# Alton Brown....mmmm **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976 "2006-02-17T18:18:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/61 "2006-02-18T05:18:29Z")
[http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/food\_network/001439.php](http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/food_network/001439.php) that’s for the anti sandra lee people. i’ve never seen her show…i don’t watch a lot of food network unless it’s iron chef… unless i’m home and over my buddy’s house. his mom is a domestc queen and ALWAYS has the food network on…so i get to stare and ogle giada. …and stare and ogle, i do. so, um…giada…how you doin? _waiting anxiously for the response_ ---
**Author:** ![Stinkum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Stinkum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stinkum)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/62 "2006-02-18T05:22:50Z")
I don’t even cook and still watch Good Eats. AB is smart and funny – two sterliing qualities. When you ladies are done with him, I’ll take him home. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/63 "2006-02-18T07:17:12Z")
> [@teela brown](#): > > I like AB a lot, but my heart belongs to Jamie Oliver. Whatever happened to him, anyway? No, his mouth scares me. I watch Alton Brown & Chris Kimball and think that they’re the types of cooks that I’d like to be. If I cooked. Which I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/64 "2006-02-18T09:25:23Z")
Throw me on top of the AB bandwagon as well… Mmmm. Bobby Flay - Wouldn’t kick him outta bed. (Or outta the kitchen for that matter.) Rachael Ray - I’d smother her with a pillow. Emeril - ‘Bam!’ is right. Right upside the head with a rolling pin. Paula Deen - She just needs to adopt me, and that’s all there is to it. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/65 "2006-02-18T12:07:23Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > And once again, I called **dibs** on AB years ago. He’s mine, so everyone just BACK OFF!!! Or get in line _behind_ me. NO! I started this thread…he’s mine! (begins throwing melted {cooled} chocolate at **Biblio** ) Did you catch on the 2/17 show that he has to wear gloves to make truffles because he has hot hands? Hot hands. _swoon_ ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/66 "2006-02-18T14:25:40Z")
Everyone knows that Alton and I were separated at birth, right? ---
**Author:** ![Winkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/41988e/32.png) [@Winkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winkie)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/67 "2006-02-18T14:35:37Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Ivylad pretends not to like it, but Alton was heating a skillet on the stove and he pointed a hair-dryer looking thing at it and it gave him a digital readout on how hot the skillet was. > > Ivylad sat up, went “Oooh…what was that!” He’s also drooled a bit over the electric skillets and the mixers. > > So he’s a closet AB lover. 😉 There’s one of those thingies in my kitchen now, after just such an occurrence with WinkieHubby. Although he claims he uses it for car stuff to see how hot parts get after different modifications, he has also made waffles from scratch using Alton’s recipe (after watching Alton do it.) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/68 "2006-02-18T17:20:39Z")
If I were gay I’d do AB Rachael Ray, oh baby! My wife and are are firmly convinced that RR was a chearleader in high school. She is terminally perky. Bobby Flay either can’t cook, or does not bother to read the recipies that are published. I’ve tried his stuff twice and both times I had to throw it out. I swear I can cook way better BBQ than this guy. Emeril on the other hand can cook, and damn well. His show is part theater and part cooking show. I enjoy it and his recipies always seem to work. Paula “Start with a pound of butter” Dean Damn I can feel my arteries hardening just watching her show. But that is some great food. I want to do a road trip to her restaurant. **Least Original User Name Ever** your link nailed Sandra Lee. She is scary looking and her food sucks. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/69 "2006-02-18T22:04:06Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Emeril on the other hand can cook, and damn well. His show is part theater and part cooking show. I enjoy it and his recipies always seem to work. I’ve eaten at Emeril’s restaurants and I have been very impressed, not only with the food but the service as well. I’ve watched a few of his shows, but I prefer Alton. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/70 "2006-02-18T22:29:10Z")
The hotness of Giada de Laurentis is only spurred on by the fact that her show is shot exactly like soft core porn. The music, the soft focus, the close-up montages…it’s like Cinemax after midnight. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/71 "2006-02-19T16:38:11Z")
