# Alternaverse GOP slogans- If they were honest... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939 "2013-06-26T04:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/1 "2013-06-26T04:24:25Z")
Let’s invent satirical GOP slogans! “GOP: Why not accept second class citizenship on the basis of sex or race considerations from our archaic, debunked worldview today?” “GOP: Because the separation of Church and State was only meant to apply to the false religions.” “GOP: Building a better world where brown people shut up and don’t vote so much.” Now I hand over the reins. It’s your turn. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/2 "2013-06-26T11:57:46Z")
Moved MPSIMS --\> the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/3 "2013-06-26T12:07:41Z")
GOP: Yes, it does stand for Greedy Old People. GOP: Where the Apocalypse isn’t just a religious prophecy, but a mission statement. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/4 "2013-06-26T12:16:35Z")
GOP: the Rapture already happened! ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/5 "2013-06-26T12:22:31Z")
GOP: Dedicated to limiting big government so that it doesn’t spread outside your bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/6 "2013-06-26T12:32:11Z")
Fighting for the freedom to choose fascism at home and abroad since 1980 We’ll stay out of your bedroom if you’ll let us back into the airport men’s room At least we’re not the Tea Party . . . oh wait . . . We need to balance the budget, because otherwise we’ll run out of zeroes. The GOP: Sure, maybe we don’t cause cancer, but you should still consider your options. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/7 "2013-06-26T13:17:53Z")
GOP: Quantifiably worse than having no one in office. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/8 "2013-06-26T13:22:19Z")
GOP: Despite the fact that we’re in the middle of a crushing recession and have 2 wars going the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president. GOP: Our positions are pre-satirized for your convenience ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/9 "2013-06-26T13:26:42Z")
GOP: Evolution is just a theory but Poe’s Law isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Yodalicious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yodalicious/32/8195_2.png) [@Yodalicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yodalicious)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/10 "2013-06-26T13:33:26Z")
Join the GOP. We have womb for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/11 "2013-06-26T13:39:02Z")
Join the GOP; we can control time itself! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/12 "2013-06-26T13:51:44Z")
GOP: 'Cause Armageddon ain’t gonna happen by itself. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/13 "2013-06-26T14:03:39Z")
“We, for one, welcome our new corporate overlords” ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/14 "2013-06-26T14:16:37Z")
The GOP: We make up the rules as we go along ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/15 "2013-06-26T14:42:43Z")
Building a bridge to the 11th century. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/16 "2013-06-26T14:49:03Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > GOP: 'Cause Armageddon ain’t gonna happen by itself. Love this one. GOP: Bible Belt needs expandin’ ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/17 "2013-06-26T14:58:07Z")
“Let us make _The Handmaid’s Tale_ a documentary!” ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/18 "2013-06-26T15:27:22Z")
“In a post 411 world we don’t need information to make decisions” ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/19 "2013-06-26T15:36:53Z")
Only straight people should be allowed to mess up adopted children. Because reverse American exceptionalism is still American exceptionalism. Where yesterday is always better than today. We oppose the lazy immigrants who sit around on welfare stealing our jobs. Let us never forget that the founding fathers were a homogeneous group who never disagreed about anything and perpetually invoke them as such. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/20 "2013-06-26T15:38:12Z")
Because who doesn’t want Wal Mart jobs and old men in charge of all female body parts? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939.md?page=2)