# Alvin Tostig **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [March 24, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641 "2000-03-24T22:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/1 "2000-03-24T22:45:00Z")
Tostig, the Earl of Wessex, was the perfidious brother of King Harold in the mid 1000s. He joined with one of Harold’s arch enemies, Harald Hardrada, the King of Norway, in a rape and pillage stampede from the coast of Northern England to York. But King Harold, having heard of the invasion, led his army very swiftly north, where it ambushed Hardrada and Tostig, killing them both in a fierce battle, on September 25, 1074. [Invasion of England, 1066](http://www.ibiscom.com/bayeux.htm) It is easy to imagine that this story might have greatly impressed the romantic, zealous, and creative young Taupin. Yes, Bernie did indeed say, according to East End Lights, a huge Elton John and Bernie Taupin fan club, that the name “Alvin Tostig” is fictitious. But I would wager a dollar against a dime that the name was inspired by the remarkable story of Harold and Tostig and all the other sundry characters in a remarkable English century. And Alvin might be a friend, aquaintance, or just some significant person with the name. As you can tell by Bernie’s brutally impassioned and impetuous style, he is a pen-on-napkin sort of composer. (He wrote “Your Song” while eating breakfast one morning.) He often puts together thoughts in an associative process that pulls a verse out of a synthesis of real life and the boyish imagination that he’s never lost. The comemorative cover album, [Two Rooms](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000001FXH/o/qid=953936905/sr=8-1/102-3257584-8216028), was so named because Elton and Bernie have never composed a song in the same room together. Bernie always writes the lyrics, as though they were poems, and then sends them to Elton, who, alone in a room, reads them, and evokes his expression of them at a keyboard just raw as it comes to him by pure inspiration. He “demonstrates” this process with the beautiful ballad, “Tiny Dancer”, and how it came about, on a video anthology, also called [Two Rooms](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/6302179661/102-3257584-8216028). John and Taupin are incredible composers, experimenting in almost every musical genre, from the rotten nasy gutter blues of “Stinker” to the richly Wagnerian “Funeral for a Friend”, a compelling classical dirge. In “Levon”, the fusion of John and Taupin is exemplified in its full glory. A key theme of the song that underlies its surreal plot is the endurance of faith. The “he shall be Levon” is delivered by Elton just as the peak of the melody’s crescendo begins to subside. In those long, sustained measures, amid the clashing of symbols and fitfully insistent violins and cellos, Elton seems to cry out, “He shall be-lieve on!” Another dollar against a dime that Elton perfectly expressed what Bernie intended. They are a classic hand in glove pair. On the video, Bernie talks about what it’s like to hear his songs for the first time, having only seen them as poems. He said that he _always_ likes what he hears, and that surprises were rare. (Makes me wonder about the flippy "I Think I’m Going to Kill Myself.) His own favorite, he said, was “Candle in the Wind”. (That would be the Norma Jean version, as Diana had not yet died.) Elton’s favorite was “Your Song”. Anyway, thanks for reading. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/2 "2000-03-24T22:59:00Z")
Well done, Lib. And here’s the [Mailbag article](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mlevon.html) in question. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/3 "2000-03-25T03:43:00Z")
One minor correction: September 25, **1074** should read September 25, **1066**. Harold’s forced marches, first north to meet Harald and Tostig, then south to meet William very likely weakened his forces and contributed to William’s victory at Hastings. * * * Tom~ ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/4 "2000-03-25T16:18:00Z")
Besides, it is well-known that 1066 is the only memorable date in English History. So it musta been 1066. Anyone consider that Tostig could be a anagram for Gitsot? And Gitsot was the derogatory term that Henry IV called his jester, Alvin. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/5 "2000-03-25T16:28:00Z")
Thanks, Tom. I have no _idea_ why I said 1074. Thankfully, the link has the right date. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/6 "2000-03-25T22:18:00Z")
Dex, do what? Alvin the jester? ---
