’t driving. I hated every moment of it, and seem to recall mentally making shopping lists for the next day towards the end. Sadly, that was before the days that I started falling asleep in movies.
Don Juan DeMarco with Johnny Depp, Marlon Brando and Faye Dunaway. biggest piece of crap movie. I was so fucking BORED sitting through that in the theater. I didn’t even want to see it in the first place, but one of my friends did, and she dragged me along. I hated it.
I’m not a huge fan of chick flicks, except for period pieces or costume dramas, like Sense and Sensibility, or Victoria and Albert.
I’m almost certainly in the minority, but I LIKED Hope Floats. Not Oscar material, sure. And Harry Connick’s always annoying. But I can look as Sandra Bullock all day.
And, as a kid from a “broken family,” I can relate to what the daughter went through, at least marginally.
At first I thought you named the wrong movie, but since you linked to it…
When a Man Loves a Woman was a chick flick?! I thought it was a movie about Meg Ryan’s horrific alcohol abuse and how it caused her to assault her children and break up her marriage, and how destroyed emotionally it made her husband and children. I wouldn’t even call it a happy ending - they embrace at an AA meeting, but it’s not clear that everything will be the way it was. Maybe you were on a roll with those shopping lists.
My Best Friend’s Wedding - the only remotely likable person was Rupert Everett. Forces of Nature - Bullock and Affleck, desperately looking for acting lessons
And a tie for Nadine or {any mad-for-Lifetime movie, you pick}
My wife is the biggest connoisseur of Chick Flicks I’ve ever known. I, in turn, have to sit through just about every one ever made.
Now this is generally fine with me. Of course I’d rather be watching a good crime drama, sc-fi thriller, dumb comedy, or pretty much any other genre, but I really don’t mind watching romatic comedies. As long as I set the expectation bar pretty low, I’m generally satisfied. Sometimes we even come across a surprising gem. And sometimes, we come across things like…<shudder>:
The Object Of My Affection - One of only three movies to get a ranking of “1” on my IMDB movie list. Dr. T & The Women - For the first time, my wife and I agreed on a romantic comedy sucking complete ass (probably because it contained no romance. Or comedy.) The Promise - I first saw this as a kid, and even at 11 years old I knew this was utter crap.
The kids hire the hooker for themselves, and not for sex… their intent is to see a naked woman. Perhaps not particularly wholesome, but much better than hiring a hooker to get your dad laid. In any event, things go wrong and the kids have no way to get home, so the lady in question (“V”, played by Melanie Griffith) ends up giving the kids a ride home and then hanging out in suburbia to escape the wrathful pimp Walthzer (Malcolm McDowell), from whom she had inadvertantly stolen a large sum of money. While she’s there, she meets the widowed father of one of the kids (Ed Harris). Sparks do indeed fly.
I think most of the Sandra Bullock oevre can be stuck in this category. She’s like the Ted McGinley of movies, except that Ted is merely a symptom, whereas Bullock is the disease.
Didn’t The Onion mention a Lifetime movie called The Abused Wife who Accidentally Killed her Policeman Husband in Self-Defence, on their “TV listings” page, once?
It’s fictional, sure. But there are a whoooole lot of Lifetime movies that ain’t a heckuva lot better.
Showing before that one was “How Can I Choose Between My Daughters?”
I love The Onion TV listings. USA: “Anybody Feel Like Sitting Through Sister Act?”
Oh how could I have forgotten about Now And Then? A total shameless vanity project in which we see Demi Moore and Melanie Griffith remember when they were 12 year old girls growing up in a picturesque little town. The movie then goes back in time and we see them portrayed by different young actresses, getting into adventures with boys and learning LIFE LESSONS. They make a pact to be there whenever they need each other, so now they all reunite b/c one of them is…having a baby.
That’s right - you’ve got most of the movie dealing with vomit-inducing scenes like first-kisses and faux-crises, followed by scenes of the grown-up versions resolving their differences, then holding hands and saying “PUSH!!”
