# Alright, this is how my hamburger(s) should be **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 10, 2018, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737 "2018-10-10T03:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/61 "2018-10-10T22:05:13Z")
LOL I too was a meat and bread sandwich eater. I finally began experimenting with sauces and veg toppings in college. I have no idea why my childhood self had that phobia. Wasted so much time scrapping off every speck of mayo or mustard. I don’t really care how others eat a sandwich. They paid for it and it’s none of my business. I really like mayo & mustard on my sandwiches and burgers. Ketchup is ok on a burger but I would never add it myself. The one thing I still remove is onions. I’ve tried them many times and just don’t like them. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/62 "2018-10-10T22:13:58Z")
I’m actually a little surprised by all the distaste or lack of preference for cheese here (assuming non-religious reasons in most cases.) To me, there’s just something missing without that lovely gooeyness and saltiness melted cheese offers. While I mentioned American cheese above, I’ve been known to like to slather on some nice Merkt’s cheddar spread on a burger, too! I’ve tried going the purist route of hamburgers without cheese (which are, I guess, just “hamburgers”), but I always feel like I’m being cheated. (Though, on the other hand, I don’t like cheese with my roast beef sandwiches, so go figure.) ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/63 "2018-10-10T22:41:33Z")
I’ve always loved cheese. Grilled cheese was a childhood favorite. Back then American cheese was the only option for burgers. These days I sometimes use Cheddar or provolone on deli sandwiches. Cheddar, Colby or American are nice on a burger. ---
**Author:** ![Sloe\_Moe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sloe\_Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sloe_Moe)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/64 "2018-10-10T22:47:27Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > Stop worrying about what other people eat. They tend to serve me what other people… ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/65 "2018-10-10T22:53:40Z")
Swiss is the proper cheese of choice for a burger. Chedder is acceptable. I’ll still eat american if it is already on there, but I sure as hell won’t order it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Sloe\_Moe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sloe\_Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sloe_Moe)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/66 "2018-10-10T22:55:16Z")
Where are the sensible ones? Put something as alien as ketsup, mayonaisse, or mustard on a burger and it stops tasting like cooked ground beef. Adding anything else just takes the good beef taste farther away. I think I’m acquiring the taste buds of a python. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/67 "2018-10-10T23:25:13Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Some of us fo not like fat, flavor or not. I can understand not wanting fat. I honestly can’t understand not **liking** it. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2018, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/68 "2018-10-10T23:42:32Z")
I don’t like the chewy, slimy texture of fat. When I eat a steak, I’ll cut off and leave the fat. But once it is ground up into a patty, I’m fine with it. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/69 "2018-10-11T02:39:23Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > [This](http://www.in-n-out.com/menu.aspx) is the ideal. > > Making one at home: 80/20 ground chuck, mixed 75/25 with hot Italian sausage. Grill to medium-well and serve on a good-sized sesame seed bun, with mustard, ketchup, grilled onions, shredded lettuce and maybe a little relish. Eat with lots of relish! Since first reading your burger recipe, I have tinkered with it just a little. I changed the ratio to 2/3rds ground chuck and 1/3 ground Italian sausage. I grill it over charcoal mixed with a few apple wood chunks for some smoke flavor, then add some provolone cheese a minute or two before pulling it off the grill. I put it on a lightly toasted bun and garnish it with [Mancini Tangy Peppers and Sauce](https://www.amazon.com/Mancini-Tangy-Pepper-Sauce-Oz/dp/B014U7TPXQ?th=1) ---
**Author:** ![Sloe\_Moe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sloe\_Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sloe_Moe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/70 "2018-10-11T02:46:49Z")
There was one old lady who used to make a toad-in-the-hole. Just a meatball of ground pork and chopped bacon embedded into the beef patty. That’s when we really enjoyed eating the patty on its own, with some slices of bread. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/71 "2018-10-11T03:40:36Z")
A strong NO to anything that makes the bun soggy. So, toasted bun, thick medium rare patty, sharp white cheddar, bacon and/or pastrami - thin slice of red onion. Pepper & salt. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/72 "2018-10-11T04:54:55Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > [This](http://www.in-n-out.com/menu.aspx) is the ideal. I will NEVER understand why people are crazy over their burgers. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/73 "2018-10-11T05:23:47Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > I don’t like the chewy, slimy texture of fat. When I eat a steak, I’ll cut off and leave the fat. THIS, I do understand. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/74 "2018-10-11T05:25:58Z")
Things that make the bun soggy are OK with me, if the bun is the type that can take it without falling apart. There are different styles of burgers IMO, and each style, done right, is worth eating. Well, not each style cause some styles i don’t like… YKWIM. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/75 "2018-10-11T06:32:19Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > I will NEVER understand why people are crazy over their burgers. Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/76 "2018-10-11T11:34:09Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > I will NEVER understand why people are crazy over their burgers. This is a common sentiment. But, yes, like **silenus** , I pretty much find them the perfect hamburger. If I were limited to eating one hamburger for the rest of my life, it would be one from there. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/77 "2018-10-11T11:38:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > In a burger patty, you’re only talking about 30 calories difference between 20% fat and lean. To each his own, of course, but a lean beef patty is like sawdust for me. 🙂 I don’t care a bit about calories. I do not like the taste/texture/concept of fat. I love the taste of rare filet mignon, and prefer it to a NewYork Strip, where I have to trim off and throw away fat. To each his own! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/78 "2018-10-11T12:44:51Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I’m actually a little surprised by all the distaste or lack of preference for cheese here (assuming non-religious reasons in most cases.) To me, there’s just something missing without that lovely gooeyness and saltiness melted cheese offers. While I mentioned American cheese above, I’ve been known to like to slather on some nice Merkt’s cheddar spread on a burger, too! I’ve tried going the purist route of hamburgers without cheese (which are, I guess, just “hamburgers”), but I always feel like I’m being cheated. (Though, on the other hand, I don’t like cheese with my roast beef sandwiches, so go figure.) Definitely not religious for me. In the abstract I like the idea: burgers are a decadent treat, and adding a bunch more fat to it oughtta make it even better, right? So bacon, cheese, onions grilled in beef fat should be bonus. Except they’re not. I think it just tips the balance too far for me, or something. The burger’s delicious greasy heaviness needs lots of vegetables and acid condiments to offset it; add more greasy heaviness and it just isn’t as delicious to me. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/79 "2018-10-11T13:54:57Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > The burger’s delicious greasy heaviness needs lots of vegetables and acid condiments to offset it; add more greasy heaviness and it just isn’t as delicious to me. I get what you’re saying and of course you should eat what works for you. When I want to get my beef bliss though, I want a steak. Either on or off a bun. Just last night, I had a wonderful grilled, thin cut ribeye on a toasted kaiser with just a touch or horseradish mayo. Burgers and burger bliss are different though. It’s not about the beef. It’s about the combined whole. Beef plus cheese plus toasted bun plus fixins definitely equals something greater than the sum of its parts. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737/80 "2018-10-11T14:13:08Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Definitely not religious for me. In the abstract I like the idea: burgers are a decadent treat, and adding a bunch more fat to it oughtta make it even better, right? So bacon, cheese, onions grilled in beef fat should be bonus. > > Except they’re not. I think it just tips the balance too far for me, or something. The burger’s delicious greasy heaviness needs lots of vegetables and acid condiments to offset it; add more greasy heaviness and it just isn’t as delicious to me. I’m definitely with you on the bacon. Don’t put bacon anywhere near my burger. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-this-is-how-my-hamburger-s-should-be/822737.md?page=5)