# Almost 30, never had a relationship. Any advice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 25, 2012, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807 "2012-10-25T11:10:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/161 "2012-10-27T16:21:24Z")
**Reply** , does your college offer therapy or counseling services? It might help you get some insight into your self-esteem and develop some tools for improving it. Think of it as sprucing up your emotional profile, much as someone might do with his dating profile or personal appearance. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/162 "2012-10-27T16:54:15Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Will we each need a separate thread, or can we take turns hijacking this one? I think you are pretty too. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/163 "2012-10-27T18:05:11Z")
I’m a guy, but when I read your profile it makes me think you’re a giant douche. The first sentence I read is: > [@](#): > > I’d like to help bridge the gap between nature and society Yeah, I think society is generally pretty happy with their gap between them and nature. And who the hell are you to (1) decide such a gap exists and (2) be the one to fix it? That’s problem one. Problem two. You do not get to have 18 favorite movies. You sure as hell don’t get to have hundreds more when you were younger. It makes you seem self important and better than everyone else. Like you are too good to merely have a couple favorite movies or books like the rest of us mere mortals. There’s nothing wrong with being a crunchy granola save the world guy. You just can’t give off the “and I’m better than you for it” vibe. Unfortunately your profile reeks of it. After reading it, I think that you think that you are better than me because you want to live in a tree house by the river and I want an apartment in the city. I’d change/remove the following: I’d like to help bridge the gap between nature and society. I want to live a life of service. Part environmentalist and part technophile, I believe science, education and the global sharing of information will enable us to live better, kinder, wiser lives. It’s more important that you care about people and nature and act to serve one (or both) in whatever way you feel most comfortable. I value my yoga practice. these are not things that define me, Yeah, I’m the sappy type. You believe life should be about community-building and world-saving and all that crunchy-good stuff. Hint: If you want a BMW and a white picket fence, I ain’t your guy. If you dream of living in a treehouse by the river, let’s talk. I’ll bring power tools if you’ll bring the lumber. FSC, of course. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/164 "2012-10-27T19:40:33Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Dude, seriously, stop apologizing for yourself. > > I’m not sure if you do this in real life, but don’t put your flaws on the forefront. It’s OK to have flaws, there’s just no need to advertise them. > > Also, you _never_ ask a woman if you can kiss her. Just do it! This stuff sticks out in your posts like a sore thumb, \*\*Reply. \*\* Why are you noting that you are ‘still friends’ with these women? That says something about how you are going into these things. A bit too sappy/romantic/Utopian, I think. More to come, later… ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/165 "2012-10-27T19:55:34Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Hah, yeah. My brother is a short Asian guy and he’s currently shacking up with some hot blonde bird. It can be done! I haven’t read all of the other posts, but, a 5’10" Asian male, at least around here, is pretty darned tall, and it may put him outside of the “Asian male” stereotype demographic. At least IRL, not on a website. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/166 "2012-10-27T20:01:05Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Uh uh. Check her picture on the gallery. She’s young and hot. That’s one on me. I checked out her pic, and knew she was hot. I just thought she was a MILF. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea666f/32.png) [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_of_the_Dark)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/167 "2012-10-27T20:51:21Z")
OP, do you feel very sad, angry at world, worried about not getting a GF? I think you are likely to feel in that way because you have created this thread. What about seeing a mental health expert? It doesn’t mean you are freak, crazy or something. I received professional help and medications really really help! ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/168 "2012-10-27T21:49:30Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > My advice? > > Yes, changing buzzwords on your OKCupid and updating photos is a great idea within the context of OKCupid. However, I feel like the odds of you finding a girl on OKCupid that matches sensibilities with you is slimmer than finding a girl in real life. I just feel like with the overemphasis on the dating profile, it’s my opinion that your best bet is with live dating. I agree. I really don’t use OKC much. I’m rarely on it. Just last night I went to a party. I talked to a lot of women there (admittedly an out-of-character thing). There was this one vegetarian girl who biked 700 miles from Vancouver. We talked about outdoor co-ops, couchsurfing, and how to say “quinoa” in French. (For you unbelievers, this really IS what this is town is like. This is hardly unusual.) We were up chatting by the fire until 2am and it was fun… I just didn’t know what to do after that. Every time I’ve perceived interest from the other person, I’ve been almost universally proven wrong, so I’ve learned not to trust that feeling. I didn’t think this girl was interested – not that it would’ve mattered anyway, given that she was en route to Argentina. But I wouldn’t have known what to do even if she were potentially interested and a local. I can make conversation just fine. I can make people laugh, blah blah. But I don’t know how to go from there to… “So… um, would you maybe ever… um… yeah… um… go out… and like… do something… yeah… um… with someone like me?” > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Pictures are much better! Can you replace the one of you digging on the main page with one of your face? I think that would help. You aren’t a bad looking dude, no reason to hide your face. It’s interesting you bring that up. See, that’s exactly what I thought too… except OKC has this service where you submit your pool of profile pictures to a mob of other users. They see your picture, anonymously, with the question, “Would you go rather go on a date with the person in this picture or that picture?”. Well, guess what, the digging one _always_ beat all my others. I’ve submitted different sets to the system multiple times and the digging one always wins, face or no face, smile or no smile, blah blah. It’s totally counter-intuitive, but unless there’s something wrong with their algorithms, apparently that’s what the data says. As an aside, OKC runs a “data of dating” blog and here’s a semi-relevant entry: [The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/) (example: for men, smiling doesn’t matter nearly as much as one would believe) > [@April\_R](#): > > **Reply** , you are frekin adorable. > Just thought you ought to know. Aww. Thank you 🙂 > [@RickJay](#): > > Are you single? I have a pretty good profile 😉 Bow-chikka-bow-wow! > [@Misnomer](#): > > Until you date them. Then it doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female. Really? Is there this much drama in gay relationships too? > [@John\_DiFool](#): > > **Reply** , I say (and said ;)) to hold to your ideals. If I was a dirt-worshipping ethereal nature girl I probably would have gone gaga over your profile-you might tweak it here and there, sure, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with the _essence_ that you are broadcasting out there. Who cares about the zillions of women out there who don’t, won’t and wouldn’t “get” you? All you need is one kindred spirit. Thanks for the support. I can’t do it any other way without feeling like a fraud, so I guess I’m stuck with this. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > I think the profile is much better, and I laughed when I got to the “first thing people notice” bit. A sense of humor is a good thing to show off, especially in a non-mean way like you did. It’s good to see more of your face, because it’s a good face. > > The concepts behind the dating profile are the same as the concepts behind dating in general. Try to put the best you out there. Don’t hide your light under a bushel. Talk about what you want and need and what’s a bonus but not necessary. Have a sense of humor. Wear more green. 🙂 I will take your advice and try to be lighter about these things. But as for green… it’s so un-_brown_! > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Also, being in better shape is always a good thing. Some girls may not put a whole lot of emphasis on it, but many do, and being fit is just plain more attractive than not. Plus I think it’s good for you or something. So fit is good, but being muscular really isn’t important. Gotcha. I’m actually trying to get in shape for a triathlon. I’ll keep working on that instead of trying to build up muscle mass. > [@Zsofia](#): > > I’d honestly suggest you spend MORE time looking for women on OKCupid, just because it lets you focus your attention on other vegans who don’t shave their legs and want to live in a hemp house and make hemp babies with you. I’ve exhausted the pool of vegetarian hetero/bi women within 100 miles (there weren’t that many to begin with). I’ll keep an eye out for newcomers, but people around here really just aren’t into the whole online thing much. I’ve met a few women in other regions and there’s been a mutual willingness to meet… it just seemed silly to drive 500 miles to meet potential dates. But maybe after college I’ll consider Portland or another bigger hippie community. > [@](#): > > But as for “how on earth do you talk to women at the vegan coop”, and mind you I have never had any luck with those “meet people at the grocery store!” things, the way you do it is say “Hey, have you tried that brand of soy milk before? Is it any good?” and start a conversation that way. If she wants to keep talking to you, she will, and if not, she won’t. This is good practice - it’s definitely not threatening or anything, so you can try it out a lot on all kinds of women. Really? As a woman you wouldn’t find that creepy? > [@](#): > > ETA - another piece of advice (although this may be harder for guys) - when I broke up with my ex I promised myself I’d go out with anybody