# Alright. Whats in Caligula that is so bad?!?!? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 11, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841 "2001-10-11T18:23:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/1 "2001-10-11T18:23:23Z")
In this thread [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=92424](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=92424) people keep bringing up Caligula as a movie to never watch due to the gross out factor or something. I myself have never seen the movie. I’ve been trying to download clips from gnutella with no luck. I have to know… WHAT KIND OF STUFF is in it that is so bad!!! I need details… please… its killing me. I didn’t want to muck up the porn thread so I’m starting a new one. ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/2 "2001-10-11T18:34:55Z")
Thank god, **Whammo**. I thought I was the only one dying to know. ::sits down to wait for a good, detailed description:: ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/3 "2001-10-11T18:41:14Z")
IIRC, in the unedited version, a man is actually castrated. It also may be that time has passed, and what was deemed unaaceptable then would hardly raise an eyebrow now. screech-owl (who has seen parts of the edited version) ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/4 "2001-10-11T18:42:03Z")
From what I remember of the movie, it had gratuitous sex and violence, a cool girl-girl scene, more gratuitous sex and violence, drunken parties. I really can’t think of anything in it that was _bad_. 'Course, I’m no film critic or anything. But it seemed to have everything that I look for in a nice, wholesome movie. 😃 It sorta reminded me of…college. Except for the cool lesbian scene. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/5 "2001-10-11T18:50:51Z")
I’m not sure you’re old enough to know. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/6 "2001-10-11T19:00:05Z")
I watched Caligula several times back in the 80s and there was a _lot_ of sex and sadism in it. If you cut all the sex out of it Caligula it would last 27 minutes and make no sense at all. In one scene Caligula fisted another guy and fucked his fiance. There was the incest subplot and strangling Tiberius too. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/7 "2001-10-11T19:01:07Z")
The worst – they took Gore Vidal’s script and rewrote it!!! Oh, and some other stuff – hard-core porn. A soldier having his penis tied off so he can’t urinate, then being slashed in the belly. Anal rape of a husband on his wedding day with wedding banquet condiments. A Fellini-esque decapitating machine. I can’t recall what else, it’s been too long. Unsavory stuff, though. If you really want to see the story of Caligula, see the relevant episodes of **I, Claudius** , with John Hurt playing the big C. Or read Suetonius’ **The Twelve Caesars**. Apparently, even a deviant like Caligula actually put in a long working day on boring administrative issues, and heard the requests of individual citizens. That would be enough to drive anyone nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/8 "2001-10-11T19:02:33Z")
Wasn’t Caligula the Roman emperor who impregnated his sister, then (following the mythology), was afraid the child would grow up to usurp him, chained his sister up and sliced open her womb, and ate the fetus? I know someone did that…I heard it was in _I Claudius_ but never got up to that part of it. I know Caligula did a lot of weird things… ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/9 "2001-10-11T19:33:36Z")
[Biography of the Roman Emperor Caligula (12-41)](http://www.xs4all.nl/~kvenjb/madmonarchs/caligula/caligula_bio.htm): A pretty short yet good biography on him. I also read that on October 30th, there’s an A&E Biography on him. The worst I’ve heard about the movie is the extreme violence and the hard porn. Gore Vidal walked out when he saw what the director was doing to his movie. After the filming was done, the director and some others put in a bunch of porn that many of the actors had no idea about. In fact, Malcolm McDowell wouldn’t even talk about the movie for at least fifteen years (he only stayed on because of Gore Vidal but when Vidal left, he was stuck doing the picture). Roger Ebert gave it one star (it’s in his book **I Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie** ). ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/10 "2001-10-11T19:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jack@ss \* > **strangling Tiberius** Is that what they called masterbation back in Roman times? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/11 "2001-10-11T19:41:39Z")
I-haven’t-seen-the-whole-movie-cause-I-turned-it-off-after-I-was-completly-grossed-out-by-the-fisting-scene.He-rammed-his-fist-down-into-a-vat-of-butter-and-then-brutally-fisted-the-poor-guy.Holy-shit-that-sort-of-thing-requires-just-a-bit-of-finesse.Where-is-the-love? ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/12 "2001-10-11T19:49:27Z")
