# Am I a creep? (Alt. title - Not in My Backyard!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207 "2009-09-07T22:22:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/21 "2009-09-08T22:25:29Z")
> [@Jerseyman](#): > > I’d feel much the same, ex or not, that this person is a self-endangering fool. Maybe there is a death-wish or at least a kind of punishment-wish. Prejudice runs high and can easily be taken onboard. I’ve seen something similar with some promiscuous girls, a tendency to go for the men nobody else will touch and could be dangerous. I’d think of them as being _immoral_, not _amoral_, that they have never really overcome feelings of being bad and shameful and come to accept themselves as they are. I don’t really see what’s wrong with being promiscuous if you’re using protection. How are they immoral? ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/22 "2009-09-08T22:38:53Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t really see what’s wrong with being promiscuous if you’re using protection. How are they immoral? Because they want to be hurt? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/23 "2009-09-08T22:42:22Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Because they want to be hurt? Why does someone who’s promiscuous but using protection hurting themselves necessarily? And why is self harm immoral? ---
**Author:** ![Jerseyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Jerseyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jerseyman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/24 "2009-09-08T22:57:17Z")
I don’t see anything wrong with promiscuity _per se_ but I am thinking of promiscuity with people that others avoid because it is commonly known they regard a partner as a slut and have a violent reputation. There’s a difference between Hippy feelings of casual free love with everybody and going specifically where others feel too much self-respect to tread. I think that underneath, these people feel that they are doing wrong and want to feel ashamed while others do not. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/25 "2009-09-09T03:07:23Z")
I am all about promiscuity, actually, when all parties involved are A-OK. The current bf and I are monogamous, and I respect that. If he wanted to have sex parties and invite me along, I’d be fine with that too. It’s the barebacking-with-strangers-especially-those-who-you-KNOW-have-HIV aspect that bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/26 "2009-09-09T03:38:42Z")
To be clear, do/will the other party attendees know that the fellow in question is HIV+? If they do, then you can maybe make a case that it’s their own business (I don’t think I’d agree with that case, but you could make it). If they don’t, though, then you really should make sure they at least find out. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/27 "2009-09-09T06:46:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d think of them as being immoral, not amoral, that they have never really overcome feelings of being bad and shameful and come to accept themselves as they are. Yeah…I wonder if bugchasing is due to really deep interalized self hatred. Sort of like the way kids who were abused or grew up in horrible situtions can become severe addicts/alkys.I mean theres still a lot of dumbasses who think that AIDS is God’s punishment for being gay. > [@](#): > > It’s the barebacking-with-strangers-especially-those-who-you-KNOW-have-HIV aspect that bugs me. Exactly.It’s VERY VERY skeevy. I wish there was some sort of organized movement to combat bugchasing. You know…is the poz person the slave? I wonder if this is some sort of REALLY weird master/slave abuse? (NOT saying that master/slave pairup is nessarily bad. Just saying that it does seem that there’s a small percentage who could almost have clinical issues) Do you think that your ex might have some …odd mental health issues? ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/28 "2009-09-10T02:58:18Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > To be clear, do/will the other party attendees know that the fellow in question is HIV+? If they do, then you can maybe make a case that it’s their own business (I don’t think I’d agree with that case, but you could make it). If they don’t, though, then you really should make sure they at least find out. Yes, it’s noted clearly in the advertisement. > [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > You know…is the poz person the slave? I wonder if this is some sort of REALLY weird master/slave abuse? (NOT saying that master/slave pairup is nessarily bad. Just saying that it does seem that there’s a small percentage who could almost have clinical issues) Do you think that your ex might have some …odd mental health issues? The slave is the poz person, yes. The ex wasn’t clinically crazy, although we all have our opinions of our exes. 😉 Dependency issues, maybe, but not anything worse than that that I knew of. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/29 "2009-09-14T01:12:12Z")
I remember from an episode of Queer as Folk there was this college student who was in a group of bug chasers. The way they saw it, they might as well “get it over with” and then after they got it, they’d be “free” and kinda have the true gay experience or something I guess. It’s fucking retarded. If anyone I knew did anything like this I would smack them upside the head. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207/30 "2009-09-14T01:43:28Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > So I get an email from my best friend last night, from a gay personals site. It is a screenshot of my ex (of a couple years) and his ad for a sex party, involving “seeding and feeding” his slave, who happens to be HIV-positive (the ex is not.) Now, I feel like this is a bad idea, because “seeding” involves all sorts of unprotected sex with a known HIV+ person. I don’t know you IRL and I sure has hell don’t know your ex. I am seriously weirded out by this. If this were an ex of mine, yes I would be even more weirded out. So no I don’t think you are a crazy stalker. FTR I have no problem with the slave part, or the seeding and feeding, its the HIV+ part that makes it weird beyond words. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-creep-alt-title-not-in-my-backyard/509207.md?page=1)