who gave me the opportunity who I didn’t think was scary or dangerous. Football player? What the hell, give it a try. Dirt-worshipping redwood dweller? Sure, let’s go! Go on at least one date with everybody you can possibly go on one date with (online dating is also good for this.) OK. It’s harder as a guy because I have to initiate all the messages and dates anyway, but there were a few leads that I didn’t really try to get a date out of. I will be more open in the future. > [@Dangerosa](#): > > Yes! Set your bar at something like “in the next year my goal is to date someone for at least x weeks”. Maybe that is three, maybe it’s sixteen. That might keep you from coming across as needy. Many of us had our starter relationships in high school (or earlier) where seeing one person for three months constituted a long term relationship. OK. I’ll aim for about a month or 3-4 dates. > [@Filbert](#): > > +1 liking the new profile! > > Even crunchy hippies generally like a sense of humour (unless you insult homeopathy or reiki, as I find out pretty often). > > Don’t get worked up out about your physique, so long as you’re pretty fit and healthy (you have to help build that house, remember?), a nice smile is the most important bit, and you’ve got that; just work on not coming across as needy or desperate- I know that’s damn hard if you _are_ getting a bit desperate, but really, girls can sense it a mile off. > > Do you go to any festivals or similar? They can be a good place to meet lots of people, especially if you can find one themed around your interests, and in that sort of environment there’s not so much stress on getting it all right first time as if you don’t hit it off, you don’t have to see them again after the festival is over, but you can always stay in touch if you do hit it off. I know quite a lot of people who met their SOs that way. > > Filbert I’ve been to several festivals with friends. They are universally intimidating. I have no idea how to approach a stranger and express interest. When I think about festivals, the first thing that comes to mind is “There would probably be so many awesome women there.” The second thing that comes to mind is “And none of them will give me the time of the day. I’ll probably end up spending every night moping in my tent.” > [@](#): > > Veggie, 29, single, female, wants to live in a self build, fine with justifiable lack of money, and Asianness… but lives in England ☹ That’s only a few weeks away. Build a raft, meet you halfway? 🙂 > [@RickJay](#): > > I barely drink. I usually am the DD. And the rest was history… > [@Loach](#): > > I’m going to start a thread like this just so all the women can tell me how hot I am. Why not? > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Will we each need a separate thread, or can we take turns hijacking this one? Do it! The cross-advice would probably help us all. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > **Reply** , does your college offer therapy or counseling services? It might help you get some insight into your self-esteem and develop some tools for improving it. I’m not sure if they have remaining sessions for me this year (budget cuts). I’ll look into it. > [@treis](#): > > I’m a guy, but when I read your profile it makes me think you’re a giant douche. The first sentence I read is: > > Yeah, I think society is generally pretty happy with their gap between them and nature. And who the hell are you to (1) decide such a gap exists and (2) be the one to fix it? That’s problem one. Um, perhaps you’re reading a bit much into it? I don’t exactly walk around thinking “You’re a _gap denier_?!? BURN, heathen, under the fiery oppression of my hippie glare!” I don’t even have my mind made up about climate change, which most of my peers would outright crucify me for. I just had a rather privileged childhood and I want to give back to the world in some way. There are many issues in the world – starving kids in Africa, the wealth gap, racial divides, social injustices, gay rights, blah blah. Nature just happens to be my thing. I originally wanted to do social work but eventually realized I just wasn’t very good with people. I don’t know why you find that so offensive, but let me know if there’s a way to state it less confrontationally. > [@](#): > > Problem two. You do not get to have 18 favorite movies. You sure as hell don’t get to have hundreds more when you were younger. It makes you seem self important and better than everyone else. Like you are too good to merely have a couple favorite movies or books like the rest of us mere mortals. This is actually a standard practice on OKC. I think it’s a little weird too, but I think the point is less “bragging rights” and more “hopefully me and this complete stranger will have at least one thing in common through which to start a conversation.” > [@](#): > > There’s nothing wrong with being a crunchy granola save the world guy. You just can’t give off the “and I’m better than you for it” vibe. Unfortunately your profile reeks of it. After reading it, I think that you think that you are better than me because you want to live in a tree house by the river and I want an apartment in the city. Again, I’m sorry if I come across that way because I’m probably the least militant guy of this type you’ll ever meet. Maybe I just too easily fit into the Angry Vegan stereotype, but I assure you I don’t think I’m better than you, just different. I live in an apartment too. I grew up in a city of 2 million and never set foot in a forest until well into adulthood. That’s why I dream of tree houses and rivers. > [@](#): > > I’d change/remove the following: > > I’d like to help bridge the gap between nature and society. > (snip) Well, ok, how could I change it to make it clear that: 1. This is what I care about. 