# Almost 30, never had a relationship. Any advice?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [October 25, 2012, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807 "2012-10-25T11:10:16Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 15

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**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/almost-30-never-had-a-relationship-any-advice/638807/15 "2012-10-25T13:45:12Z")

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> [@gracer](#):
>
> Well, I did indicate I didn’t think I’d be very helpful. I should also add that there are two reason that I mentioned that:
> 
> 1. The “problem” is not anything I can deduce from his profile & description of himself. He sounds like a catch. There might be something else, but going by this he is perfectly dateable. It’s not like he’s asking what the problem in his dating life is and then describing how every time he takes his shoes of his date faints from the smell. That way we could give advice on what he might change. But he sounds good to go.
> 
> 2. As others have mentioned, confidence is important. If you get turned down all the time it’s easy to start thinking that there is something intrinsically wrong with you, that you are not attractive, that you are unlovable etc. The OP isn’t any of that. He sounds attractive to me. Confidence is attractive, knowing that you are attractive is attractive. Hey, someone (actually, 2 people!) on the internet “would” date you! Show it! 🙂
> 
> I get that you get tired of people saying this. Just know that it’s not sympathy, it’s true.

But the thing is he has been totally unsuccessful so far. 0 for 30 years. That is not normal for someone who seems to be a regular guy. He is doing something fundementally wrong. Maybe its his choices in women. Maybe its some vibe he is giving off. You can’t know what it is from the information given. You have not met him. You have no idea if you would date him. It is not helpful.

OP I don’t want to beat up on you. You do remind me of a younger version of someone I know. You don’t want to turn into him. Talk to someone in your life that you trust. Someone who will be brutally honest with you. Find out what you are doing wrong. And listen to them. If I had to guess I would say its probably some sort of combination of desperation and picking the wrong/out of your league women. But there is really no way to tell without knowing you. You are not going to get much useful advice here. Talk to people who know you.

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