# Alternatives to "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378 "2000-03-04T19:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Breckinshire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@Breckinshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breckinshire)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/1 "2000-03-04T19:28:00Z")
How about: Who want to marry a Trekkie? Who wants to marry a semi-successful guy with foot odor? Who wants to get hitched to Cletus The Love God, Arkansas’ most eligible bachelor? Who wants to marry an immigrant for fun and profit? * * * _A hush fell over the courtroom, killing six._ ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/2 "2000-03-04T19:37:00Z")
Who want to marry a penniless woman with low self-esteem, who has 8 children, is addicted to crack, lives in a trailer with the rest of her dysfunctional relatives, and allows you to sleep with her sister. Oh wait…isn’t that the Jerry Springer show? * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/3 "2000-03-04T19:41:00Z")
Oh cmon PCW, I only let him sleep with my sister once 😉 * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![Chrome\_Toaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Chrome\_Toaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chrome_Toaster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/4 "2000-03-04T19:42:00Z")
Who wants to marry an aging, has-been wannabe rock-n-roll star with a 15 year heroin habit and a bad case of rickets? Who wants to marry Mike Masturbation? (OMG I am so sorry! I just couldn’t resist.) Chrome Toaster ---
**Author:** ![Breckinshire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@Breckinshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breckinshire)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/5 "2000-03-04T19:43:00Z")
Who wants to marry that guy who stands on the corner screaming? ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/6 "2000-03-04T19:43:00Z")
ROFLMAO Sue you just made my day! * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/7 "2000-03-04T19:47:00Z")
Who Wants To Marry A Guy With Multiple Personality Disorder, When Only Three Out Of Nineteen Of His Personalities are Serial Killers? * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/8 "2000-03-04T22:28:00Z")
Who Wants to Marry a Guy Who Peppers His Conversations with the Term “Okie-Doke, Artichoke!” * * * We struck down evil with the mighty sword of “teamwork” and the hammer of “not bickering.” ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/9 "2000-03-04T23:13:00Z")
“Who Wants To Marry A Musician?” Oh wait…I already did. Never mind. * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/10 "2000-03-04T23:24:00Z")
HEY! I resemble that trailer remark! ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/11 "2000-03-05T00:19:00Z")
Okay, how come this thread takes off, but the one I started on this topic is languishing in lameness? [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005565.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005565.html) [pouting]That’s not fair![/pouting] ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/12 "2000-03-05T02:02:00Z")
It just wasn’t your time, grasshopper. ## Who wants to marry an asshole? …a troll? …a wife beater? …Brad Pitt? …me? I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/13 "2000-03-05T04:49:00Z")
1. “Who Wants To Marry A Wrestler??” (you have to go a couple of rounds first) 2. “Who Wants To Marry a Coal Miner” (this of course is done all in the dark with those lights on their helmets! 3. “Who Wants to Marry Cecil” (contestants will have VERY difficult questions being asked by a masked man, who of course ISN’T Cecil…it’s Ed Zotti * * * “The more hours people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings.” Norman Nie, a Stanford political scientist on results of his study of the Internet’s impact on society. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/14 "2000-03-05T05:19:00Z")
“Who Wants to Marry My Two Ex-Wives?” I, for one, will be laughing my ass off!! Hoping to match Ex-wife #2 with Michael Masterson. * * * _…send lawyers, guns, and money…_ ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![WIU\_Wozman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WIU\_Wozman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIU_Wozman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/15 "2000-03-06T06:53:00Z")
Who wnats to whore themselves to a guy you know to be goofy looking? * * * Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them. - Isaac Jaffee ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/16 "2000-03-05T22:52:00Z")
Who wants to to marry a controlling, jealous, possesive, alcoholic who throws his wife up against the wall because she won’t let him take a piss on the kitchen floor when he’s drunk? Oh, sorry. I already did that… and I just divorced that asshole 9 months ago. Who wants to marry the cable guy just to get HBO for free? * * * That John Denver’s full of shit man! ---
**Author:** ![Breckinshire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@Breckinshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breckinshire)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/17 "2000-03-06T00:53:00Z")
Who wants to marry a guy who once bowled a 230? ---
**Author:** ![meara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@meara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meara)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/18 "2000-03-06T02:04:00Z")
Who wants to be a White House intern? ---
**Author:** ![Breckinshire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@Breckinshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breckinshire)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/19 "2000-03-06T02:36:00Z")
Who wants to marry an Egyptian mummy? Who wants to marry the archaeologist who dug up the Egyptian mummy? Who wants to marry Todd, Peoria, Illinois’ chief SpiderMan impersonator? Who wants to marry Al Gore? ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternatives-to-who-wants-to-marry-a-multimillionaire/14378/20 "2000-03-06T06:45:00Z")
Who wants to have casual, commitmentless sex with that pizza guy? He could really use it!