# Alternative uses for teleportation **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2014, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890 "2014-03-30T10:39:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/81 "2014-03-31T18:14:22Z")
So we can’t teleport ourselves, but can we teleport the air around us, creating differences in air pressure to allow Superman-style flight? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/82 "2014-03-31T18:20:12Z")
> [@Sanity\_Challenged](#): > > So we can’t teleport ourselves, but can we teleport the air around us, creating differences in air pressure to allow Superman-style flight? It sounds more like Mary Poppins than Superman, but you’re welcome to try. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/83 "2014-03-31T18:57:07Z")
Liposuction. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/84 "2014-03-31T19:35:31Z")
We could use the teleporter as a perfect sterilization device. Just transport the object to be sterilized an infinitesimal distance and every germ, virus, bacteria, or other living vermin is killed. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/85 "2014-03-31T19:46:39Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > We could use the teleporter as a perfect sterilization device. Just transport the object to be sterilized an infinitesimal distance and every germ, virus, bacteria, or other living vermin is killed. Then you have a thing with gazillions of tiny potentially toxic corpses on it. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/86 "2014-03-31T19:58:37Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Then you have a thing with gazillions of tiny potentially toxic corpses on it. Cooked or irradiated food isn’t toxic. Now, I guess if the teleporter magically rearranges the atoms in each cell into poison, sure, that would be bad. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/87 "2014-03-31T20:20:36Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > We could use the teleporter as a perfect sterilization device. Just transport the object to be sterilized an infinitesimal distance and every germ, virus, bacteria, or other living vermin is killed. Unless it’s contaminated with elephants, but you’d probably notice that. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/88 "2014-03-31T20:22:37Z")
But actually, the AI is precise enough just to teleport the pathogens away from the object, leaving it sterile. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/89 "2014-03-31T20:59:35Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > In the latter case, a big chunk of the tree disappeared and a lifesized wooden statue of an elephant arrived at the destination - it was discovered a little later that the cavity in the tree was elephant-shaped - the teleporter had just moved that amount of wood in that exact shape. Obviously, this would be a boon to the Life-Sized Elephant Statue industry. And the Life-Sized Elephant-Shaped Room industry, but that’s not such a big industry. YET. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/90 "2014-03-31T21:29:48Z")
Some surgeries just got a whole lot less invasive. Cancerous tumor? Gone! Simultaneously teleport in an appropriate quantity of saline or other filler material to prevent damage from the cavitation collapsing. Knee or hip replacement? transport out the damaged joint and parts that have to be removed to fit the prosthetic. Walk out in 15 minutes. Anesthesia only required to alleviate stress. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/91 "2014-03-31T21:41:14Z")
International drug transportation got a whole lot less costly (on both sides) and less deadly (no need for so many middle men who dilute, adulterate the product). ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/92 "2014-03-31T21:47:46Z")
Another medical breakthrough would be the simplification of dialysis. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/93 "2014-03-31T22:08:27Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Some surgeries just got a whole lot less invasive. > > Cancerous tumor? Gone! Simultaneously teleport in an appropriate quantity of saline or other filler material to prevent damage from the cavitation collapsing. > > Knee or hip replacement? transport out the damaged joint and parts that have to be removed to fit the prosthetic. Walk out in 15 minutes. Anesthesia only required to alleviate stress. Might even be able to 3D print a collagen framework directly into place to promote healing of the original joint. Living cells won’t survive the trip, but proteins will. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890/94 "2014-03-31T22:09:58Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Obviously, this would be a boon to the Life-Sized Elephant Statue industry. And the Life-Sized Elephant-Shaped Room industry, but that’s not such a big industry. YET. It’s a supply and demand thing. The limited availability of life size elephant shaped rooms is stifling the market right now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternative-uses-for-teleportation/684890.md?page=4)