# Alphagene is new co-mod of the Pit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530 "2000-05-25T18:37:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aceospades](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Aceospades](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aceospades)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/21 "2000-05-26T05:46:36Z")
Ohh, but Moe, not the dank. Not the dank! ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/22 "2000-05-26T05:51:49Z")
Congratsaloha Alphagene! A more brilliant choice, I cantfuckin imagine. This doesn’t mean you can’t hurl off the mod hat and course invective though, does it? :::wringing hands::: That would be a sad occasion. ---
**Author:** ![VaHermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ed655f/32.png) [@VaHermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VaHermit)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/23 "2000-05-26T08:18:53Z")
Alphagene I haven’t had the pleasure of getting into any discussions with you yet, but you stuck up for my question in GQ and that’s good enough for me. Congratulations, I’m sure you’ll make a great pit master. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/24 "2000-05-26T08:32:55Z")
Oh, dear GOD! NOOOOOOOOO!!! They said the evil would spread like syphilis on the wind! And now, this! Surely, this is more foul than herpes, more evil than crabs! This is a hideous social disease… Anyone got a condom? Best! Byz (Slut of the ages, whore of the world, bitch of all that is bitchy.) (But really, a nice person.) (Sucker!) ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/25 "2000-05-26T08:41:44Z")
Earlier tonight (actually, last night…I’ve been spending too goddamn much time on this board), I congratulated Alphagene on his appointment as co-moderator. I wanted to be especially respectful of him and his awesome power, and be careful to toe the line, especially given his feelings on new posters: \*\* “From now on, no-one is allowed to post until they have at least 50 posts.”–Alphagene \*\* A few minutes ago, I posted message number 52… \*\* HEY, ALPHAGENE, BITE ME!!! \*\* 😉 After all, this IS the Pit! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/26 "2000-05-26T09:08:18Z")
Congrats Alpha, I hope your balls swell up to the size of grapefruits and you lose the use of your appendix. well done! ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/27 "2000-05-26T14:26:25Z")
Cool. Congratulations. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/28 "2000-05-26T15:39:04Z")
Alphagene, you have been given power to control the pit, you have been given a button more awesome than the white house. As you traverse across the desert of the pit, may your caravan travel safely, and may you never be downwind of the spitting camel. Shit, this is the PIT after all. May your camel pass gas with every step, and may the desert winds carry it directly to your nostrils, you scum! Sili ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/29 "2000-05-28T07:11:37Z")
Such a pussy fucking bastard. Worthless piece of shit. Couldn’t have happened to a more useless bag of douche. Fucking queef. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Hmm… I dunno, but Simpsons references are a great way to gain my respect. Hmm… you must worship me, then. I am a walking Simpsons reference. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/30 "2000-05-28T19:53:51Z")
Congrats Alphagene, now will you hold my purse for a minute ? ::running away:: ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/31 "2000-05-29T00:40:41Z")
_sigh_ For some reason people think **I** am the one who started the thread in the pit bitching about all the crap women keep in their purses. I will say this once: **It was Omniscient** , not me. Omniscient. The proof can be found in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=6348). Not only that, I think you will find that I **defended** purse owners everywhere while shooting off a now legendary flame directed at Omni (see the second post on the second page). The observer will notice that many of my flames tend to feature an anthropology theme. Future apology accepted. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/32 "2000-05-29T01:44:33Z")
OK, Alphagene, I apologise, but will you hold my purse anyway ? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/33 "2000-05-29T02:09:16Z")
Well, I guess congratulations to your new job. > [@](#): > > \*\* > I wouldn’t worry, Pundit. I don’t even see your name on my Must Destroy list. So you’re probably not on my Crush Like a Bug List either.\*\* Who is on your “Must Destroy List” and your “Crush Like a Bug List”? It might be interesting to see exactly who should watch what they say. Oh yes, this is the pit…suck my nut and eat shit fucker. (I wish you the most in your new position) ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/34 "2000-05-30T05:17:24Z")
So, you carry a purse? What’s in it? Tampons? Do you use them to blot your lips after you vomit all over the pit? Or just women? Have you stopped beating your wife yet? What about your boyfriend? Do the scales of justice hurt your hands yet or is the fire from syphilis? When are you going to stop farting? Is it a medical condition or just for fun? So, Hate me yet? Why are you breathing hard? Is it congenital or herpes? Bye! (Running for MPSIMS knowing that you can only fuck with the new moderator for a few (weeks? months?) Hey, what happened to all my posts? Why was my name– ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/35 "2000-05-30T22:45:49Z")
Congradulations Alphagene…Here is your squeeky Mallet and rubber chicken. Please don’t use them in the manner that we know you…ugh, too late…At least you could clean off the d\*mn chicken afterwards! Eech. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Parrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Parrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parrot)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/36 "2000-05-30T23:15:56Z")
Yes! Kind words! What they said above, me too! (What did you expect from a parrot - Shakespeare? I’ve got enough trouble hunt and pecking the keys.) ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/37 "2000-05-31T04:31:01Z")
Comets spew fired from the skies, the earth shakes, crows fly backwards and politicians refuse bribes… Alphagene co-moderating the pit; it’s a sign. I’m not sure what _kind_ of sign, but it wouldn’t suprise me to read that Hummel collections spontaneously exploded in homes here and abroad; 'ittle bitty porecelain fragments of apple-cheeked tots and furry kittens hurtling like shrapnel. :::backs away _sloooowly_::: Well, congratulations, Alpha. It’s a match made in…Kafka? (Sartre: “Hell is other people.”?) And you did _too_ get pissy in Omni’s “purse” thread! He ranted and wanted to know what women carried in them; when they answered you accused (yes! accused!) respondants of hogging bandwidth. Being anthropological in tone lately, you should appreciate the need for rappelling gear, snakebite kits, Finno-Ugric dictionaries… :::runs like hell, grouping in her purse for wolfbane::: Veb ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/38 "2000-05-31T05:35:08Z")
Oh Veb, I recognize the importance of purses to the ladies. I just didn’t want detailed list after detailed list of what flavor of Tic-Tacs each woman has in her purse. You got chapstick in your purse? Swell. Do I care? No. By the way, the exploding Hummel imagery was a nice touch. ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530/39 "2000-05-31T10:07:39Z")
BTW, Veb, what flavor chapstick do you carry in your purse? And did you know that chapstick can be used to lubricate stuck zippers, windows, and drawer slides? Stop bleeding from shaving nicks? Moisturize facial skin to prevent windburn? Remove a ring stuck on your finger? Groom a mustache or eyebrows? Lubricate nails and screws? Shine leather shoes? Prevent hair coloring from dyeing your skin? ([Wacky Uses](http://www.wackyuses.com/index.html) Poor men, consigned to a life without purses because of old-fashioned chauvinistic attitudes - they’re never properly equipped to deal with life’s little emergencies.🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alphagene-is-new-co-mod-of-the-pit/20530.md?page=1)