# Almond milk feels like I'm drinking elf come\* **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** soda-softdrinks\ **Created:** [August 14, 2012, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466 "2012-08-14T13:43:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/61 "2012-08-14T22:22:02Z")
There needs to be a shot called Elf Come, with a variant that uses Blue Curacao to be known as Smurf Come. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/62 "2012-08-14T22:33:26Z")
There is nothing at all nonstandard about spelling the slang word for semen “come.” [Dictionary.com](http://Dictionary.com) (Random House) defines _cum_ by cross-referencing _come_, def. 24: “semen.” [Thefreedictionary.com](http://Thefreedictionary.com) (American Heritage) defines _cum_ as “variant of _come_.” No definition is specified, but the only definition of _come_ as a noun is “semen ejaculated during orgasm,” which is marked with the cross reference, “also _cum_.” [Merriam-Webster.com](http://Merriam-Webster.com) doesn’t define _cum_ as a noun at all, but does include as definitions for _come_ as a noun cross references to both _semen_ and _orgasm_. (I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered _come/cum_ as a **noun** meaning “orgasm,” but I’m sure it’s possible.) ETA: The Online Etymology Dictionary entry for _cum_ reads > [@](#): > > verb and noun, by 1973, apparently a variant of the sexual sense of come that originated in pornographic writing, perhaps first in the noun sense. This “experience sexual orgasm” slang meaning of come (perhaps originally come off) is attested from 1650, in “Walking In A Meadowe Greene,” in a folio of “loose songs” collected by Bishop Percy. > They lay soe close together, they made me much to wonder; > I knew not which was wether, until I saw her under. > Then off he came, and blusht for shame soe soon that he had endit; > Yet still she lies, and to him cryes, “one more and none can mend it.” > As a noun meaning “semen or other product of orgasm” it is on record from the 1920s. The sexual cum seems to have no connection with L. cum, the preposition meaning “with, together with,” which is occasionally used in English in local names of combined parishes or benifices (e.g. Chorlton-cum-Hardy), in popular Latin phrases (e.g. cum laude), or as a combining word to indicate a dual nature or function (e.g. slumber party-cum-bloodbath). ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/63 "2012-08-14T22:47:56Z")
According to Webster’s, “come” is the proper (albeit, vulgar slang) term, and “cum” is an alternate spelling. There’s just one more thing I learned in school (though, again, not in class) that turns out to be wrong. Everything-I-need-to-know-I-learned-in-kindergarten my ass! Cum, in a non-vulgar sense, means, “combined with”. I once proofread a friend’s resume where she listed her current position as sales-cum-accountant. I advised her to change that. ETA: Ninja’d by **AS**. I really hope nobody is monitoring my Internet usage today. I’ve already searched for the Gaelic term for hooker, and the definition of cum. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/64 "2012-08-14T23:21:23Z")
A silver lining: your archery skills have likely gone through the roof! Seriously though…can’t you cut it with some water or something to make it less…gloppy? Me and my sons drink 1% and we love it. Just like anything else, its takes some getting used to. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/65 "2012-08-14T23:27:11Z")
How many elves do you need to “milk” to fill a carton?? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/66 "2012-08-15T02:06:29Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > You don’t get to change the spelling just because you don’t like it. If you did, I’d lop off all those unneeded letters at the end of French words. > [@Infovore](#): > > She can too, and so can I! I despise the word “cum.” it’s just too damn cutesy for its own good. > > If all those rappers get to change the spellings of words, then so do **Anaamika** and I. 😛 The word is “come”. “cum” is some sort of teeny bopper Penthouse forum crap. I don’t use every bit of slang out there just because it exists! If “cum” was the only acceptable spelling…well, I’d just never ever use it. > [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > A silver lining: your archery skills have likely gone through the roof! > > Seriously though…can’t you cut it with some water or something to make it less…gloppy? If _that’s_ the case, I’ll take Haldir. Please. And sure, I could cut it with water. At this point I still have other options before I have to go that route. > [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > How many elves do you need to “milk” to fill a carton?? :eek: run along, do the research. You know, fighting ignorance and all! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/67 "2012-08-15T03:26:40Z")
All of this controversy could have been avoided simply by using the word “gism”, because everyone can agree on how to spell that. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/68 "2012-08-15T04:30:26Z")