2. I hope you care about the same things too. 3. I won’t judge you if you don’t, but we probably wouldn’t have much in common otherwise. > [@handsomeharry](#): > > This stuff sticks out in your posts like a sore thumb, \*\*Reply. \*\* > > Why are you noting that you are ‘still friends’ with these women? That says something about how you are going into these things. A bit too sappy/romantic/Utopian, I think. > More to come, later… _shrug_ I just thought it’d be full disclosure. That, and I don’t like it very much when I lose friends. People are important to me and I value my close friendships; it sucks when I lose them due to romantic drama. It sucks more than being rejected by a potential lover. > [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](#): > > OP, do you feel very sad, angry at world, worried about not getting a GF? I think you are likely to feel in that way because you have created this thread. What about seeing a mental health expert? It doesn’t mean you are freak, crazy or something. I received professional help and medications really really help! I’ve compartmentalized the sadness enough such that I’m generally able to function in the world, but sure, once in a while the loneliness bubbles up. No, I’m not angry at the world or anyone else; I internalize my failures. I have gone to therapists in the past. They’re of limited help… I find that diet and exercise generally work better. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/169 "2012-10-27T21:59:38Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Unfortunately they are attached to a hideous monster but thanks. Well go and ask for them back from him ya goof. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea666f/32.png) [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_of_the_Dark)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/170 "2012-10-27T22:19:47Z")
**@Reply,** I am talking about psychiatrist, not therapists. (well a psychiatrist can also be a therapist, but I want to be sure about your situation) What I was asking is "Did you use any anti-depressant or anti-psychotic medicines? If the answer is no, you should consider seeing a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/171 "2012-10-27T22:46:27Z")
> [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](#): > > **@Reply,** > > I am talking about psychiatrist, not therapists. (well a psychiatrist can also be a therapist, but I want to be sure about your situation) What I was asking is "Did you use any anti-depressant or anti-psychotic medicines? If the answer is no, you should consider seeing a doctor. I have tried in the past, to disastrous side effects. Different pills and brands. After researching their development a little more, I am now of the belief that neurology is more complex than modern pharmaceuticals can effectively and safely address – with sufficient precision and without undue side effects – and I’d rather not keep using myself as a guinea pig to keep trying. As befits the giant commune that is Arcata, I’ve also tried herbal tinctures – to no effect. There’s more to life than serotonin levels, besides. Anyway, as long as I exercise and eat well and stay socially involved, depression is not at all the issue it once was in my teenaged years. ---
**Author:** ![Enlightening\_Meditation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecc23a/32.png) [@Enlightening\_Meditation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enlightening_Meditation)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/172 "2012-10-28T00:11:43Z")
I’m a straight male roughly the same age (31) as Mr. Reply. I first suggest performing comedy, poetry, music, or all of those at open mics or other venues. Heck, sometimes one can get paid for such performances. I do this and I sometimes get more attention from women than I would prefer to be honest. So, that’s what works for me, and I’m far from being an Abercrombie model in the looks department. The significant challenge in my experience is filtering out the crazy ones who later turn out to be stalkers or pill heads. Not everyone has desire or talent for public performance, but it’s one idea. Some of my male friends have other strategies. Some of these suggestions are not entirely serious: I knew a couple guys during college who would go to a bar and hit on every lady there. They’d start with the best looking dames and move down the ladder from there…and would keep going…until they were talking to women that I wouldn’t wanna touch with a 10 ft long pole…and then move on to the next pub if they struckout. