# Am I a homophobic bigot? An invitation to judge me. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 8, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689 "2001-02-08T21:21:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/121 "2001-02-10T19:13:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\ ***Esprix** , it has little to do with my forgiving nature. As a 100% heterosexual male I know how fuckin’ hard it is to get the words _I’m Sorry_ across ones lips. Even on a message board. 😉 \*\* Because things are hard to do does not excuse the neglect of effort. As a 100% human, I would appreciate a difficult effort made over an easy out anytime. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/122 "2001-02-11T02:07:04Z")
Ha ha Smelson, you think you have a CHOICE? Try WALKING TALL! MW AHA AHAHAHAHAH!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/123 "2001-02-12T11:12:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mouthbreather \* > \*\*I’d also like to add that the gay posters ( **Goboy, Esprix** ) who entered this thread able to look at this topic objectively just gained some major points in my book. Yeah, I know, that and a quarter will get you a BJ in Tijuana – but I expected them to come in here guns a-blazin. \*\* Actually, for me a thread like this is more likely to make me come into it objectively than to enter with “gunsa-a-blazin”. Personally, i think Hastur shoots his mouth off a lot, he often gets hot headed, especially when he’s flaming someone. I do also think he needs a little more practice at looking at things objectively before he goes off (and also practice debating). I dont always agree with his stance on things. I dont think Freedom is a homophobe, but using the comment “limp wristed faggot” sure would make me wonder. I also think that Freedom should have stepped away from the computer for a while before responding as he did. Both of you were hot headed, and both of you pretty much escalated things. Of course, anything i’ve said has probably already been pointed out…carry on. ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/124 "2001-02-12T14:35:12Z")
can someone please define “homophobe”? ---
**Author:** ![Freedom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Freedom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedom)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/125 "2001-02-12T15:24:21Z")
Ok mods. Lock’er up. Any hijacks can get worked out on someone else’s thread. Thanks for every one’s input. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/126 "2001-02-12T16:59:09Z")
**justinh** , Webster’s New World defines it as, “Hatred or fear of homosexuals or homosexuality.” As said before, it’s the “ism” of gay folk (akin to racism, sexism, etc.) So **Freedom** , before we sign off, what are your final thoughts? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Freedom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Freedom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedom)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/127 "2001-02-12T17:07:04Z")
Mods, I’m typing out an answer to Esprix. Could you hold off on closing the thread for a minute? Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/128 "2001-02-12T17:11:21Z")
so homophobe is a politically correct term? it is actually homosexualism. I thought the definition of a phobia was a unnatural fear of something. I don’t fear cats but I hate them so am I a felinephob? ---
**Author:** ![Freedom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Freedom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedom)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/129 "2001-02-12T17:45:35Z")
Well, first I wish I could try and claim that I was either stoned or drunk when I took the swipe at you. We have had a bunch of comversations in the last year, I have always known who you were and had a positive impression of you. I just got all hot headed and threw you in with Hastur. Did I say I was sorry about that? Well, I am sorry. That is pretty much the thing I regret the most. I have always considered myself to be very very color blind when it comes to people. I grew up in a diverse town, so my friends were always a mix. Generalizations always seemed to be a tool of the ignorant, so I have always taken each person as an individual, and then figured out if I liked them from there. When I got to college,(early 90’s) I had my first real exposure to homosexuals. It seemed fairly natural to just keep judging people on an individual basis. In general, I think I let myself get into an ugly fight with Hastur. I’m an adult, I won’t blame the whole thing on Hastur because I could have bowed out at any time, but I can be mule-headed and tend to slug it out to the bitter end instead of cutting my losses and quitting. Hastur is just as mule-headed. Mule + Mule = 2 Jackasses \*\*About the LimpWF comment. \*\* I still think it was a rough equivalent to the LilyWH and world of heterosexual priviledge comment. My intention was to show how insulting and ignorant Hastur’s comment was, so by definition my response going to be repulsive. I always knew it was out of line, I was never under the impression that saying something like that was “ok.” HOWEVER… I realize I do not know everyone here, and everyone here does not know me. So dropping that comment into a void like the SD was unadvised, insensitive and begging to be misunderstood. I should have couched my comment with something like: > [@](#): > > Hastur, > > How would you like it if I called you a … > > Because that is basically the same thing you said to me. I recognize that not everyone feels this way, but I only ever promised to honestly consider other points of view, not to whole heartedly let my brain get re-programmed. **A New Perspective For Me** I have had friends who are gay. 3-4 years ago I was friends with large group of people where at least half were gay/lesbian. But life goes on, you start working more, you get in a serious relationship, people move, you move and you find that people have faded away into the distance. Never in all that time had I considered the additional stress they went through because of the day to day little things. Reading the thread about “Butch Faggots”[sub]not my title[/sub] I could look back and remember incidents just like the ones described. Funny how it wasn’t until now that I thought of the greater impact on their lives they had. I can see how a thousand little insults can really add up to more than the total of their sum. I’m not quite sure what I can do with this new perspective, but I do have it. **John Corrado** I’m still a little fuzzy about the warning. **All in all** It took the first thread, the Pit thread and finally THIS thread to get around to the point I was originally trying to make. The point being that tolerance has to come from both sides, and involves accepting things that you may disagree with or even feel uncomfortable with. I appreciated the comments, it is always a good idea to hear what others are thinking about you. It might not be comfortable, but every now and then again you have to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689/130 "2001-02-12T18:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **justinh** _ > > so homophobe is a politically correct term? it is actually homosexualism. I thought the definition of a phobia was a unnatural fear of something. I don’t fear cats but I hate them so am I a felinephob? “Homophobia” is the correct term, period - there is no other term, “PC” or not. Look it up in the dictionary. Etymologically speaking it’s inaccurate, but oh well - English is hardly a static language. (Haven’t we covered this discussion, like, oh, I don’t know, ten thousand times already? You want to start a new thread, go right ahead.) **Freedom** , nice wrap-up. Esprix [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-homophobic-bigot-an-invitation-to-judge-me/53689.md?page=6)