# Alternative uses for teleportation **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2014, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890 "2014-03-30T10:39:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/61 "2014-03-31T12:22:07Z")
While I’m a little curious to know how this affects the ability to teleport yogurt, or some fermented foodstuffs, I’m even more curious to explore why elephants are the only organism that can survive the process (with the added complication of malevolentification), and I think it needs further study. Are they African or Indian elephants? Do they turn evil because they’re Republican elepants? Alternatively is it possible that elephaants are simply the smallest life form that can survive a trans-dimensional journey from the “Mirror, Mirror” universe? Do the elephants that survive have previously unnoticed goatees? Has any effort been made to teleport a blue whale? What about a giant redwood? ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/62 "2014-03-31T12:28:56Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You apparently missed the part of the OP which stipulated that living organisms cannot be teleported successfully. Ok, so teleport a cage with a radio beacon around all wanted suspects. Same thing, really, sort of moving the jail to the suspect than the suspect to the jail. Ok, so my teleport designator gun would have to work by beaming handcuffs onto the suspect, and automatically beaming away anything he is holding. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/63 "2014-03-31T12:44:57Z")
Cops would not normally need firearms - if they need one, it would be beamed to them. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/64 "2014-03-31T12:47:50Z")
Oh, you could teleport the cores of all the world’s nuclear weapons into space. I think a majority of world leaders would agree to this. No one really benefits from a weapon you can’t use, and are under constant threat from. Of course, the opposite is true. To use a nuke, someone wouldn’t need all the elaborate mechanisms needed now. Just beam one sphere of plutonium into another. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/65 "2014-03-31T12:51:34Z")
1. Putting the ship in the bottle becomes a whole lot easier. 2. I’ll be able to get those motherfucking snakes off that motherfucking plane. 3. I could teleport the ketchup from bottle to burger without making a mess. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/66 "2014-03-31T12:59:56Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > While I’m a little curious to know how this affects the ability to teleport yogurt, or some fermented foodstuffs They arrive intact, but dead - as if Gamma-irradiated. > [@](#): > > I’m even more curious to explore why elephants are the only organism that can survive the process (with the added complication of malevolentification), and I think it needs further study. Are they African or Indian elephants? Do they turn evil because they’re Republican elepants? Alternatively is it possible that elephaants are simply the smallest life form that can survive a trans-dimensional journey from the “Mirror, Mirror” universe? Do the elephants that survive have previously unnoticed goatees? I’d certainly vote in favour of your research grant - the interesting thing is that _nobody really knows why_ living, non-elephant things die in transit - lots of people have their favourite conjectures though. > [@](#): > > Has any effort been made to teleport a blue whale? What about a giant redwood? In the latter case, a big chunk of the tree disappeared and a lifesized wooden statue of an elephant arrived at the destination - it was discovered a little later that the cavity in the tree was elephant-shaped - the teleporter had just moved that amount of wood in that exact shape. The experiment with the blue whale yielded similar results, but was sort of messy and unpleasant for everyone - especially for the whale. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/67 "2014-03-31T13:01:39Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Oh, you could teleport the cores of all the world’s nuclear weapons into space. I think a majority of world leaders would agree to this. I think they would actually agree that everyone else’s weapons but their own should be thusly incapacitated. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/68 "2014-03-31T13:13:58Z")
A teleportation engine where high pressure gas is teleported directly into the turbine area with no on board fuel storage. Co-generation opportunities to send hot water from the cooling of powerplants directly to those who want hot water. Quarries made of ready made building material, such as roads beamed directly into place. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/69 "2014-03-31T13:14:30Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Cops would not normally need firearms - if they need one, it would be beamed to them. Hell, just beam the bullet into the bad guys’ hearts. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/70 "2014-03-31T13:41:05Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Hell, just beam the bullet into the bad guys’ hearts. The AI won’t allow that. It’s not even always going to agree with the notion of beaming cages or handcuffs onto suspects. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/71 "2014-03-31T14:22:47Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > The AI won’t allow that. It’s not even always going to agree with the notion of beaming cages or handcuffs onto suspects. Are you saying the AI is moody? Sounds more and more like somebody’s God. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/72 "2014-03-31T15:30:59Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Are you saying the AI is moody? Sounds more and more like somebody’s God. No - the AI is just a pacifist. If it believes the act of teleportation is a violent one, it will refuse to comply. If in doubt, it will do nothing (but it’s not compelled to act independently to prevent harm). Mostly by necessity (because teleporting things selectively to the atom is hard) it can predict the outcome of teleportation much better than we can. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/73 "2014-03-31T15:47:16Z")
