# Alphagene can't take a girl calling him "dork" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 9, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399 "2001-04-09T20:27:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/21 "2001-04-10T01:25:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **Tengu, I’m disappointed in you. Didn’t you know that Heart of Dorkness was Conrad’s soul-stirring sequel to Heart of Darkness?** Gwaaaaaaaaaah. Oh, the irony… ::Sigh:: Now we know why I rarely flame…I always manage to bobble the ball. ::Ponders pretending he was asleep:: Nah… ::Ponders pretending he thought Fenris had typod:: Nah…Missing a pun because I missed the 1-letter difference is less embarrassing than missing it just because it didn’t click. Oy… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/22 "2001-04-10T01:34:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tengu \* > \*\*Missing a pun because I missed the 1-letter difference is less embarrassing than missing it just because it didn’t click. > \*\* Aaahh…don’t feel bad, happens to the best of us. And if you think _these_ puns are bad, wait’ll **wring** gets here. She’s the current SDMB reigning Pun-dit. (Although I may challenge her to a rematch in a few weeks. Anyway, I recommend you just lay back, take a break from puns and read Ray Bradbury’s masterpiece: Dork Carnival. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/23 "2001-04-10T02:19:13Z")
Hmm, when I first read the OP’s posts I thought they made perfect sense. Now I can understand why some people have called my posts incomprehensible:D ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/24 "2001-04-10T02:42:09Z")
> [@](#): > > THERE’S A VB CODE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN?!?!? How long has that been there? Sheesh, nobody tells me anything.(Yes, I fully intend to blame everyone else for my overlooking the obvious for, let’s see, 7 months now.) Don’t worry, my friend. I didn’t notice it until January, and that was only after a friend pointed out the one for Smilies (I was confined to 🙂 for ten long months. Now I can roll my eyes and laugh, too. The new and improved Nacho Figurine will be coming to stores near you shortly.) Ike - Maybe Alpha is stealing You Da Dork’s light. Maybe you’re stealing mine. 😕 This is why my mom reads self-help books and I stew in self-recrimination and hatred, topped with a light, zesty cheese sauce. ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/25 "2001-04-10T04:24:11Z")
I’m guessing he prefers dork beer. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/26 "2001-04-10T06:51:12Z")
Oh, c’mon, people, even though the OP obviously lacks any semblance of sentient intelligence or creativity whatsoever, at the VERY least the OP is punctual. Look at the schedule… we’re right on time for a Mod-bashing thread. 'Course, the OP is still a jackass. ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/27 "2001-04-10T07:10:45Z")
It’s getting pretty dork in here. ::lights a candle:: ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/28 "2001-04-10T08:13:42Z")
OK, I hate to call the OP a liar [that’s code for: the OP is either dumb or a liar or a big dumb liar], but as a girl that has lived with Alphagene, I have to say he can not only take being called a dork by a girl, he can handle far worse. He can take being called a girl by a dork, even. You can let loose on Alphagene, and he’s still going to make you [you, meaning the OP or the Cat and I or their caretakers or whatever] look like the dillhole you are. Sucks, huh? Next time, try operating a brain cell or two. Not ONLY might you make some sense, you might remember to wipe the drool from your chin. Thanks, sweetcheeks. If it’s that important for you to waste everyone’s time, why don’t you just try telemarketing? ---
**Author:** ![hashiriya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hashiriya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hashiriya)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/29 "2001-04-10T09:47:58Z")
Too much time in front of the TV watching re-runs of “Dork & Mindy”? Get a grip dude. -hashiriya- ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/30 "2001-04-10T11:16:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Valerieblaise \* > \*\*If it’s that important for you to waste everyone’s time, why don’t you just try telemarketing? \*\* The bourbon’s on me if I can have that line as a sig VB. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/31 "2001-04-10T12:17:19Z")
The problem with getting to the board in the mid-morning is that you miss these threads when they’re fresh and ready for reply. Sigh. Always dorkiest before the dawn. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/32 "2001-04-10T12:56:11Z")
I’ve always thought of **Alphgene** as tall, dork and handsome, my self. (hi **Fenris** looking forward to a rematch - my son, however thinks I need a new hobby) ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/33 "2001-04-10T12:56:12Z")
Um? “Dillhole”? I have these horrible visions of pickles and… No. I can’t say it. I’m ashamed to have even **thought** it. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/34 "2001-04-10T14:03:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > **The new and improved Nacho Figurine will be coming to stores near you shortly.** Licensed by Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Dorks[sup]R[/sup], only 4 easy payments of $39.95 each! [sub]hee[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/35 "2001-04-10T14:23:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by you da man \* > \*\*So where can I add my little witty note now? > \*\* You had planned to say something clever? _Do_ let us know if you get around to it, dorkwad. [sub][sup](Hey! Alpha’s no dork. He’s a hottie! :D)[/sub][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/36 "2001-04-10T14:29:41Z")
"Do you find it amuthing to know that I have a fwiend named Bigguth Dorkuth? He hasth a wife you know…" ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/37 "2001-04-10T14:33:44Z")
**you da man** the OTHER dork meat. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/38 "2001-04-10T14:35:03Z")
Whoa. I don’t think I’ve read any posts by **Valerieblaise** previously, but that telemarketer quip made my morning. 😃 Thank you! Also, to show off my newbieskillz 😉 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Nacho4Sara_ > Maybe Alpha is stealing You Da Dork’s light. Maybe you’re stealing mine. 😕 This is why my mom reads self-help books and I stew in self-recrimination and hatred, topped with a light, zesty cheese sauce. I bet yer mom and mine hang out in the same self-help e-groups. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/39 "2001-04-10T14:39:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > He hasth a wife you know…" That’d be Impedimentia Budorks, right? ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399/40 "2001-04-10T15:33:17Z")
I still want to know what happened to bj0rn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-cant-take-a-girl-calling-him-dork/61399.md?page=3)