# Am I a prude? Ashley Madison.com

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-prude-ashley-madison-com/480088>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 6, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-prude-ashley-madison-com/480088 "2009-01-06T14:52:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-prude-ashley-madison-com/480088/61 "2009-01-07T19:52:40Z")

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> [@acsenray](#):
>
> There’s no “maybe” about it. The answer to all of your questions is “there’s a pretty good chance of it and there’s no way for you to know.” Yes, cheating _is_ going to directly affect you or someone you care about and **there’s nothing that you or society as a whole can do to prevent it** ,

The bolded part is where we disagree. I don’t think it’s true. I agree that nothing’s been terribly effective thus far, but I think that’s because we’ve tried varying levels of oppression and repression thus far, and I think that’s the exact wrong way to go about it.

What no one’s tried on a large scale - or at least tried lately - is open and honest sexual relationships with more than one consenting adult. That’s a pretty new experiment (the open, honest and consenting parts, not the more than one part) and I don’t think it’s been going on long enough or widespread enough to declare it a success or a failure yet.

Before the torches are lit, let me say once again that this doesn’t mean I think everyone is polyamorous or that everyone should be polyamorous or that poly people are “more evolved” or anything silly like that. But I would like children to be taught that monogamy is ONE way, and if it works for them, great, but there’s another ethical way to conduct relationships as well.

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**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-prude-ashley-madison-com/480088/62 "2009-01-07T19:57:55Z")

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I have no conceptual, moral, or other objection to your proposition, but my view is that it will never happen. Because as I said in my first post in this thread, while infidelity is hardwired into human behavior, it has a matched pair in expectation of fidelity. Sexual jealousy is just as, if not more, of an ingrained human trait. As I mentioned before, even polygamists cheat.

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