# Alpaca Sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2024, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112 "2024-05-03T18:25:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2024, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/21 "2024-05-04T13:41:35Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > My girly bits are wincing now. My _manly_ bits are wincing now. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2024, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/22 "2024-05-04T13:51:44Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Observations of [alpaca](https://phys.org/tags/alpaca/) mating by breeders have led to suggestions that the male pushes his [penis](https://phys.org/tags/penis/) farther into the female than other mammals What other mammals was she entertaining? Adventurous! I’ve also heard that ducks and dolphins are not gentle lovers. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2024, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/23 "2024-05-04T15:17:43Z")
As long\* as we’re discussing other members\* of the animal kingdom, I thought I’d mention the tapir, which has come to some degree of notoriety due to its sizable and fully prehensile penis. \*hyuk-hyuk! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2024, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/24 "2024-05-04T16:54:01Z")
And let’s not forget the monotremes, with their double penes each with two heads. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2024, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/25 "2024-05-04T23:53:20Z")
If you’re curious about the appearance of the Alpaca penis (and the female reproductiv tract) there are pictures here: [https://academic.oup.com/icb/article/61/2/624/6273193](https://academic.oup.com/icb/article/61/2/624/6273193) # Intra-horn Penile Intromission in the Alpaca _Vicugna pacos_ and Consequences to Genital Morphology Patricia L R Brennan, Maya Sterett, Mary DiBuono, Genesis Lara Granados, Kay Klo, Rebecca Marsden, Pearl Schleinig, Louise Tanner, Stephen Purdy _Integrative and Comparative Biology_, Volume 61, Issue 2, August 2021, Pages 624–633, [https://doi.org/10.1093/icb/icab050](https://doi.org/10.1093/icb/icab050) Here’s more information in a fact sheet on Alpaca Sex from the British Alpaca Society. Yes, that actually exists [https://bas-uk.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Fact-Sheet-1-Reproduction.pdf](https://bas-uk.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Fact-Sheet-1-Reproduction.pdf) All of this makes me wonder about sex among other South American camelids – Llamas, Vicunas, and guanacos. There’s not much out there. Llamas are “dribble ejaculators”, which sounds insulting > **[Llamas are 'dribble ejaculators' who have sex sitting down](https://metro.co.uk/2015/03/01/llamas-are-dribble-ejaculators-who-have-sex-sitting-down-5084647/)** > > Planning on making a quick buck breeding llamas following the #LlamaDrama? Read this. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2024, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/26 "2024-05-05T00:18:29Z")
There are some things I wish I didn’t know.🦙 ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2024, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/27 "2024-05-05T03:23:55Z")
“Dribble Ejaculators” is NOT a good name for a band… ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2024, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/28 "2024-05-05T04:06:20Z")
Jack and the Dribblers? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2024, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/29 "2024-05-05T04:12:30Z")
Bonus points if there’s a llama stenciled onto the drum set. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2024, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/30 "2024-05-05T15:58:02Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Bonus points if there’s a llama stenciled onto the drum set. - And the drumsticks are… ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2024, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/31 "2024-05-06T03:10:43Z")
The bottom line, from my brother’s perspective, is this: If a woman tells a man “You’re hung like an alpaca,” she’s not paying him a very grand compliment. If, OTOH, her comment is “You make love like an alpaca,” then the man should feel exceptionally proud. I neither asked for nor received a significant amount of additional detail. But I got the gist. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2024, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/32 "2024-05-06T03:14:19Z")
A man should have seconds thoughts if she says that! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2024, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/33 "2024-05-06T11:16:32Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > If, OTOH, her comment is “You make love like an alpaca,” then the man should feel exceptionally proud. Scratching up the inside of her vagina is a _good_ thing? I’d think being told you made love like an alpaca would be a downright insult. ---
**Author:** ![El\_DeLuxo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_deluxo/32/9043_2.png) [@El\_DeLuxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_DeLuxo)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2024, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/34 "2024-05-06T14:33:43Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > All of this makes me wonder about sex among other South American camelids – Llamas, Vicunas, and guanacos. There’s not much out there. Well, my partner and I once visited a farm where they had llamas and emus. We were told to watch out for the brown male llama, who was running crazy around the site because their female llama was in season and _they had to separate them,_ _since llamas have really rough sex and end up kicking and biting the tar out of each other when they do the deed,_ so they couldn’t just let them go at it. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2024, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/35 "2024-05-06T17:10:46Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Scratching up the inside of her vagina is a _good_ thing? > > I’d think being told you made love like an alpaca would be a downright insult. Hell yes. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2024, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112/36 "2024-05-06T19:24:54Z")
Him, " Um, how would you know that?" [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alpaca-sex/1001112.md?page=1)