**Author:** ![EltonJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3e96dc/32.png) [@EltonJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EltonJohn)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/7 "2005-11-12T03:45:49Z")
“The New York Times said God is dead” “Alvin Tostig” rearranged is “Got isnt aliv(e)” “Levon Tostig” rearranged is “Got isnt love” “Levon” rearranged is “N(o) Love” “Jesus Tostig” rearranged is “Jesus ist Got” Jesus = Love Jesus wants to go to Venus (Venus = Love) Alvin didn’t believe in god, so he was a pawn of the devil. Alvin’s son, Levon, was rich, but he was a pauper because his father denied him the love of God. He gets no pleasure from his wealth, spending his days “counting in a garage”. God is the source of all love. Without God, there can be no love. Only hatred remains “and the war’s begun”. Levon glorifies this war of hate; he suffers from it, but “wears his war wound like a crown”. Alvin says “he shall be Levon” meaning “He shall not know the love of God”, “and he shall be a good man” meaning God is not necessary to be good. That his son not know God’s love is Alvin’s plan for his family; to be atheists and still be good people. Jesus knows this is not possible. His father Levon lives in a beautiful world, but he can’t see it. He makes beautiful cartoon balloons, but he doesn’t enjoy them. Jesus does. Jesus watches them fly up to heaven. He wants to follow them and leave his father’s godless, loveless world behind. ---
**Author:** ![rfgdxm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c0e974/32.png) [@rfgdxm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rfgdxm)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/8 "2005-11-12T06:05:56Z")
> [@EltonJohn](#): > > “The New York Times said God is dead” > > “Alvin Tostig” rearranged is “Got isnt aliv(e)” > > “Levon Tostig” rearranged is “Got isnt love” > > “Levon” rearranged is “N(o) Love” > > “Jesus Tostig” rearranged is “Jesus ist Got” > > Jesus = Love > > Jesus wants to go to Venus (Venus = Love) > > Alvin didn’t believe in god, so he was a pawn of the devil. > > Alvin’s son, Levon, was rich, but he was a pauper because his father denied him the love of God. He gets no pleasure from his wealth, spending his days “counting in a garage”. > > God is the source of all love. Without God, there can be no love. Only hatred remains “and the war’s begun”. Levon glorifies this war of hate; he suffers from it, but “wears his war wound like a crown”. > > Alvin says “he shall be Levon” meaning “He shall not know the love of God”, “and he shall be a good man” meaning God is not necessary to be good. That his son not know God’s love is Alvin’s plan for his family; to be atheists and still be good people. > > Jesus knows this is not possible. His father Levon lives in a beautiful world, but he can’t see it. He makes beautiful cartoon balloons, but he doesn’t enjoy them. Jesus does. Jesus watches them fly up to heaven. He wants to follow them and leave his father’s godless, loveless world behind. Nope. Doesn’t fly. Anagrams make little sense of they aren’t exact. And I’ve never seen “got” as a synonym for “god”. And the notion “Without God, there can be no love.” isn’t a theme in Taupin’s lyrics in general I know of. Now Venus is the Roman goddess of love. But why would the child Jesus identify with the mythology of the people that killed the historic Jesus? And it seems to me “Alvin” is a non-significant character in the song. It’s about Levon (hence the title). Can anyone think of a genuine anagram of “Levon Tostig” that indicates a lack of love, or no god? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/9 "2005-11-12T12:53:17Z")
> [@rfgdxm](#): > > And I’ve never seen “got” as a synonym for “god”. You never heard the famous quote by Samuel Morse: “What hath got wrought?” ::: ducking::: ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/10 "2005-11-12T16:14:55Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > You never heard the famous quote by Samuel Morse: “What hath got wrought?” ::: ducking::: Got Milk? BTW CK…zombie thread!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/11 "2005-11-12T19:18:25Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Alvin the jester? Alvin the jester ova f’ suppah, we is. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/12 "2005-11-18T21:16:26Z")
