# Alphagene is new co-mod of the Pit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530 "2000-05-25T18:37:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ed\_Zotti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/fbc32d/32.png) [@Ed\_Zotti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ed_Zotti)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/1 "2000-05-25T18:37:27Z")
Please join me in welcoming Alphagene as co-moderator of the Pit. Lynn Bodoni as many of you know is recovering from major surgery and wants to take life a little easier (although she’ll continue to monitor the Pit and participate in SDMB administration). Alphagene has always struck us as a smart, level-headed guy, but if you must know the proximate reason he got this job was the following exchange. Somebody said: > [@](#): > > In the time and place where I grew up, having a bra strap showing said “slut”. To which Alphagene replied: > [@](#): > > In the time and place you grew up, having a stick to extract and eat termites said “advanced tool user”. > > Welcome to the Holocene I signed him up on the spot. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/2 "2000-05-25T18:51:03Z")
YES! I knew that bribe in Chicago would pay off. 😉 Now I know FOUR mods personally! Wooohoo! (Like it’ll do me any good…) Congrats Alpha, you fucker. ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/3 "2000-05-25T19:04:38Z")
This is truly a glorious day. Congrats, Alphie! (You ruled the pit the whole time, anyway) ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/4 "2000-05-25T19:30:24Z")
Alphagene? In the Pit? It’s so crazy that it just might work! Congrats, Alpha. I’m very happy for you. Since you don’t drink coffee, can I have the mug? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/5 "2000-05-25T19:41:17Z")
Can’t think of a better Pit-Master! Hope Lynn’s feeling better, though . . . Oops, sorry, this IS the Pit . . . You should both grow like onions, with your heads in the ground and your feet in the air! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/6 "2000-05-25T20:00:15Z")
And since you usually go around naked, can I have the tee shirt? Break a leg, **Alphagene,** and hearty congratulations! (Lessee…I have now personally gotten shitface drunk with…{counts on fingers}…a whole HELL of a lot of moderators and administrators…) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/7 "2000-05-25T20:24:28Z")
Lick my ass, fuckwad. (Which, in non-Pit, translates to “Congratulations, Alphagene.” You have to be very careful in the pronunciation of ‘fuckwad’; if pronounced as two seperate words, say like ‘fuck wad’, one actually says “Satan, your dick is as large as my horse’s. I have immense respect for your genitaliar accomplishments,” and I’d _never_ want to be accused of saying that.) ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/8 "2000-05-25T20:39:44Z")
Thanks for the intro, Ed. I would like to say first off that I would like to be known as the guy who put the “mod” into “moderator”. Also, in the tradition of your co-moderator Lynn “Bodini” Bodoni, bribery is not only allowed, it is _encouraged_. It would be worth your while. The Straight Dope has installed a huge red flashing button the size of my fist labelled “BAN POSTER” to my PC. And while I am capable of restraint, I have to admit, it is very tempting. Cigarettes are not to be used as currency. Anyone caught using cigarettes as currency will spend a week in the hole. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/9 "2000-05-25T20:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > The Straight Dope has installed a huge red flashing button the size of my fist labelled “BAN POSTER” to my PC. And while I am capable of restraint, I have to admit, it is very tempting. Beautimous. Less than three hours and the greasy haired doofus is already lording his power over us. What a sucko. Fucking tyrant. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/10 "2000-05-25T21:31:06Z")
Go ahead, ban me you prick. I’ve got friends in high places now. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/11 "2000-05-25T21:35:58Z")
In the words of those highly advanced green tentacled aliens that always bug the Simpsons… “Holy Flurking Shnit!” We’ve got Moderators up the yin-yang now (and, boy, is it uncomfortable). Congrats to ‘em all (Alpha and Unclebeer alike… lucky bastards…). Here’s to some good Moderatin’! By the way, Alpha, what CAN be used as currency? Cowry shells? 128-meg RAM chips? Subscriptions to “Playdope”? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/12 "2000-05-25T21:52:09Z")
Alpha, I just want to apologize for all the times I’ve pissed you off. Now ease the mouse off the red button please… ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/13 "2000-05-25T21:55:07Z")
Gee, next thing you know, i’ll be a moderator. Nahh…seems like kinda a boring job to me. Have fun alphagene and your brother betagene and how could forget Omegagene. Sorry I can’t seem to hold my train of thought today for more than 13 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/14 "2000-05-25T22:30:21Z")
And that’s different than any other day how, Silo?? Anyhoo, Congrats Alpha, I trust you’ll keep this place the dark, desolate, ummmm, pit that it is. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/15 "2000-05-25T22:50:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Cigarettes are not to be used as currency. Anyone caught using cigarettes as currency will spend a week in the hole. Then give me back the smokes you mooched off me in Chicago, fuckwad. Oh, excuse me, that should be “Your Most High and Mighty, Fuck Wad.” ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/16 "2000-05-25T22:59:26Z")
Congratulations, Alphagene! I know you’ll do a great job! Oh, wait…this _is_ the Pit…okay, here goes: You’re such a motherfucker! How was that? Maybe I should ask Satan for lessons? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/17 "2000-05-25T23:48:12Z")
While I wholeheartedly congratulate Alphagene on his promotion, I am also worried. See, the Pit is a very hostile environment. I would hate to see a spontaneous, caring and happy lad like Alphagene turn into a mysanthropic, sarcastic son of a bitch because of Pit Overexposure. Who am I kidding 😃 Congrats, you lame scrote! ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/18 "2000-05-25T23:57:35Z")
> [@](#): > > By the way, Alpha, what CAN be used as currency? Hmm… I dunno, but Simpsons references are a great way to gain my respect. > [@](#): > > Congrats Alpha, I trust you’ll keep this place the dark, desolate, ummmm, pit that it is. I have also been specifically requested to maintain the “dank”. > [@](#): > > Alpha, I just want to apologize for all the times I’ve pissed you off. I wouldn’t worry, Pundit. I don’t even see your name on my Must Destroy list. So you’re probably not on my Crush Like a Bug List either. And those cigarettes weren’t for me, Cristi. I gave it to the red-hot geriatric waitress I was working. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/19 "2000-05-26T02:38:35Z")
Congrats to ya Alpha. Bite me. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/20 "2000-05-26T04:38:58Z")
How many more posts do I have to make before _I_ get to be a moderator? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530.md?page=2)