# Alternaverse GOP slogans- If they were honest... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939 "2013-06-26T04:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/61 "2013-06-27T17:52:44Z")
The Republican Party: Offering catchy slogans to people who vote based on catchy slogans ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/62 "2013-06-27T20:03:10Z")
‘I upped my income. Up yours!’ ‘I’m in! Pull up the ladder!’ ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/63 "2013-06-27T20:23:26Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > “As for the Republicans – how can one regard seriously a frightened, greedy, nostalgic huddle of tradesmen and lucky idlers who shut their eyes to history and science, steel their emotions against decent human sympathy, cling to sordid and provincial ideals exalting sheer acquisitiveness and condoning artificial hardship for the non-materially-shrewd, dwell smugly and sentimentally in a distorted dream-cosmos of outmoded phrases and principles and attitudes based on the bygone agricultural-handicraft world, and revel in (consciously or unconsciously) mendacious assumptions (such as the notion that real liberty is synonymous with the single detail of unrestricted economic license or that a rational planning of resource-distribution would contravene some vague and mystical ‘American heritage’…) utterly contrary to fact and without the slightest foundation in human experience? Intellectually, the Republican idea deserves the tolerance and respect one gives to the dead.” > > ― H.P. Lovecraft > > That never gets old. This looks so appropriate for the Republicans of today that I am incredibly suspicious. This has apparently been making the rounds of the internet, usually without attribution. This page ( [Grim Reviews: The Political Transition of Howard Philips Lovecraft](http://grimreviews.blogspot.com/2008/10/political-transition-of-howard-philips.html) ) claims that it’s from a 1935 letter from HPL to Catherine L. Moore, but I can’t open the page it links to. I don’t have any of the volumes of Lovecraft’s letters, so I can’t check directly. Were the Republicans the same way in 1936? I find it hard to believe they haven’t, as a group, changed very much since then. Added: Apparently it’s cited in S.T. Joshi’s Lovecraft bio, and cited on Wikiquote, so it seems it’s for real. That’s as good as I’m likely to find on the internet, Whoda thunk it? > [@](#): > > Letter to C.L. Moore (August 1936), quoted in “H.P. Lovecraft, a Life” by S.T. Joshi, p. 574 > **[H. P. Lovecraft - Wikiquote](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/H._P._Lovecraft)** ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/64 "2013-06-27T20:27:37Z")
GOP: We hate having a black president more than we love America. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/65 "2013-06-27T20:41:15Z")
GOP: Supporting the Will of the People whenever it coincides with ours. GOP: The party of control freaks. For small government. GOP: If you don’t elect us to Govern, we’ll just devote ourselves to preventing Governance. ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/66 "2013-06-27T22:47:52Z")
GOP: Where “Walking With Dinosaurs” isn’t a tv show, it’s a life style choice. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/67 "2013-06-28T12:32:58Z")
GOP: Perry - Voldemort 2016 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/68 "2013-06-28T16:46:38Z")
“Women belong in the kitchen and blacks belong in the plantation” “Americans for a better tomorrow (based on the America of 1850)” GOP: “Who do you trust? Us, or your lying eyes?” ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/69 "2013-06-29T04:15:40Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > GOP: Taking over state legislatures Probably “commandeer” is more precise than “taking over”, see [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16418894&postcount=49). GOP: Building an America where honor and probity are the sole province of suckers. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/70 "2013-06-29T04:23:09Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > “As for the Republicans – how can one regard seriously a frightened, greedy, nostalgic huddle of tradesmen and lucky idlers who shut their eyes to history and science, steel their emotions against decent human sympathy, cling to sordid and provincial ideals exalting sheer acquisitiveness and condoning artificial hardship for the non-materially-shrewd, dwell smugly and sentimentally in a distorted dream-cosmos of outmoded phrases and principles and attitudes based on the bygone agricultural-handicraft world, and revel in (consciously or unconsciously) mendacious assumptions (such as the notion that real liberty is synonymous with the single detail of unrestricted economic license or that a rational planning of resource-distribution would contravene some vague and mystical ‘American heritage’…) utterly contrary to fact and without the slightest foundation in human experience? Intellectually, the Republican idea deserves the tolerance and respect one gives to the dead.” > > ― H.P. Lovecraft > > That never gets old. “GOP: We grossed out the guy who created Cthulhu! :D” ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/71 "2013-07-01T09:09:53Z")
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jeb Florida governeer barely kept his family fed Then one day he decided he’d better run soon For an office even higher than that Cheney dude. (Won “legitimately” this time. Fewer black voters, required voting IDs!) Well the first thing you know ol Jeb’s a candidate Fellow partygoers said there’s “legitimate rape” Said the Iowa Caucus the place you oughta be So he loaded up the bus to campaign for the presidency (To stop Hillary, that is. Not to mention Liberals and movie stars.) Well now it’s time to say welcome back to Jeb and all his kin They would like to thank you folks for kindly “voting” them in You’re all invited back again to this shameful repeat of history To have another heaping helping of their misunderestimatability. (Texas Oilbillies, that’s what they call 'em now, Real Mericans. Y’all remember to vote on November 12th, now, y’hear?) ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/72 "2013-07-01T12:39:27Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > [DEL]\[/DEL]\ > Y’all remember to vote on November 12th, now, y’hear?) If you’re a Republican that is. Democrats vote the next day. New rules, dontcha know? Otherwise, bravo (or brava, whichever applies). ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/73 "2013-07-01T17:13:22Z")
Actually, voting day definitely comes before the 12th. So you sensed the joke without realizing I’d already told it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/74 "2013-07-01T19:21:18Z")
We’ll shrink government till it’s small enough to fit inside a vagina and a uterus. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/75 "2013-07-01T19:25:17Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > We’ll shrink government till it’s small enough to fit inside a vagina and a uterus. Hey! It’s not small, I WAS IN THE POOL ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/76 "2013-07-01T20:05:00Z")
The one with all the ice cubes floating in it! ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/77 "2013-07-01T23:11:22Z")
GOP: The REAL Americans. ( None of those fake ass brown people trying to pass themselves off as such.) ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/78 "2013-07-01T23:44:31Z")
If you think we’re just a bunch of old white guys, it’s because you didn’t come in through the service entrance. Don’t let it happen again. ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/79 "2013-07-02T01:28:38Z")
GOP: Holier than Jesus ( _And_ thou) ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939/80 "2013-07-02T04:38:33Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > “GOP: Why not accept second class citizenship on the basis of sex or race considerations from our archaic, debunked worldview today?” That would fit really well on a bumper sticker, right next to [this one](http://rlv.zcache.co.nz/one_man_plus_one_woman_equals_marriage_bumper_sticker-rfc4743e763b44025b2e0f6ff9b704907_v9wht_8byvr_512.jpg). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alternaverse-gop-slogans-if-they-were-honest/661939.md?page=5)