I don’t really have anything to contribute to the topic(s) at hand, but I wanted to pop in and say how great it is that in a single thread we have overlapping, interweaving discussions about milk and milk alternatives, the etymology of the word “cum”, and a series of Elf semen jokes…and it all somehow works. It makes me proud to be a Doper… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/69 "2012-08-15T05:54:41Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > How many elves do you need to “milk” to fill a carton?? Depends on how long since they’ve had a girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/70 "2012-08-15T06:10:21Z")
What do you mean by “healthy drink”? Unsweetened coconut milk from SO Delicious is the best milk substitute I’ve found. 35 calories, 4 grams of fat, 1 gram of carb per serving size box. I cannot consume anything made with soy, almond milk is too sweet, rice milk too gritty and too high in carbs. Oat milk is also too high in carbs. Goat milk triggers an immediate vomit reflex. For me, cow’s milk is the tastiest alternative, but I can drink the unsweetened coconut milk. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/71 "2012-08-15T10:50:59Z")
> [@For You](#): > > All of this controversy could have been avoided simply by using the word “gism”, because everyone can agree on how to spell that. Jizzim. I used to know a dude everyone called Jizzim. It was not meant in a good way. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/72 "2012-08-15T11:47:19Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > I really wish they’d stop calling it milk. It’s not milk. Milk comes from a tit. You don’t see soybeans with little udders on, do you?\* It’s juice, so they should call it soy juice. It’s been called almond milk [since the Middle Ages](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almond_milk#History)(was hugely popular in cooking then) - I think that ship has sailed. Then sunk in the Solent, been buried in mud, raised again and put in a museum. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/73 "2012-08-15T13:05:30Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > I don’t really have anything to contribute to the topic(s) at hand, but I wanted to pop in and say how great it is that in a single thread we have overlapping, interweaving discussions about milk and milk alternatives, the etymology of the word “cum”, and a series of Elf semen jokes…and it all somehow works. > > It makes me proud to be a Doper… Yeah I know. It makes me laugh. And it’s “jism”. ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/74 "2012-08-15T14:50:50Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > You don’t get to change the spelling just because you don’t like it. If you did, I’d lop off all those unneeded letters at the end of French words. Um… isn’t changing spellings because you don’t like them [exactly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_American_Dictionary_of_the_English_Language) what Americans do?! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/75 "2012-08-15T15:04:28Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I have nothing to add aside from :: snerk:: at the elf come thing, and to mention that it sounds like almond milk would be really great when poured into my ice cream machine and told to make ice cream. I’ve been adding soy and almond milk to the cow milk/cream/Pet milk concoction I use to make my ice cream and it’s deelisshyoso. I think it makes it freeze up faster too. /anecdote ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/76 "2012-08-15T15:13:26Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I’ve been adding soy and almond milk to the cow milk/cream/ **Pet milk** concoction I use to make my ice cream and it’s deelisshyoso. I think it makes it freeze up faster too. /anecdote {bolding mine} You’re milking cats and dogs? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/77 "2012-08-15T23:58:17Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > {bolding mine} You’re milking cats and dogs? Why does that remind me of [the first episode of _Red Dwarf_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhjGXCk-RVU)? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/78 "2012-08-16T16:19:18Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > {bolding mine} You’re milking cats and dogs? The trick is getting them to quit fighting and stand still. It’s even more exciting when you use females. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/79 "2012-08-16T16:19:55Z")
Also: [http://www.petmilk.com/](http://www.petmilk.com/) :rolleyes: 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466/80 "2012-08-16T19:11:00Z")
I no longer drink soy or almond milk since they don’t really have the consistency of a milk. I used to drink rice milk but have switched to coconut milk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almond-milk-feels-like-im-drinking-elf-come/631466.md?page=5)