> [@](#): > > **Is that what they called masterbation back in Roman times?** Great Caesar’s Ghost, **xizor** , my boss thought I was choking on something. Congratulations, you’re the first person to have made me laugh out loud at work! ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/13 "2001-10-11T19:50:03Z")
Man that was a bad movie. I had a friend recomend it to me, and next time I saw him he laughed his ass off that i had actually watched it. Apparently, his recomendation was a cruel joke. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/14 "2001-10-11T19:53:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bean\_shadow \* > Roger Ebert gave it one star (it’s in his book **I Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie** ). If I’m not mistaken he gave it NO STARS. It was right up there with I Spit On Your Grave as the worst movies ever in Roger’s eyes. God I love that book. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/15 "2001-10-11T20:04:30Z")
More obscene stuff: Not only was Malcolm MacDowell in it (as Caligula), but it also had Peter O’Toole(!!!) as an emperor and John Gielgud (!!!) as Tiberius. I’ll bet this stuff never ended up in their Playbill bios. O’Toole, by the way, wearing really bad makeup, is the one who ties off the Roman soldier’s penis. Quite a comedown from Lawrence of Arabia, Lord Jim, and Henry II (twice). ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/16 "2001-10-11T20:07:47Z")
From what I heard, the worst thing in _Caligula_ was the acting. (Haven’t seen it myself, but I wouldn’t mind a collection of the girl-girl and orgy highlights… 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/17 "2001-10-11T20:22:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Originally posted by CalMeacham \*\* > _Not only was Malcolm MacDowell in it (as Caligula), but it also had Peter O’Toole(!!!) as an emperor and John Gielgud (!!!) as Tiberius. I’ll bet this stuff never ended up in their Playbill bios._ Peter O’Toole played Tiberius and John Gielgud played Nerva, although any confusion as to who played who is easily explained, because practically every actor in the film wished to be disassociated from the finished article. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/18 "2001-10-11T20:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bean\_shadow \* > \*\*[Biography of the Roman Emperor Caligula (12-41)](http://www.xs4all.nl/~kvenjb/madmonarchs/caligula/caligula_bio.htm): A pretty short yet good biography on him. I also read that on October 30th, there’s an A&E Biography on him. > > The worst I’ve heard about the movie is the extreme violence and the hard porn. Gore Vidal walked out when he saw what the director was doing to his movie. After the filming was done, the director and some others put in a bunch of porn that many of the actors had no idea about. In fact, Malcolm McDowell wouldn’t even talk about the movie for at least fifteen years (he only stayed on because of Gore Vidal but when Vidal left, he was stuck doing the picture). Roger Ebert gave it one star (it’s in his book **I Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie** ). \*\* If they put porn in AFTER the filming was done, and the actors didn’t know about it, how do you explain the fisting scene? Or was a stunt double used? I saw this movie on a FIRST DATE!!! I was 19, and had no idea what it was about. It was playing at some tiny little theater in Georgetown, DC, so we went on in. Unedited version. Good grief. Sheri ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/19 "2001-10-11T20:54:16Z")
well, lets see, what makes Caligula so bad? the acting the music the dialog last and least, the themes (and graphic footage) of incest, sadism, torture yada yada yada. thats what everybody gets worked up about, but the movie in general is a real stinker! the “added after production” porno stuff is the best part of the movie! it just doesn’t flow with the picture and is obviously tacked on. by the way, this movie is always a good seller on ebay! i figure there are a bunch of curious people out there… ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841/20 "2001-10-11T20:58:20Z")
I haven’t seen Caligula, but I looked it up on The Internet Movie Database, and here’s some info to make those of you who have seen it already, cringe… [quote] [li]The original unrated version is 156 minutes long; a R-rated version is available on video minus 41 (!) minutes of sex scenes.[/li] [li] **At the Cannes film festival an original unadulterated 210-minutes version was shown.** [/li][/quote] :eek: for more info: [http://us.imdb.com/AlternateVersions?0080491](http://us.imdb.com/AlternateVersions?0080491) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whats-in-caligula-that-is-so-bad/86841.md?page=2)