# Alternate facts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2017, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974 "2017-01-23T21:27:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/41 "2017-01-24T23:46:54Z")
There is no such thing as the internet. You are hallucinating this post. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/42 "2017-01-24T23:55:23Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > There is no such thing as the internet. You are hallucinating this post. Actually, we are hallucinating this post because there are no such things as fairies. ---
**Author:** ![JWT\_Kottekoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@JWT\_Kottekoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JWT_Kottekoe)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/43 "2017-01-25T00:07:56Z")
The next statement is an alternate fact (i.e. a lie). The previous statement is an actual fact (i.e. the truth). and E=mc[sup]3[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/44 "2017-01-25T00:29:26Z")
Colorado is flat. All the people who think they are skiing are actually ice skating. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/45 "2017-01-25T00:33:51Z")
If the sea levels rise too much, no biggie. We’ll just pull out the plug at the bottom of Marianas Trench and let it drain away into Hollow Earth. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/46 "2017-01-25T01:38:56Z")
I’m actually married to a woman, a former Miss America, and we have seventeen kids, forty two grandchildren, twenty one great grandchildren, a monkey farm, and make our own lollipops. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/47 "2017-01-25T02:25:37Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I have a pony. In fact, we ALL have ponies. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/48 "2017-01-25T02:43:24Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > In fact, we ALL have ponies. I **am** a pony. Of sorts. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/49 "2017-01-25T03:07:16Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I’m actually married to a woman, a former Miss America, and we have seventeen kids, forty two grandchildren, twenty one great grandchildren, a monkey farm, and make our own lollipops. Monkey farm? Lollipops? [del]I doubt that![/del] Fantastic! ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/50 "2017-01-25T03:11:25Z")
Health insurance company execs are all altruistic and that’s why they have such low annual salaries. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/51 "2017-01-25T04:03:30Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > You, sir, have gone to far. A National Council on American English, just signed into existence by a Trump Executive Ordure, has decreed that your spelling of “to” is correct in the above quotation. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/52 "2017-01-25T14:14:09Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Oh, please, please explain this, even in a PM or a separate thread. I have to know how abortion creates anything. [Click here](http://www.lifeissues.org/2009/04/impact-men-losing-child-abortion/) > [@](#): > > Some men experiment with homosexuality because it allows them to have a successful sexual relationship with no commitment and no worry of pregnancy. Men may suffer from other forms of sexual dysfunction such as impotency and addiction to pornography and masturbation. > [@panache45](#): > > Medical waste. I was once at a women’s health center with protesters outside. When a truck came to pick up the garbage, one of them started taking photos “in case anything falls out.” Because we know they don’t put the body parts in plastic bags. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/53 "2017-01-25T14:34:10Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > [Click here](http://www.lifeissues.org/2009/04/impact-men-losing-child-abortion/) Oh, cheese and crackers. I wonder if there are any actual statistics on men had a girlfriend abort a pregnancy before they came out? Probably not many, and I’ll bet it doesn’t account for the statistical rise in men willing to admit to being gay, because more and more men (and women) are coming out very young, never having had an opposite-sex relationship. More and more people are coming out as bisexual too, which blows a big hole in that theory. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/54 "2017-01-25T16:52:51Z")
[I’m not a cat. I’m an alternative dog.](http://68.media.tumblr.com/0691ef1824db501d0c03bcd2af248966/tumblr_okb00boqcy1qz4cuyo1_500.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/55 "2017-01-25T17:28:50Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Recent reports from the CDC show that the odds of autism are now 4 in 3 children. Facebook use by parents to blame, one study shows. I borrowed this one and posted it to facebook. If it becomes viral I’ll give you credit… ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/56 "2017-01-25T17:32:17Z")
I am a size six and only 20 yrs old. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/57 "2017-01-25T17:33:32Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > In fact, we ALL have ponies. I have a string of poloponies. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/58 "2017-01-25T18:05:20Z")
I \*am \*a pony! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974/59 "2017-01-25T19:08:05Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I \*am \*a pony! As is the poster in post 48. Of sorts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternate-facts/777974.md?page=2)