# Alternate facts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2017, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974 "2017-01-23T21:27:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/1 "2017-01-23T21:27:18Z")
I have completed a novel that will be hailed as the ultimate example of amazing writing, destined to become a blockbuster film, a TV series, and a Broadway play. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/2 "2017-01-23T21:52:06Z")
My shit does not stink. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/3 "2017-01-23T22:34:30Z")
“Nazi” in German means “whale’s vagina.” ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/4 "2017-01-23T23:32:02Z")
Uwe Boll’s newest movie, “To Be Determined”, breaks box office records! ---
**Author:** ![Lee\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/aeb1de/32.png) [@Lee\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lee_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/5 "2017-01-23T23:41:56Z")
Kellyanne Conway has the most lustrous, shiny, gorgeous hair I’ve ever seen outside a shampoo commercial. ---
**Author:** ![I.Dunno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9f8e36/32.png) [@I.Dunno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.Dunno)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/6 "2017-01-23T23:42:07Z")
The college I dropped out of some 40 plus years ago is now a university. Obviously that makes me smarter. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/7 "2017-01-23T23:49:54Z")
Chuck Norris is a wuss. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/8 "2017-01-23T23:50:31Z")
> [@Lee\_Q](#): > > Kellyanne Conway has the most lustrous, shiny, gorgeous hair I’ve ever seen outside a shampoo commercial. And it only accentuates her angelic, nay cherubic, face, which shines with a purity to which a newborn baby could only aspire. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/9 "2017-01-24T00:02:01Z")
I’m a responsible adult with a real job and no mental illness or disability. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/10 "2017-01-24T02:33:10Z")
Millions of people attended my birthday party. They were all looking at their computer screen the same time I was on, so it only makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/11 "2017-01-24T02:40:46Z")
I can’t wait to see the newest M. Night Shyamalan movie. It looks like a brilliant tour de force, as well as being factually and historically accurate. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/12 "2017-01-24T03:40:10Z")
Houston, Texas has the finest weather in the USA and is entirely free of annoying insects. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/13 "2017-01-24T03:42:23Z")
Indiana is the cultural capital of the US. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/14 "2017-01-24T06:05:09Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Houston, Texas has the finest weather in the USA and is entirely free of annoying insects. You, sir, have gone to far. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/15 "2017-01-24T08:18:33Z")
I have a pony. ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/16 "2017-01-24T13:02:55Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I have a pony. I like this one the most. You win the Internet for the day. P.s. - I do not mean this as an alternate fact. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/17 "2017-01-24T13:51:37Z")
The verb in this thread title is in the imperative mood. Non-fact next. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/18 "2017-01-24T14:43:43Z")
Homosexuality has gone way, way, way, way, way up since abortion was made legal. Ergo, abortion creates homosexuals (I know someone who believes this!) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/19 "2017-01-24T15:04:20Z")
We have always been at war with Oceania. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/20 "2017-01-24T15:17:14Z")
A man and woman were found stabbed to death in Florida recently, just like Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. Ergo, OJ did not kill them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974.md?page=2)