# Alternative Beatles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [January 4, 2022, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216 "2022-01-04T19:16:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/21 "2022-01-06T14:13:12Z")
There’s an entire book of these: > **[Across the Universe: Tales of Alternative Beatles: Ventrella, Michael A., Dawn,...](https://www.amazon.com/Across-Universe-Tales-Alternative-Beatles/dp/1515423956)** > > Across the Universe: Tales of Alternative Beatles \[Ventrella, Michael A., Dawn, Randee, Strock, Ian Randal\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Across the Universe: Tales of Alternative Beatles ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/22 "2022-01-06T14:48:40Z")
Hey, that looks fun! When I looked at that book, I noticed a book that is all about books about the Beatles. Makes me wonder exactly how many there are. Seems like writing a new Beatle book would be like writing another book explaining the Bible; trying to find a new angle to explore must be getting difficult. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/23 "2022-01-06T18:03:38Z")
For a second there I thought that you meant that Barbara Bach would end up with _John_ Sebastian. (Of Lovin’ Spoonful fame.) ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/24 "2022-01-06T18:12:59Z")
I can’t imagine a worse fit for the Beatles. I mean, was Moon capable of subtlety? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2022, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/25 "2022-01-09T02:40:04Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I mean, was Moon capable of subtlety? Only when passed out. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2022, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/26 "2022-01-09T05:02:48Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I can’t imagine a worse fit for the Beatles. I mean, was Moon capable of subtlety? Of course not, but damn, I’d love to hear that band! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/27 "2022-02-02T01:57:12Z")
In one of their final stops in their '66 tour, an unstable Vietnam vet storms the stage during “Wait” and manages to hurl ten Chinese throwing stars into Ringo’s face and head before being hauled off and curbstomped by a bunch of Samoan bouncers / security. Brian Epstein has to think fast - he doubtfully could wrangle Ginger Baker from Cream, breifly/stupidly considers Louie Bellson, and then realises that he just has to take the bull by the horns himself and get behind that bloody kit, and surprises everyone, including himself, at how quick a study he is. But what has been viewed as an unseemly power grab by some, Epstein declared Ringo irrelevant before he fully recuperated, as the latter skulked off, now disenchanted with the whole music business, and went on a completely different path, going back to school and then university, eventually getting a doctorate in advanced quantam mechanics and settling down to a comfy tenured position at some tony Brit Hall of Learning; retired, currently, to a sheep farm in the Hebrides. Meanwhile they became Brian Epstein and the New Beatles. So, around late '67 Epstein had a sort of epiphany, getting totally blown away the sounds of Blue Cheer, and then Black Sabbath. It almost unmoored him, as he completely eschewed his natty wardrobe for black jeans and white undershirt (weather permitting). He got a second kick drum and let his hair grow to the point that he was generally attributed to being the first person to really consciously sport a skullet. Then came the obesity issues, as he got in a contest with Peter Grant. Regardless, the heavier direction that Epstien was able to commandeer the other three into resulted in several seminal early 70’s powerhouse slabs that would influence bands like Hawkwind, and then Judas Preist and Def Leppard. Became Ozzy’s favourite band. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/28 "2022-02-02T02:11:26Z")
SDMB member @Mean_Mr.Mustard is actually Ringo Starr. Real subtle, Richard. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/29 "2022-02-02T03:11:26Z")
August 1966. During the Beatles’ U.S. tour, in Cleveland, 2,000 fans break through barricades and overrun security. In the ensuing melee, George is injured. He returns to England to recuperate. Rather than canceling the tour, the Beatles continue to Los Angeles and recruit a replacement guitarist from one of the many session musicians there. His name is Glen Campbell. He easily picks up Harrison’s licks and adds a few of his own. Campbell stays in touch with the group, and in 1969, when the Beatles finally break up, McCartney forms a supergroup with himself, Ringo, Glen Campbell and Billy Preston. Without the pressure of being the top of the act, Campbell manages to avoid his alcohol and drug problems, Preston stays in England and does not develop his ultimately destructive collaboration with Sly Stone, and the emotionally stable quartet continues for 20 years. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/30 "2022-02-02T10:30:43Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > SDMB member @Mean_Mr.Mustard is actually Ringo Starr. Real subtle, Richard. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/31 "2022-02-02T14:03:06Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > the emotionally stable quartet continues for 20 years. Without Linda? I can get behind that. > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Campbell stays in touch with the group, and in 1969, when the Beatles finally break up, McCartney forms a supergroup with himself, Ringo, Glen Campbell and Billy Preston. I would have liked to have actually seen this development. Kudos! ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/32 "2022-02-02T14:17:57Z")
With talents like those guys, Paul would have been able to construct complex songs in almost real time. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/33 "2022-02-02T14:23:56Z")
^ But you have to balance that with “The New Beatles” playing _Wichita Lineman_. 😬 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/34 "2022-02-02T14:33:44Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > But you have to balance that with “The New Beatles” playing _Wichita Lineman_ . Compared to anything on the White Album, I’d be quite happy with a Beatles Wichita Lineman. And Galveston. Hell, they could do MacArthur Park and it would be good. Just make Jimmy Webb the fifth New Beatle. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/35 "2022-02-02T14:49:30Z")
We’d really have to draw the line at _Rhinestone Cowboy_, though. > [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Just make Jimmy Webb the fifth New Beatle. 👍 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/36 "2022-02-02T15:09:44Z")
I could see Dreams of the Everyday Housewife done in more of a Eleanor Rigby style. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/37 "2022-02-02T15:15:37Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Dreams of the Everyday Housewife Christ, what a depressing song. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2022, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216/38 "2022-02-02T15:24:18Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Christ, what a depressing song. And Eleanor Rigby isn’t? 🙂 Or Macca’s Another Day, which shares a lot thematically with DotEH. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-beatles/957216.md?page=1)