# Alphabetical how long to close the trail because of bears **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [June 27, 2023, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176 "2023-06-27T14:05:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/101 "2023-07-06T16:00:18Z")
**V** acillating bears: Trail will remain open. No, they’re closed. Wait, let’s leave them open. No, I think they should be closed. OK, then we’ll close the trails. Or maybe we’ll leave them open for a bit…? ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/102 "2023-07-06T16:29:15Z")
**W** ater bears - Trail remains open, just remember to STAY ON THE TRAIL. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/103 "2023-07-06T16:44:28Z")
Xylophone-playing bears: Keep trail open but charge admission. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/104 "2023-07-06T17:07:50Z")
**Y** ogi Bears. Trails are open, but campers are reminded to keep an eye on their pic-a-nic baskets. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/105 "2023-07-06T17:14:09Z")
ZZZZ Bears: The trail is open as long as you remember to tiptoe. In the forest, the mighty forest, the bear sleeps today. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/106 "2023-07-06T18:16:53Z")
**A** weemo-weh bears: Trails will be closed to protect hikers from acquiring debilitating ear worms. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/107 "2023-07-06T20:52:50Z")
**B**.b.b.b.bad to the bone bears. Rangers would shut the trail but are cowering in secured premises. Hikers can take a walk. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/108 "2023-07-06T21:31:13Z")
**C** hicago Bears. They don’t strike fear into the heart of _any_one, so no closures necessary. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/109 "2023-07-06T21:40:19Z")
**D** ing-dong bears: Trails are closed while authorities investigate reports of these bears running up to hikers and poking their nipples. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2023, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/110 "2023-07-06T22:00:57Z")
**E** lectrifying bears: trail is closed while bears’ chills stop multiplying. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/111 "2023-07-07T00:35:02Z")
> [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](#): > > **C** hicago Bears. > > They don’t strike fear into the heart of _any_one so no closures necessary. [![](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_svyHnXQqOn4OtcRoXqI-qYGBXgugBtnuVQ&usqp=CAU) ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_svyHnXQqOn4OtcRoXqI-qYGBXgugBtnuVQ&usqp=CAU) _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/112 "2023-07-07T00:38:40Z")
**F** ozzie Bears: The trail will remain open; however, the stand-up improv show for this evening has been cancelled. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/113 "2023-07-07T03:09:01Z")
**G** ladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear. Really a refugee from the “I Like Bananas a Bunch” thread. Be gentle with it. No need to close the trail. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/114 "2023-07-07T14:54:49Z")
**H** ulk Bears: Trails are open, but don’t make them angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/115 "2023-07-07T17:19:43Z")
**I** ndulgent bears Humour them, let them have your lunch or snack on the slowest moving of your tour group. It’s all for a good cause. Trails remain open. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/116 "2023-07-07T17:33:51Z")
**J** ehovah’s bears: Trail remains open, but you are advised to take an alternative route. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/117 "2023-07-07T19:29:26Z")
**K** id-friendly bears: They may look friendly but don’t let them approach children. Trails will be closed until they move on. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/118 "2023-07-07T19:45:10Z")
**L** anguid bears. Trails remain open, they’ve fattened up a bit and you aren’t worth the effort. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/119 "2023-07-07T20:47:08Z")
**M** ithril-Armoured +3 CR9 Assassin/Sorceror Half-Bears: While the game’s in session, the park is open; the bears are too busy rolling d20s to care about you. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2023, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176/120 "2023-07-07T21:22:47Z")
**N** osferatu bears - Trails are open during daylight hours only. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphabetical-how-long-to-close-the-trail-because-of-bears/986176.md?page=7)