# Alright, WHO'S Got My Remote? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611 "2000-12-29T02:10:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/1 "2000-12-29T02:10:27Z")
My remote is AWOL. I can’t find it anywhere. Have any of you guys seen it? I’d really like it back. It is SUCH a pain in the arse to get up and change the channel. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/2 "2000-12-29T02:14:01Z")
I have your remote—aaa-hahahaha (evil laugh) and I’m holding it hostage until I get large quantities of CHOCOLATE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Call\_Me\_Tech-Mex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@Just\_Call\_Me\_Tech-Mex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Call_Me_Tech-Mex)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/3 "2000-12-29T02:15:32Z")
I can change your channels with my garage-door opener. Where do you live? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/4 "2000-12-29T02:19:29Z")
_gasp_ _A female has touched a remote!_ Must offer sacrifices to the Infra-red Gods! :::binds and trusses up Persephone::: Oh, Great Ones, please forgive our carelessness! We pray you, do not send thy murderous wrath down upon us. Instead, take this heathen female as our offering, we beseech thee! :::prostrates himself in front of the TV::: May thy light shine and entertain, may the unholy commercials remain unseen, and may the Lifetime channel be transformed into All Eastwood–All The Time, now and forever, amen. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/5 "2000-12-29T02:20:39Z")
damn smilies ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/6 "2000-12-29T02:35:20Z")
That’s right, Rysdad. I touched the remote. I touch it all the time. In a good way. Why, you ask? :::puffs self up & busts out of trusses::: Because _I_ pay the cable bill, that’s why! :::kicks Infra-red God in the cojones::: Now shut up & help me look for my damn remote! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/7 "2000-12-29T02:36:33Z")
damn smilies ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/8 "2000-12-29T04:10:07Z")
Have you frisked the kids yet? That is a sure bet around my house. And I hate to mention this, but when did you notice it missing? Please tell me it was before you threw out the christmas paper and boxes! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/9 "2000-12-29T04:14:33Z")
You get up and change the channel? My T.V. was stuck on TBS for a day and a half before we found the remote. The whole family (me, hubby and twins) will form a search party. We’ll pass by the T.V. a dozen times and _never change the channel_ until that damned remote can be found. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/10 "2000-12-29T04:18:21Z")
Have you checked the fridge yet? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/11 "2000-12-29T04:22:14Z")
remotes are the primary diet ingredient for sofas, ya know. They supplement thier diet with spare change. Either that or on a shelf some place. I’m great about that. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/12 "2000-12-29T21:38:15Z")
Did you find it yet? And Biggirl, the same thing happens in our house. And knowing that we are not the only family who does that makes me feel better! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/13 "2000-12-29T21:49:31Z")
::Bunny comes in black leather a la Lucy Liu in _Charlie’s Angels_:: Okay, drop 'em!! Cavity search! ::smacks riding crop against black leather skirt:: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/14 "2000-12-29T21:51:32Z")
Your remote is in the side (not the back) of the easy chair wedged way down in the seat cushion. Look again. ---
**Author:** ![Ivy\_Kitti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47774/32.png) [@Ivy\_Kitti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivy_Kitti)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/15 "2000-12-29T21:58:44Z")
My remote was MIA for a good chunk of this year. TV just doesn’t have that same old hypnotic effect without it. \ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/16 "2000-12-29T22:03:34Z")
Found it! (click) Soccer. (click) Days of Our Lives. (click) Oprah. (click) Happy Days. (click) Encino Man. Cool. (tosses remote back where he found it) ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/17 "2000-12-29T22:09:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*It is SUCH a pain in the arse to get up and change the channel. \*\* Sheesh. I must be the only one over 28 around here. Why do you think people in the 50’s **had** kids in the first place??? why to get up and change the channel for us, that’s why. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/18 "2000-12-29T22:11:03Z")
Unless you have a Y chromosome, you have absolutely no need for the holy black device… It’s been confiscated on account of the upcoming bowl games…now just sashay your pretty little head into that there kitchen and fix us up some grub…m’kay toots? …d&r… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Philosopher)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/19 "2000-12-29T22:11:16Z")
no, **this** is how you channel surf as a typical couch potato: (click) huh huh, hot chick (click) huh huh, hot chick wif saucepan (click) beer (click) some idiot cawwed Bush (click) huh huh, hot chick ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611/20 "2000-12-29T22:30:19Z")
Beagledave, I have a Y chromosome. He’s in the bathroom right now getting ready for work. He wasn’t here last night to help me find the remote or change the channels for me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alright-whos-got-my-remote/47611.md?page=2)