# Alton Brown....mmmm **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976 "2006-02-17T18:18:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/41 "2006-02-17T22:42:11Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > So _Good Eats_ is his regular show or what? I keep hearing about the wonderfulness that is Alton Brown, but I keep missing him. When is his regular show on? Comes on 6PM CST on Food Network, Direct TV Ch 231, and again at (PM (I think, I hardly ever catch to later episode). ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/42 "2006-02-17T22:43:18Z")
9PM, not (PM ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/43 "2006-02-17T23:04:26Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > Comes on 6PM CST on Food Network, Direct TV Ch 231, and again at (PM (I think, I hardly ever catch to later episode). Ah. Found it. I have Dishnetwork and it’s on FOOD channel 110 at 4PM. Unfortunately, it’s throwing up all kinds of skips. Damn roommate and all his stupid Oprahs, Jerry Springers & reality shows. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/44 "2006-02-17T23:22:03Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > I just \*so \*don’t get it. Alton Brown is the single most annoying life form ever to make me want to smash my TV with a sledgehammer. I’d rather spend a weekend in a sealed room with Urkel and Screech and Bill O’Reilly than watch 5 minutes of _Good Eats._ If I accidentally catch a second of him on the TV, I have to make a panicked fumble for the remote to just MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP before my system shuts down and I vomit myself to death or drive knitting needles deep into my brain through the eye sockets. It’s a serious health issue for me. So uh…how do you feel about Bobby Flay? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/45 "2006-02-17T23:33:49Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Sandra Lee doesn’t do anything for me (way too WASPy and not a good cook at all), but I adore Rachael Ray and I’ve quickly grown very attracted to Giada. I’ve never actually seen Nigella Lawson’s cooking show, but just from her book cover photos alone, I could see myself falling for her in a major way. Nigella makes me drool. She’s like my dream woman, and she’s a decade and a half older than me (Wiki says she was born in 1960…_hot damn_). Rachael Ray annoys the living crap out of me, though, and I don’t find her particularly attractive. Giada’s pretty hot, though, but her head seems the wrong size for her body. Still, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/46 "2006-02-17T23:55:27Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I do technical work at a dot-com, and I recently made a scrumptiously delicious meat loaf with ground duck meat, fresh mango, ginger, yogurt, and crushed chow mein noodles. > > So… how you doin’? OMG! That sounds heavenly! Oh, and I’m doing just fine…giggling like a school girl at my first “how you doin’?” on this board. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/47 "2006-02-17T23:55:31Z")
You can all just go back to your Tyler and Emril fanclubs girls. Alton is mine all mine and I am not willing to share. 5 mintues until Good Eats comes on! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/48 "2006-02-18T00:23:51Z")
AB is definitely hot. I’d go lesbian for Nigella. Rachael Ray is annoying as hell. **pulkyamell** ’s right - Giada’s head is too big. But for me her most annoying characteristic is her over.enun.ciation and her “smile”. The Gigantic Teeth and Gums of Doom! Ahhh! Run away! ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/49 "2006-02-18T00:29:40Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > So uh…how do you feel about Bobby Flay? 😉 I would like to beat Alton Brown to death with Bobby Flay. Than I would stand behind the kneeling Emeril Lagassy and shoot him at the base of the skull. I would, of course, shout “BAM!” at the appropriate moment. Then Tyler Florence and I would fall into bed together and never get out. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/50 "2006-02-18T00:30:18Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > I’d go lesbian for Nigella. Me, too! She’s gorgeous! I have two of her books, “How to be a Domestic Goddess” and “How to Eat”. I’ve made tons of recipies…they’ve all turned out great. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/51 "2006-02-18T00:51:49Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > I would like to beat Alton Brown to death with Bobby Flay. Than I would stand behind the kneeling Emeril Lagassy and shoot him at the base of the skull. I would, of course, shout “BAM!” at the appropriate moment. I disagree with the Alton Brown part, but anything involving violence to Emeril and Bobby Flay is something I can get behind. Of course, Emeril isn’t that bad on his stripped down and bamless other show. Sandra Lee is hot in a Stepford wife kinda way. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/52 "2006-02-18T01:07:53Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > Sandra Lee is hot in a Stepford wife kinda way. That’s exactly why I have no interest in her whatsoever. Kinda like that horrible character Marcia Cross plays on Desperate Housewives. No appeal at all. How was Nigella’s show, back in the day? I know she was never on Food Network, but on some other channel (Style?) we never got with basic cable. As a result, I’ve never seen her on TV, but I can only imagine the British accent she has must sound like angels themselves. Do they play up her sensuality/sexuality, or is she just a good TV cook who happens to be gorgeous as an afterthought? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/53 "2006-02-18T01:10:44Z")
