# Alphagene can't take a girl calling him "dork" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 9, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399 "2001-04-09T20:27:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![you\_da\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@you\_da\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_da_man)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/1 "2001-04-09T20:27:42Z")
## quote: ## Originally posted by Cat and I I’m a she, dork. Then listen up, she-dork. The gratuitous insults are brilliant and all (“dork”? Twice?) but they’re really not appropriate for this forum, as you should know. They’re really not appropriate for any forum, even the Pit. Not that I’d expect you to have the nerve to actually set foot there, but if you’d like to continue calling me a dork, or you care to further muse about what my hormone levels would be in your little world, I recommend you do it there or nowhere at all. That “alpha” enough for ya? Thought so. ---
**Author:** ![you\_da\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@you\_da\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_da_man)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/2 "2001-04-09T20:36:13Z")
I should point out why she said that, because he was bragging, which was : > [@](#): > > And yes, I am an Alpha Male. I got first dibs on all the honies in the troop, and I’m the first to partake of the fetid deer carcass… > > Heh. As furthert proof of my alpha male status, witness a lesser member of the troop feeling threatened and attempting to establish dominance. > > :swat: So where can I add my little witty note now? Since Mr. He-Man locked the thread, I’ll have to put it here in the pit. It was supposed to be joking, but now it seems true. “Hmm… AOL Instant Messenger Handle: Alphagene22 Isn’t the 22nd letter Chi, as in “X”, the X-gene? :D” ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/3 "2001-04-09T20:51:35Z")
Two things here: First, I have no idea what the hell you are talking about. No links, botched quotes, and some random 3rd person. Second, I get the very strong impression that even if you had been crystal clear with your points, that this rant would still lick a dirty anus. Have a nice day. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/4 "2001-04-09T21:27:34Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=65794](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=65794) ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/5 "2001-04-09T21:29:50Z")
And you all thought _I_ had disjointed and rambling posts. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/6 "2001-04-09T21:37:34Z")
This reminds me … where the heck has bj0rn been hanging out lately? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/7 "2001-04-09T21:39:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CnoteChris \* > \*\*And you all thought _I_ had disjointed and rambling posts. > \*\* \ …Cnote…_we still do!_ 😃 \ And as to the OP and the Cat and I person: I strongly suggest a book that might help the both of you with your condition: Joseph Conrad’s The Heart of Dorkness\* Fenris ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/8 "2001-04-09T21:44:27Z")
Hey!! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/9 "2001-04-09T23:05:09Z")
Thanks for the link, Tech… Bizarre… Completely and utterly bizarre… Fenris, do you realy think ‘The Cat And I’ and ‘you da man’ could actually understand Heart of Darkness? I mean it’s full of all those ‘word’ things they they have such obvious trouble comprehending. ---
**Author:** ![Qixotica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Qixotica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qixotica)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/10 "2001-04-09T23:38:16Z")
_reads OP_ _reads linked thread_ _re-reads OP_ WTF? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/11 "2001-04-09T23:41:25Z")
“you da man?” No. You “da” sad loser with nothing better to do with your time than spam a messageboard, honeybunny. Please, lay off the crack, willya? Oh, and while you’re at it, please pull your head out of your ass, learn to form a coherent sentence in English, and find a screen name that _doesn’t_ show off your slavish devotion to a puerile and ill-formed perception of popular culture. “you da man?” Christ, what’s your next alias, “Whassup?” Or maybe “Whoomp, There It Is?” Hey maybve you can get really creative and call yourself “Where’s the Beef?” ---
**Author:** ![riley\_dieffenbach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@riley\_dieffenbach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/riley_dieffenbach)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/12 "2001-04-09T23:57:09Z")
WTF I am way confused - what does you da moron have to do with Cat and I. Are they the same person? Cohabitators? This may just end up in Weird Earl. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/13 "2001-04-10T00:36:10Z")
To follow up on **Fenris’** suggestion, I recommend that the OP guys view the film ARMY OF DORKNESS, read the chilling Barbara Vine novel A DORK ADAPTED EYE, and listen to several recordings of the marvelous improvisations of the Grateful Dead on “Dork Star.” ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/14 "2001-04-10T00:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tengu \* > **Fenris, do you realy think ‘The Cat And I’ and ‘you da man’ could actually understand Heart of Darkness? I mean it’s full of all those ‘word’ things they they have such obvious trouble comprehending.** :: airily :: Tengu, I’m disappointed in you. Didn’t you know that Heart of Dorkness was Conrad’s soul-stirring sequel to Heart of Darkness? It turns out that Kurtz didn’t die, but instead went through a strange transformation. Awakened at the dawn of the computer age in the '50s as a cyber-vampyre, Kurtz sucks the bytes out of early computers. Wonder where the chads went in early UNIVAC punch-cards? Now you know. Marlow, the narrator is back and this time, he’s MAD. He’s a cyber-vampyre hunter. A kung-fu smackdown concludes this intense novella. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/15 "2001-04-10T00:50:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*To follow up on **Fenris’** suggestion, I recommend that the OP guys view the film ARMY OF DORKNESS, read the chilling Barbara Vine novel A DORK ADAPTED EYE, and listen to several recordings of the marvelous improvisations of the Grateful Dead on “Dork Star.” \*\* Don’t forget Stephen King’s Dork Tower: The Nerdslinger series! And the Paul Simon song that starts out: Hello Dorkness, my old friend… Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/16 "2001-04-10T00:52:22Z")
Hell, I’m confused. I spent the first 6 posts thinking that **You da man** didn’t realize Alpha was the Pit Mod, until I realized he had incorrectly quoted **Alphagene** ’s reply. Now my head hurts, and I cannot possibly respect Da Man as a poster ever again. Dude, if you’re going to quote, click on the VB Code link at the bottom of your screen and do it right, okay? I heartily recommend reading The Dork Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams by Debbie Ford. It’s my mom’s favorite book and comes highly lauded. Not to point fingers or anything, but you are obviously stealing **Alphagene** ’s light. Give it back, dorkboy. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/17 "2001-04-10T00:57:33Z")
For some musical suggestions, may I recommend **Pink Flop** ’s album _Dork Side of the Moon_? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/18 "2001-04-10T01:00:04Z")
Don’t forget the news magazine show _Dorkline - NBC_ ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/19 "2001-04-10T01:00:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*but you are obviously stealing **Alphagene** ’s light. Give it back, dorkboy. \*\* Yeah, really. If he stubs a toe when he gets up in the night for a drink of water, we’re ALL in trouble around here. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/20 "2001-04-10T01:06:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*\Dude, if you’re going to quote, click on the VB Code link at the bottom of your screen and do it right, okay?\ \*\* THERE’S A VB CODE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN?!?!? How long has that been there? Sheesh, nobody tells me anything.(Yes, I fully intend to blame everyone else for my overlooking the obvious for, let’s see, 7 months now.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399.md?page=2)