> [@rfgdxm](#): > > And I’ve never seen “got” as a synonym for “god”. It is if you speak German and can’t spell. (“Gott” is German for God.) But yeah, that anagrammatically-challenged argument is pretty weak overall. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/13 "2005-11-18T21:29:49Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Got Milk? > > BTW CK…zombie thread!!! No kidding; Alvin Tostig \ **Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/14 "2005-11-18T23:46:12Z") We’re not completely intolerant of revived old threads in this forum. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/15 "2005-11-19T00:10:24Z")
Since we’re engaging in rampaging speculation here, it seems to me that “Alvin Tostig” just sounds good. Period. If I were to go beyond that, I’d suspect that “Alvin Tostig” would be a great name for a boring little Englishman who was a distant descendant of an ancient Barbarian warrior but had none of his wildness or his strength. (Not to anyone who cares: I say strength, not necessarily virtue, if he was a rapist.) Alvin has a son – a son who is announced quite grandly, as a prince or a godling might be. (He shall be Levon!) Levon (at his birth) is the forlorn hope of an ordinary Englishman, and he excels only to the extent that he becomes a balloon magnate who values cash in a big way. Levon’s son, even more grandly named “Jesus,” doesn’t even make it that far. He has always struck me as rather a gentle simpleton. But for all that, Levon is a good man, even if he doesn’t quite live up to “the family plan” except financially. I kind of see it as a song about the futility of a family’s hopes for their descendants. Weird and depressing, but that’s the way it has always struck me. How’s that for totally subjective and probably wildly off the mark speculation? Oh, BTW – doesn’t “Alvin Tostig” sort of remind you of “Bernie Taupin” in meter? ---
**Author:** ![rfgdxm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c0e974/32.png) [@rfgdxm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rfgdxm)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/16 "2005-11-19T08:06:37Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Since we’re engaging in rampaging speculation here, it seems to me that “Alvin Tostig” just sounds good. Period. This is my thought also. “Alvin Tostig” also sounds like a plausible enough UK name that likely few actually have. Writers often like such names as they piss off few real people with that name, yet they aren’t always using extremely common names “Mike Jones” that seem implausible when all characters are named that. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/17 "2005-11-19T08:29:27Z")
Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually posting on this board! I am a HUGE fan of your 70s stuff. Even now, 30 years later. But you suck since Rock of the Westies. ---
**Author:** ![rfgdxm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c0e974/32.png) [@rfgdxm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rfgdxm)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/18 "2005-11-19T08:59:21Z")
> [@lorinada](#): > > Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually posting on this board! I am a HUGE fan of your 70s stuff. Even now, 30 years later. But you suck since Rock of the Westies. Heh. Obviously not the real EJ. Besides, the real lyrics were by Bernie Taupin. If there IS a definitive answer, it would be for Taupin to say. For example, if they relly are anagrams in their, EJ may have been oblivious to them. Think the Beatles “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”. If some of them were really about LSD use, they flew over the heads of a lot of folks in the studio at the time. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/19 "2005-12-11T02:31:21Z")
Listen to the record. Elton clearly and succinctly sings: He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas Day When the New York Times said "God is dead And the war’s begun" **How fantastic to have a son today** Get it? There is no Alvin, Tostic or otherwise. The phrase is: How fantastic to have a son today. There is no mystery here. Listen to the damned record. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641/20 "2005-12-11T04:35:04Z")
Well, there is a mystery. And the mystery is: where do you get the notion that the line reads “How fantastic to have a son today”? The lyrics sites confirm the line that I’ve always heard: “Alvin Tostig has a son today.” [lyrics for Levon](http://www.eltonography.com/songs/levon.html): > [@](#): > > He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day > When the New York Times said God is dead > And the war’s begun > Alvin Tostig has a son today It would also be kinda odd for the imaginary son to have a son of his own, Jesus. But the song is all about Levon and Jesus, not Alvin. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alvin-tostig/1641.md?page=2)