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that approach and personally prefer to know a lady a bit before formally dating. Are there any cougar bars in your local region? I know of a couple watering holes near me where some well _ahem_ mature women will hit on any swinging d\*\*k under 40. A few of my more adventurous friends go that strategy once in a while…likely I gather for more a fling type situation. That’s not my scene, but a possible option depending on location. Are there any gay bars in your area? Now, this might seem…uh…counter-intuitive. I was in a band about 10 years ago, and the lead singer had a straight male friend who lived next door to gay fellow in an apartment building. These two would both go to a nearby gay bar…the gay guy would mingle with other gays and the straight guy would hit on the females also known as the fag hags. Well, at least anecdotally, the straight fellow had some success with this. Why do that? For him it was the closest bar and well within walking distance. I once had a co-worker who was attracted to larger women. He especially liked middle aged big beautiful women, i.e. the BBWs. I can say without a doubt that he was always on a hot streak. Oh my, the stories he would tell…wow. That reminds me to state a word of caution: don’t lick a lady’s vagina/clit area after eating spicy chicken wings or other spicy foods that may be within the vegan diet realm. He learned that the hard way. Oh, and don’t yank the anal beads out from lady as if you’re starting a lawnmower. He learned that the hard way too. You have the online dating angle already targeted. Good luck and be patient. It’s been five years since I went that route, and there was some success. A refreshingly witty CraigList ad might get you more action than OkC. Some people have real barriers to being relationship material such as poor health or physical deformities. So, you should feel positive about your prospects. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/173 "2012-10-28T22:27:04Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > **Reply** , does your college offer therapy or counseling services? It might help you get some insight into your self-esteem and develop some tools for improving it. > > Think of it as sprucing up your emotional profile, much as someone might do with his dating profile or personal appearance. LOl. I am sorry but I had to laugh at this one. Therapy offered through a college’s counseling services is like getting a hamburger at McDonald’s. Sure, it looks like beef, maybe even smells like beef, but that is not beef. You basically get a grad student working for their license in SW or Phd in psychology practicing on you and giving you a bunch of pointless psychology tests which are supposed to get at your personality and put your depression/anxiety/fears, etc on a scale. It’s bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/174 "2012-10-28T22:32:43Z")
P.S. if you are really unlucky they hit on you in your last session with them just to make the whole thing even more uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/175 "2012-10-28T23:21:14Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > P.S. if you are really unlucky they hit on you in your last session with them just to make the whole thing even more uncomfortable. Lucky 😉 I can remember one or two who I wish would’ve hit on me. ETA: FWIW, one thing in their favor is that they’re usually young and as yet unjaded by a lifetime spent listening to people’s unfixable problems. For all their inexperience, they treated me with much more humanity than did their elders, professionals in the field who are so callused you’re no more than a pharmaceutical flowchart to them. Depression in, SSRI out. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/176 "2012-10-28T23:28:25Z")
Once after I was hospitalized after a reaction to a drug, I went back for a visit with one of the old ones, this city’s preeminent psychiatrist. He chuckled and said “Heh, guess you weren’t faking it after all.” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea666f/32.png) [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_of_the_Dark)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/177 "2012-10-28T23:45:55Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > Once after I was hospitalized after a reaction to a drug, I went back for a visit with one of the old ones, this city’s preeminent psychiatrist. He chuckled and said “Heh, guess you weren’t faking it after all.” Are you virgin? Have you ever sex with a girl who isn’t prostitute? ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/178 "2012-10-28T23:46:20Z")
> [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](#): > > Are you virgin? Have you ever sex with a girl who isn’t prostitute? Yep. Nope. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/179 "2012-10-28T23:54:47Z")
> [@treis](#): > > You do not get to have 18 favorite movies. Ignore the whole of this post, but listen to this part. Wait, you’re a virgin? Dude, we gotta get you laid. Now that we’ve addressed what’s wrong with your OK Cupid profile, let’s work on you not trying to bone your friends and how not to come off as creepy in person. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea666f/32.png) [@Fear\_of\_the\_Dark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_of_the_Dark)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/180 "2012-10-28T23:55:12Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > Yep. Nope. You are 30 and you have not had sex with someone who is not prostitute. That’s sad, man! Truly sad. No pun or sarcasm intended. I am surprised at the fact that you haven’t committed suicide yet. What a horrible life you must live. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807.md?page=10)