As for Emeril and Bobby Flay, I should say that despite their grating TV personalities, they are both AWESOME chefs. I’ve made Emeril’s recipes to great success, and I do like him when he isn’t pandering to his Oprah-esque live studio audience. Never made anything from Flay’s recipes, but I love Southwestern food, and his stuff always looks so amazing. ---
**Author:** ![jakeline](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@jakeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jakeline)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/54 "2006-02-18T04:01:40Z")
Sorry, but he’s mine, and I have proof. Behold, a (rather old and somewhat appalling) [picture](http://www.flickr.com/photos/jakeline/101024964/) of AB with his arm around me. Oh, and I guess **Asimovian** is in the picture too. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/55 "2006-02-18T04:11:12Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > As for Emeril and Bobby Flay, I should say that despite their grating TV personalities, they are both AWESOME chefs. I’ve made Emeril’s recipes to great success, Everything I’ve made from Alton’s recipes works and tastes great. I’ve had limited success with Emeril’s recipies - some stuff works and some stuff has failed. The stuff I’ve done of Rachael Ray’s has always worked and been good. One thing - I’ve tried a couple of Martha Stewart’s recipies - never again. I tried to make her Lemon Bars, and dirtied every freaking mixing bowl, measuring cup and measuring spoon in the kitchen, and had flour every-freaking-where. And they were dry and tasteless. The ones I make from a store-brand box mix are ten times better. And once again, I called **dibs** on AB years ago. He’s mine, so everyone just BACK OFF!!! Or get in line _behind_ me. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/56 "2006-02-18T04:11:29Z")
> [@teela brown](#): > > I like AB a lot, but my heart belongs to Jamie Oliver. Whatever happened to him, anyway? He’s still around, in fact he’s got a [new show](http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_jo) on FoodNetwork. (Oliver’s Twist) I too, am an Alton Brown fangirl. ROWR! ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/57 "2006-02-18T04:48:03Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > He’s mine, so everyone just BACK OFF!!! Or get in line _behind_ me. I ain’t too proud… I’ll have sloppy seconds of AB. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/58 "2006-02-18T05:00:35Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Well, not him so much, but I’ve had several brief fantasies revolving at various times around either Rachel Ray, Gaida De Laurentis, or Sandra Lee. giada is frickin HOT. i’d so happily pounce her many a time. rarr! another one is nigella lawson. she’s got some VERY large breastesis on her body. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/59 "2006-02-18T05:04:16Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > **pulkyamell** ’s right - Giada’s head is too big. But for me her most annoying characteristic is her over.enun.ciation and her “smile”. The Gigantic Teeth and Gums of Doom! Ahhh! Run away! I don’t know that’s it’s so much her head being too large, as it is the face part of her head. She has an enormous face…big teeth, big gums, enormous forehead. It’s like the top of her body is a giant face with some hair glued on the back of it. I can watch her, though. Rachael Ray, meh. I can watch her, too. I love Alton Brown. Not carnally, though. I wish he were my brother, or my corny uncle. If Emril is on? Bam. I changed the channel. Bobby Flay. He reminds me of a guy I knew in high school. That I hated. My favorite Food Network moment, though, is when “The Chairman” bites into the bell pepper. We always supply some MST3K-style internal monologue to go along with the hideous grin on his face. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/60 "2006-02-18T05:10:41Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > My favorite Food Network moment, though, is when “The Chairman” bites into the bell pepper. We always supply some MST3K-style internal monologue to go along with the hideous grin on his face. Next time you watch that, keep an eye on his stomach as the camera pans out. It looks to me as if he fought off puking, there is a convulsive heave that you can see him do. I wonder if the bell pepper was rotted in the heat of the cameras or what? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976.md?page=4)