# Am I a sucker, or a decent person? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 18, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744 "2002-06-18T20:51:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![EnigmaOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EnigmaOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnigmaOne)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/41 "2002-06-20T22:36:20Z")
:::nod::: Sucker. Well intentioned mind you, but certainly had. In those situations, I offer to give “them” what they say the money is needed to purchase: Gas, food, diapers, formula, medicine, car seat (yes, a car seat!)…whatever. In 10 years of living in Long Beach, only one guy took me up on an offer of food instead of insisting on the money. I saw him something like six months later, and he thanked me for helping him out. I haven’t seen him since, though I hear he’s working in Gardena. I still see the others fairly regularly around town, and have learned that ALL of them are addicts of some type (usually crack). Most of them actually receive a monthly disability check (something on the order of $800.00 - $900.00 of OUR tax dollars, according to the folks at the check cashing place) and have a roof over their heads. NONE of them have the children that they always claim are suffering in some unseen location when they give their sidewalk performances. I still offer the stated objective of their melodrama, but won’t give $$$ to anyone. I figure that if they refuse my very specific offer of help…screw 'em…my consience is clear. [afterthought] Oh yeah, if you beard-wearing guys ever come out to visit the Queen Mary, and somebody comes up to you and says (real friendly-like), “Has anyone ever told that you look just like Chuck Norris?” Simply reply, “Yeah, but only when they’re planning to ask me for money or cigarettes.” The shit-fit they throw is worth it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/42 "2002-06-21T09:45:31Z")
I don’t give to panhandlers because I’m more afraid of being robbed than scammed. I used to live in the Oakland section of Pittsburgh, too (small world, eh?) and my last straw was when I opened my wallet to give this guy a buck, and he reached in lightning-fast and snagged two fives. What could I do? **Never let anyone see where you keep your money**. Another unpleasant incident was when I gave a buck to another guy. Now, this guy was kind of okay. He always smiled, whether you gave him anything or not, and he always said thank you. But when I started to give him the dollar, this woman I’d never seen before started crying and saying “You can’t give to him…you gotta give something to me! He’s just an old drunk…nobody gives anything to me…” I gave her another dollar and got the hell out. I’ve dealt with panhandlers in Pittsburgh, Cleveland and here in LA. Many times, I’ve offered food, and I don’t remember anyone refusing it. One guy did say he’d have to go in the alley to eat because he was going to continue soliciting afterwards. Whatever. I figure, their goal is not to raise a definite amount; they’re going to stay out there all through daylight hours and see how much that gets them. So they might as well have something to keep their strength up, and I can spare a granola bar. I’ve asked about this before, but has anyone ever seen the guy I’ve seen in downtown LA? He’s white, no more than 5’9", with a comb-over and a beard, blah brown and a little gray. He looks like…You probably wouldn’t recognize Joe Klein, former(?) reporter for Newsweek, but he was “Anonymous”, the author of **Primary Colors** , and this guy is a dead ringer. He looks like a generic professional: your family doctor, your kid’s band director. Anyway, he wears a short-sleeved shirt and tie, no jacket, and carries something like a datebook. He walks real brisk like he’s going somewhere, then stops abruptly and asks if you can spare a dollar. The first time I saw him, I thought he might have a genuine problem, although I wondered why someone who appeared to belong in the corporate district needed to ask strangers for help. But I saw him again, a few months later, and then again! I didn’t give him anything any of those times, although the third time, I asked what he needed it for. “Someone stole my briefcase with my wallet and cell phone and everything in it.” Happens every time you’re downtown, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/43 "2002-06-21T11:24:07Z")
I got approached by a guy a few months back wanting money. I can’t remember the exact story, but it was the usual stuff. However, he had some extra-credible spin on it and was particularly convincing. But I didn’t give him anything and went away feeling guilty. What if he was telling the truth and he wasn’t just going to spend the money on booze at the first opportunity? Two weeks later he approached me again in the same street at the same place with the same story. Except this time he was not exactly drunk, but obviously had had a few. Felt much better. But I’ve got to give him credit on giving a convincing and original performance that almost had me. But not too smart to not realize that if he hangs out in the same place he’s soon going to start meeting the same suckers he stung last time. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/44 "2002-06-21T12:59:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dead Badger \* > \*\*Agreed about the too many details. Had a guy come up to me the other day with a line similar to “hey mate, I’m from Manchester (as you can probably tell by my accent), and my dad has a lymphatic splenectomy of the upper colon and I need to get home (just near Piccadilly) by 7.25 tonight or my mother, Pearl, will not be able to fry the eggs that feed the cat that sits on my dad to warm him so he can sleep. Spare some change?” > > I politely declined. \*\* Were those his **exact** words? No embellishment on your part? :o [sub]That’s supposed to be the embarrassed smilie, but I think of it as the flabbergasted smilie. Smack seems like it covers embarrassment, in the right context.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/45 "2002-06-24T13:57:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > \*\* > > Were those his **exact** words? No embellishment on your part? :o > > [sub]That’s supposed to be the embarrassed smilie, but I think of it as the flabbergasted smilie. Smack seems like it covers embarrassment, in the right context.[/sub] \*\* Totally off the subject, but I’ve always thought of that as the “blowjob” smiley. Ok, ok, I’m going back to work now… ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/46 "2002-06-25T05:18:53Z")
A grizzled old man clutching this tiny little gas can once hit my mother up for money in a supermarket parking lot in Bozeman, Montana. His sob story was that he had driven all the way out West to visit his son in Three Forks (thirty miles further on), and he’d run out of gas (and money, presumably.) My mother very kindly said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. However, there’s a pay phone in that supermarket. Why don’t you try calling your son collect?” Well, that suggestion certainly startled him! As Mom buckled us into the car, he went on through the parking lot, hitting up other shoppers for cash. I’ll have to say that I learned a valuable lesson that day. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/47 "2002-06-25T05:51:24Z")
I used to get hit up for money ALL THE TIME. I’m not sure why it doesn’t happen much anymore (I still live in a fairly seedy section of town). Anyway, the con I’d always get hit with was “Can you please, please give me some money to buy milk for my baby?” Hard to refuse, that. What I took to doing was telling them, “Show me the baby, and I will go to the store and buy you some milk. But I’m not giving you a dime.” They’d walk away mumbling. Oh, and there was the youngish guy who rode up to me on a bicycle and said, “Say man, you got some change so I can buy a 40 of Icehouse?” I started mumbling, "Sorry man, I can’t help _WHAT DID YOU SAY???_ He said, “Look, I’m not gonna lie, I want to get some beer, and I need 73 cents.” I gave him a dollar. I guess I’m a sucker for an innovative salesman. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744/48 "2002-06-25T06:04:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Winnowill \* > \*\*Maybe - just maybe - I was able to help someone who needed it, and gave her some faith that not all white people are racists. I sure hope so. \*\* Dude, that is NOT YOUR JOB. You aren’t a baby-sitter for black people. I mean, what you didn’t wasn’t all that “stupid” in my book; I mean if it were more than $3, then it would be stupid. But you shouldn’t have done it so you could feel like ‘Supper Cracka’. Too me, when you start doing things for people, (bad or good), due to the color of their skin… that’s you being a racist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-a-sucker-or-a-decent-person/114744.md?page=2)