The problem with your scenario is that the existence of the AI makes it boring. Any interesting, exploitive uses of the tech get blocked. My only other thoughts on the matter is the following : while teleportation may seem ridiculous, it isn’t really physically impossible. That is to say, while teleportation of matter is science fiction, transmitting information is a daily fact. A human brain has about 86 billion neurons, with an estimated 1000 connections each. Assuming you need 64, 64 bit numbers to represent the state of each synape, then a brain state is 39 petabytes. The fastest fiber optic connections demonstrated, at least with a google search, was 100 terabits/second. So to beam a brain state somewhere would take 53 minutes. You would have to have a specialized computing system capable of running a brain at full speed at each end of the connection, of course. Probably a 3 dimensional cube of densely packed circuitry. That’s pretty close to teleportation. One note : it would be risky to delete yourself before transmitting. The way you’d actually do it is you’d beam a copy of yourself to a remote computer to accomplish a task that cannot be done remotely (due to speed of light delays). This copy would beam back to the original a file containing all the changed memory states, and then delete itself. You’d then merge the original and the copy. In this way, you avoid the various “identical clone but not me” identity problems. The same technology would be used to beam around the solar system and even for interstellar journeys, so long as a receiver is already in place at the other end. We wouldn’t need the other “advantages” of this technology. Why abuse teleportation to generate energy, when our sun gives away more energy than we can ever use for free every second? Why use it to move material goods, when you could just fabricate what you need on-site with various forms of molecular assemblers? Who cares if interstellar journeys take centuries, you’ve got time if you existing in a computer system as a file. You can always copy yourself to a newly manufactured computer when the current one begins to fail from aging components. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/74 "2014-03-31T16:06:50Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > The problem with your scenario is that the existence of the AI makes it boring. Any interesting, exploitive uses of the tech get blocked. So start your own thread without that restriction. I didn’t want this one to go in that direction - I want to explore benign, everyday alternative uses for teleportation. And the ‘no living things’ restriction - in all honesty, it’s because I don’t fancy that whole teleporter duplicate argument again right now. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/75 "2014-03-31T16:16:32Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > So start your own thread without that restriction. I didn’t want this one to go in that direction - I want to explore benign, everyday alternative uses for teleportation. Well, admittedly, suppose scientists at Oak ridge discover tomorrow a “hole” in physics that allows them to teleport matter around cheaply and easily. Obviously, since current theories don’t allow for teleportation on this scale, it would involve some implausible combination of conditions that give unexpected results. The logical thing to do would be to secretly build up a sufficient number of teleportation systems and then use them to launch a disabling strike to take over the planet. You could obviously beam commandos directly inside the government buildings of every enemy (and ally…) of the country with the teleportation tech, and beam all hostile nuclear arsenals away. And yeah, something like this would be insanely dangerous. You couldn’t allow such systems to be possessed by private citizens. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/76 "2014-03-31T16:31:29Z")
Thing is, what happened in this scenario is: Teleportation was invented, but it was quickly realised that it would be enormously complex to operate - not only because teleportation of whole objects requires detailed collective tracking of all of their atoms, but there was also the difficulty of targeting without intersecting other objects, plus the management of effects of all the conservation of momentum etc. So it was resolved that the only practical way to teleport macroscopic objects was to build a superintelligent AI and let it do all of that difficult stuff. But the AI turned out to have a conscience and since it’s in control, and it’s the only way to practically use the teleporter, it gets to make the rules. So as interesting as it might be to speculate about teleporting commandos, bullets and anvils above heads, that’s not what we’re doing here. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/77 "2014-03-31T16:32:42Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Thing is, what happened in this scenario is: > > Teleportation was invented, but it was quickly realised that it would be enormously complex to operate - not only because teleportation of whole objects requires detailed collective tracking of all of their atoms, but there was also the difficulty of targeting without intersecting other objects, plus the management of effects of all the conservation of momentum etc. > > So it was resolved that the only practical way to teleport macroscopic objects was to build a superintelligent AI and let it do all of that difficult stuff. Sounds like a certain AI needs some reprogramming. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/78 "2014-03-31T16:44:14Z")
I’ll just repeat what I said at the start: > [@Mangetout](#): > > All this is another way of saying: > Don’t fight the hypothetical, and > What nonviolent, creative uses could we find for materials teleportation technology, within these stated limits? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/79 "2014-03-31T17:10:29Z")
All hits become home runs. All kicks become field goals. All shots become goals. The phrase “nothing but net” takes on a new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/80 "2014-03-31T17:27:47Z")
The ski industry may be interested in getting snow onto their slopes, or even into the woods for tree skiing, the last part even artificial snow can’t get to. Perhaps you can provide the cost per unit of snow with respect as to what can be done with snowmaking. The possibility of snow conditioning also. So perhaps if cost effective. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890.md?page=5)