I ate Bobby Flay’s food once at a cooking demonstration/book signing, and it was very good. I don’t find his personality as irritating as some do. At the event I attended, he was really nice and personable when dealing with the crowd there, which included plenty of kids. It takes some balls to be a New Yorker and come grill steak and pork in front of a bunch of Texans, but he pulled it off nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/72 "2006-02-19T17:21:48Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > The hotness of Giada de Laurentis is only spurred on by the fact that her show is shot exactly like soft core porn. The music, the soft focus, the close-up montages…it’s like Cinemax after midnight. That is totally true, now that you mention it. It isn’t shot like any other cooking shows, between the music and the editing. I assume it was a conscious decision, to emphasize the more earthy, glamorous, sensual aspects of cooking (and Giada herself). ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/73 "2006-02-19T20:41:00Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > And once again, I called **dibs** on AB years ago. He’s mine, so everyone just BACK OFF!!! Or get in line _behind_ me. HA. You’re little. I can take you, easy. I’ve been an AB fan for years. We met him last year when he was in town for a book signing. I have two signed copies of his books, and Dave has one as well. I just got a Kitchenaid stand mixer ($76!!! Ebay!) which I am considering having painted, since AB says it can be done. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/74 "2006-02-19T20:42:20Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > Everyone knows that Alton and I were separated at birth, right? He’s bigger. And, he can’t handle the cold like a good Quebecker Barbarian can. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/75 "2006-02-20T00:31:42Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > HA. You’re little. I can take you, easy. > > I’ve been an AB fan for years. We met him last year when he was in town for a book signing. I have two signed copies of his books, and Dave has one as well. I just got a Kitchenaid stand mixer ($76!!! Ebay!) which I am considering having painted, since AB says it can be done. Again, I must point out, _I_ started this thread, so he’s mine first. 😛 Ivylad wants a mixer for Father’s Day…typical male, he’s interested in the highest wattage he can find. Not the accessories, not the color, but the wattage. If that baby isn’t at least 400 watts, he’ll turn his nose up. I keep trying to tell him I don’t think we have the counter space, but he insists he’ll make room. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/76 "2006-02-20T01:12:46Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > He’s bigger. And, he can’t handle the cold like a good Quebecker Barbarian can. I’ve never denied being shorter than my brothers. 🙂 _puts on ski mask and goes bicycling in sub-zero weather_ ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/77 "2006-02-20T01:18:06Z")
Alton Brown is just waiting on me to learn how great hot homo lovin’ is, so everybody else, just back off! He makes the perfect angel food cake. That shows that he’s really just in need of the right man to take care of him. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/78 "2006-02-20T02:15:21Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > I’ve never denied being shorter than my brothers. 🙂 > > _puts on ski mask and goes bicycling in sub-zero weather_ Seriously, he bitched about the cold in Maryland when I told him I was from Canada. And then he shivered and said no way he could handle Canadian cold. Ha. ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/79 "2006-02-20T05:13:33Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Again, I must point out, _I_ started this thread, so he’s mine first. 😛 > > Ivylad wants a mixer for Father’s Day…typical male, he’s interested in the highest wattage he can find. Not the accessories, not the color, but the wattage. If that baby isn’t at least 400 watts, he’ll turn his nose up. > > I keep trying to tell him I don’t think we have the counter space, but he insists he’ll make room. You should encourage him to make that room. Once you get involved in any serious cooking or baking, a good stand mixer is worth its weight in saffron. Regarding the wattage issue, AB also addressed this in one of his shows. “W” made the point that wattage is often highly marketed but not necessarily indicative of quality or power. I think he was chosing a stick blender at the time but the basic idea should still apply. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976/80 "2006-02-20T18:56:51Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > One thing - I’ve tried a couple of Martha Stewart’s recipies - never again. I tried to make her Lemon Bars, and dirtied every freaking mixing bowl, measuring cup and measuring spoon in the kitchen, and had flour every-freaking-where. And they were dry and tasteless. > The ones I make from a store-brand box mix are ten times better. Wow - I have several of Martha’s books, and I’ve never ever made anything that didn’t turn out - I’m really surprised!!! I’m sorry it didn’t work for you - I think her recipes are about the best - I’m a huge Martha fan, though, so I may be biased. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alton-brown-mmmm/344976.md?page=5)